Very Scared Too - August 28

Greetings everyone:

Im new to the site and it makes me feel better to see that Im not alone with feeling so TERRIFIED im ready to cancel surgery. I find myself making different excuses not to have this done!!

Im soon to be 31 and I need to have TAH. I too have been thinking about all the things that could go wrong and how i will feel after surgery. Im so concerned with the fact that they are removing my cervix only because Ive heard so many different things about sex and how its different.

Im so torn what to do, I feel like I should forget the whole thing and try other alternatives (already done most of them). I have two young children and not alot of caregiving support which is also a concern....also have a husband who doesnt offer a lot of emotional support.....any advice would be wonderful.

Thank you so much.

Busybee31,

Where in PA are you? I am in the Pittsburgh area.

It might help to calm your feelings a little by reading some of the posts in the post op forum as well as the others. Believe me almost everyone is scared, it is normal. Let your know how you are feeling as well, he may give you something for the anxiety. The ladies that have already been through their hysts all say that the waiting is the hardest part because it gives you too much time to think about all the what ifs.

If your DH is not emotionally there for you (believe me I can relate from previous marriage) let us be. Ask any and all questions, someone here will have the answer.

s &

I was scared and apprehensive up until surgery. I am almost 4 months post op and really, it wasn't that bad. My pain is gone and I'm dealing w/the hormone hell for right now. Take your time w/the recovery time, it is frustrating that it takes so long, but I feel better every day, not to say you won't go w/out the "blue" days, it's like post partum blues, but worse.
If your spouse is not reasuring you, I suggest you get on the chat on this sight, it's in the evening, just click on the link for times. I spend time there when I can, most of the ladies can relate and answer questions.
For me sex has been pretty much the same, but I don't have to deal w/birth control!
Good luck! and come join us in the chat room sometime!
Dena (blastoff2fun)

Busybee,

It is okay to be scared, but please don't allow that fear to interefere with your health. I asked my doctor to give me something for anxiety to help me thru this waiting period, (I do have anxiety problems).

I think I have thought about every possible thing that could go wrong, from dying to having an allergic reaction to a drug, but the bottom line is that my current health problems are bigger than my fears. I am tired of being in pain!! My back hurts, my abdomen hurts, I feel bloated and crampy, I want to feel better and get on with my life.

You have two young children. How much more time could you spend with them and how many more activities could you enjoy as a family if your GYN problems were corrected???? What is your current quality of life NOW and what would it be if you were not burdened by your health issues??? Only you know the answer to that question.

As to emotional support, if you DH is not there for you, look to some supportive female friends or this site. I am single and getting very little emotional support from my mother and sister, but I found this site and some wonderful, caring women who are encouraging me. Do this for yourself!! You deserve to feel better, to enjoy life instead of just enduring it. I have not talked to any woman that had less of a sex drive after they recovered, most say that it greatly improved because they felt so much better.

You can do this!!!

Hugs....Joan

To busybee31,
I second everything Joanie41 said.

Think how good you are going to feel when your fixed. I have been suffering with endo for 28 years, and I am looking forward to having my life back with my faimly. I can't do anything right now. nI can not even walk the mall.
I am scheduled for surgery on the 31st.

Stop reading the negative comments. Reasearch everything you can about your condition. That is what I did which only confirmed that I was making the right decision for me.
Prayers to you,
Colleen

I am scared to, I think we all are. nObody in there right mind likes surgery .... I have fears of going under and not wakeing up this time ... I will be haveing a TAH on August 22nd but it's not soon enough for me. I had a D&C in 1995, it worked for awhile but I was still miserable every month. Huge blood clots, cramps, hemorrhaging, back aches ect .... I am now almost 51 and back where I was before the D&C + now I have cervical cancer.. I am not looking forward to another surgery, but it's something I have to do, I don't have a choice.... They are takeing my uterus, cervics, tubes and my overies .... I guess we could all try and talk ourselves out of haveing it done, but then we suffer the consequences down the road... (like I am now) cerviacl cancer. That doesn't mean you will get it, that's not my intent of this message.
I had an emergency Gall Bladder removal March 16, 2001 it was shear hell... so was my hospital stay .. But we do heal in time .. I even won a bikini contest after it ...
sO look on the brighter side:
(what will surgery do to make me feel normal again) ??? After reading so many of the success stories I am "READY"
Best Wishes to all of you
Enjoli

Surgeries I have had = a c-section, a hernia removed above my belly button, my tubes clamped, 2 Lapo's, and a D&C, 3 lower jaw implants, and a Breast Aug from losing 20 lbs. It took me 3 years to put it back on. Right now I am at 116. and a gall bladder removal. I am getting a little puchy here .. I don't have many good parts left ... and what I do have I want to keep

"O" my I just read my message he he he .. I made it sound like I looked like Frankinstein. My web site is listed in my profile, even with all of these parts missing I am still a compleate "WOMAM" and so will you be ... Silly me
Can't wait to be "PAIN FREE"

Hello,
I had my TAH in Jan. I'm 36 with 3 children. Sex without a cervix is just fine. It is different, but not in a bad way. Without uterine contractions, everything seems incredibly concentrated in one area and while it's pleasurable to no end, it's also very close to being actual pain it's so intense. I can handle it on a daily basis anyway, so no problems here without a cervix
I hope that you can find help for your first 2 weeks home. You will really need to rest and take care of yourself then. My MIL came over in the mornings and got my kids off to school. I was okay taking care of myself. At night, DH was on duty.
I froze meals ahead of time and had things the kids could make themselves like rolls and butter, sandwiches, and cereal. ( Won't hurt them in the long run to eat a sloppy diet) After 2 weeks, my DR let me start doing my normal routine of fixing meals, loading dishwasher, and laundry ( no lifting though). Every week I did more and more. It was those first 2 weeks that I needed help at home or driving. I also stocked the house with food because pushing a full grocery cart is not recommended for the first 6 weeks until you are given an okay by your DR and even then your body may say no way lady. The recovery is long, but so worth it. I never imagined that I would feel this fantastic all the time. Good luck I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Two thumbs up!

I would like to thank everyone soooo much!!!WOW!! I was totally amazed with all of the wonderful responses and kind words of wisdom. I am going to take the advise and ask for some anxiety meds to help.

I really enjoyed reading your stories, I felt that I could relate to a lot of them and they really made me LAUGH which is what I need right now.

This site really helps someone who is having second thoughts, everyone is so nice and Im very thankful my dear friend recommended all of you too me!!!