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Tears won't stop
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12-05-2007, 05:46 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: November 21st, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Tears won't stop
Today I am 2 weeks out from TAH. Surgery went well, recovery is o.k. Much slower than I thought but o.k. But I am just so lonesome. I work 40 hours a week in the public (a large retail store) For the last 4 years, along with taking care of my family, I took care of my mom who lived with me and needed much help. In June she moved to assisted living. After she moved I decided it was time for a physical (I hadn't had one in 4 years) I was about to turn 50 and my periods were verrrry heavy. At the end of August my mom passed away. I miss her so much. Then in September the damm broke. First, a few days after my physical doc called said I need to see obgyn. O.K no big deal. Then obgyn said I need complete hyster. O.k. again...I can handle this. Now some good news...my daughter is pregnant, we are thrilled. Then mammogram....opps don't like the looks of right side lets do over. They pinched, twisted, rolled and squeezed until it was the size of a slice of cheese. O.k. very "Dense" lets do again in 6 months. Lots going on at work because I need to get things done before I go. Now we need EKG and chest x-ray. Then couple days later...daughter lost her baby. Next day doc calls wants me to come in. Go...she asks ...when did you have heart attack. WHAT....I've never had heart attack..I'm only 50. I walk (not every day but alot) I eat right. I take care of myself. What heart attack???? So we go in for stress test and ecocardiogram. Turns out no heart attack but I do have a hole in my heart. It is ok, its inside between 2 cavities and has probably been there since I was born but all this can give a person a heart attack!! And when so much is going on who do you talk to?? Mom.....I miss her so much. Problem is during all this I was still working, taking care of my home and my family....I didn't have time to think. Now post surgery........here I am relaxing and resting and my mind has time to think. I am ok with all the tests and scares, in fact I actually thank God it is ok but I am so very lonesome and I miss my mom so very much. My friend says I didn't have time to greve the loss and so now that my live has slowed down that is what I am doing. So.....my question for you....how can I keep myself busy with out over doing it , how can I stop crying. I am sure it isnt hormone because doc put me on estrogen patch 2 days after surgery. Do I need to call doc and ask for something or just let it go? The first week I was home someone was here but my husband has to work...especially since I am not working.
Thanks for listening. And thanks for such a great web site ...this has helped
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12-05-2007, 07:03 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 577
Hysterectomy: October 22nd, 2007
Surgery Type: LAVH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Tears won't stop
Oh Sweetie,
I am so sorry! For everything......you have been through so much! I will be praying for you and your family.
It does sound like you need some grieving time. That kind of thing has a way of "catching up" to us if we don't deal with it thoroughly at the time it happens........have you considered grief support therapy? It might be good, get you out of the house, give you someone to talk to and help you know what you're feeling is absolutely normal and necessary.
As for the hormones, it's hard to say. Even though you've been taking Estrogen, you may not be on the right levels for you. (or you may) I think discussing your feelings and what you're going through with your doctor can't hurt anything. If you start feeling hopeless or like you just don't want to do anything, get out of bed in the morning, etc., that's depression, and should be addressed with a medical professional.
You have been through so much in such a short period of time. You need time to heal your body and your spirit. When everything seems to happen at once, it can be so difficult to do on your own. I would urge you to call on any and all support systems you have in your life. Friends, family, church, counselors, etc. Make some lunch dates with friends so you can get out of the house. Plan some things you enjoy, even if it takes some effort to do. I find the more I sit around thinking about my troubles, the worse they seem to be. Make sure you get a "break" from the grief at least now and then.
Visit us here often. The women here are such great help! I hope you find the support and peace you so need.
Take Good Care and let us know how we can help!!!
Christine
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12-05-2007, 07:35 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 227
Hysterectomy: November 26th, 2007
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Tears won't stop
you have been through so much, dear. i am praying for you now. I just cannot imagine what all you've suffered, but I know that God will be with you every step of the way if you will let him. I am just 1 week out from my surgery, and I am feeling the ups and downs also.
Please feel free to pm me anytime. I am having trouble finding things I want to do at home also. I'm tired of tv, doing crossword puzzles, and other things. Not sleeping well.
But we have to trust things will get better.
Yes, definitely find a support group somewhere: church, neighborhood, friends.
