First, these feelings are completely normal and I applaud you for thinking this through prior to your surgery. You are going to be OK!
I hope to lessen your fears by relaying my own experience. I had my TAH (kept ovaries) on 11/20/02.
My husband is much more interested in me since the hyst. All is great in the bedroom. I think there are several reasons for this.
1. not in pain all the time
2. lost 20 pounds
3. I am happier, therefore I am easier to be around which is more condusive to romance than my pre-hyst (much grouchier) personality.
As far as feeling like less of a woman, I never have had those feelings. I smile when I walk past the femine products isle in the grocery store. I am counting my blessings.
The part of me I gave up served no purpose any more in my life except to cause pain.
Not much problem with swelly belly. Some here and there. But, my clothes fit. Just seem more poochy some days than others, but no weight gain to explain it.
Everyone reacts differently to their surgery. I have been very happy for the most part. I have had a couple of set backs but my genius
was able to fix me up both times. So, if you do have issues, make sure you pick up that phone and ask your doc for help!
Best wishes to you on a great outcome.