Let us know how things are going.
Grace
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12-05-2007, 09:08 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 173
Hysterectomy: November 12th, 2007
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Tears won't stop
I'm so sorry you've had to carry so many burdens. I know as women we tend to be strong as long as we need to be and then kind of fall apart when we can. It sounds like that's what you're doing now, and you're feeling all your emotions at once.
You've gotten great advice here so I won't add my redundant suggestions, but I did want you to know that I'll be praying for you that you find some joy and peace in each day.
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12-08-2007, 06:55 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: November 21st, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Tears
Hi Girls.
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I have printed this page and read it many times in the last three days. It was like recieving a every time. I am doing a little better. Tears are starting to come less and farther apart.
The day after I wrote our womens bible study had a Christmas tea and a really good friend came & picked me up to go (I can't drive yet) Although I had to call DH to come get me before it was over (back & belly hurting) I did have a great time.
Little trouble with Christmas being on tv so much because it was always moms fav time of year. But because I am still not feeling great my DD & her 3 little ones are coming tomarrow to decorate. I think that will cheer me alot because I love them so very much and when a 6 year old, a 5 year old and a 2 year old decorate it won't look anything like my mom used to do
Thank you again for the encouragement & the prayers.
Jill
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12-08-2007, 09:52 PM
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Guest
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Posts: 53
Hysterectomy: November 26th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Tears won't stop
I'm so sorry things have been so tough for you. Have you tried journalling? That always helps me get things out of my head. Also, reaching out to others who are grieving and going through similar problems may also help.
Hugs...
Stephanie
30 years old TAH/BSO 11/26/07--endo, adeno, pelvic congestion
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12-09-2007, 11:25 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 227
Hysterectomy: November 26th, 2007
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Tears won't stop
Jill,
How are you feeling these days? We want to hear from you!
Praying for you!
Grace
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12-09-2007, 11:30 AM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 403
Hysterectomy: December 4th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Tears won't stop
Jill,
Oh my goodness, that's a lot to be coping with. I want to add my prayers for you, as well.
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12-09-2007, 12:31 PM
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HysterSister
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Posts: 201
Hysterectomy: May 25th, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH
Ovaries: Kept 1 or both
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Tears won't stop
Many hugs to you Camper,
Its hard to deal with so much at one time. Especially when your mind and activities are running a thousand miles an hour. Now that you have some spare time, you have a chance to reflect and that's probably what is causing you to feel so sad. Both my parents are still alive, but my mother suffers from a few disorders and it is a constant worry. When she was diagnosed they told her she wouldn't live a long life. The Dr. told her she had till she was around 40yrs old. Well, she's 52yrs and the State finally put her on disability. We haven't always gotten along but now that I have children and am getting older my self. It is so important for me to slow down and think, to reflect, and to let those who are close to me know they mean a lot to me.Since my surgery I have had sometime to think about things and have also endured the sadness, but on the flip side I have endure a tremendous happiness. I had my children at a young age and know it was for a reason. I have a wonderful, supporting DH and found that If I give my self some "me time" I feel much better about everything else. I try not to take thing for granite and when bad times or bad things happen I try not to let it bring me down or get me all fussed up. having a calm and clear mind, AND someone to talk to really helps me feel better. I send you lots of hugs and tons of prayers. And when in dowbt, call on your "sisters" we're here for you.
Smile, someone is thinking of you today!
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12-10-2007, 07:03 AM
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Guest
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Posts: 18
Hysterectomy: November 21st, 2007
Surgery Type: TAH/SAH
Ovaries: Removed both
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Thank You
Thanks so much for asking, sorry I wasn't on computer yesterday. DD and family came, brought lunch and put up some christmas decorations.
Thank you all so much for your encouragement & prayers. It really helps ALOT!!!! I do seem to be doing better each day. Little at a time.
On another post I found a way to get rid of the back pain and that helped me feel like I will get better. Now I am moving around and that helps keep my mind busy.
I did however break down really bad in front of my DH and I have to say as awful at that sounds it was probably a good thing because he was awsome. Guess my lesson here is to trust the ones you love and tell them your needs.
to all of you. Don't know if I could have gotten through this without you and all hystersisters family. You have truely been a God send!!
Love, Jill
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