Feeling Guilty

I just received an e-mail from my boss about when I will be returning to work. I informed him previously it woul be 6-8 weeks per my Dr. So I would return by 8/18 the latest and 8/4 the earliest. I still seem tired and know how busy the hospital is. He stated maybe light duty, but I don't see that really happening. The nurse from employee health stated they prefer you come back when you can return to your normal job. Problem 2: My father had his hip replace and will be home Mon. Then both of my parents will be walking with walkers. I am on family leave and would like to take the 8 weeks under my surgery because if I return and say I need time off to care for parents it would be frowned upon. By the way I am the only child. Help me, am I thinking too much? Sorry this is so lengthy.

What does your boss mean by "light duty?" Does that mean that you could lay down when you needed too?? haha With all that you have on your plate right now, I would opt for the 8/18 return date if your dr would agree. Don't feel guilty about needing the extra time. Just treat yourself like a princess and relax, they will get things done at the hospital, even if you're not there. So don't let your boss lay a guilt trip on you. Everyone heals differently. I am a week behind you (6-24) and still take naps when I need them or I pay dearly. Just don't overdo it when you are with your parents. Take care of yourself.

If you are covered under the Family Leave Act, you are entitled to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave for a personal illness or to care for a sick family member. Please be sure that you have filed all the appropriate Family Leave paperwork with your human resources department. I worked in a hospital when I had my hysterectomy; I even had the surgery in that hospital. Since I had only been employed for three months, I wasn't covered under the Family Leave Act. I was verbally promised that I would have a job to return to when I returned in 8 weeks. During my recovery, the Director of HR called me at home (at night) and said he had eliminated my job. I had a verbal promise that my job was secure and I would be allowed to return to it; however, that did not happen. Please be sure that you retain copies of your FMLA paperwork.

I am sorry to hear about your job. I have filed all of the papers with HR. I also have close to 700 sick hrs accumulated. I am going to try for the 8 weeks. Wish me luck

Newscar,
Do you work wor a Government agency? I only ask because of all the sick leave you have. I can't imagine a problem if you have that much leave and your doctor gives you the extra time. I had to borrow sick leave to cover my 6 weeks and I have ended up needing more than that. Your boss may not be happy, but you have to take care of ourself.

Don't feel guilty. You are important and you need to do what is right for you and your family members. Be grateful that you have so much sick leave built up...you are in a wonderful position to treat yourself right and heal correctly. Don't let your emploryer pressure you...you will return a better employee when you are fully recovered!

Best Wishes

Well not to butt in on this one, but I wanted a response from you ladies too.
my LAVH was on 7/2/03. Dr says due to all the endo and problems pre-op, he suggested 4 weeks of rest ( next Wednesday ) I have decided to "TRY" to go in Monday thinking that 2 days early would not hurt. I too get exhausted, and if I do anything more than a few hours of gentle being up ( have started going out, and never have pushed it for more than 3 hours of visiting, or a small walk around the grocery store ). I have spoken to my HR dept, and they said I can try for however long I feel like I can make it, and they are ok with a partial day.
So my question is...with a desk job, no lifting, no stairs ect...does this sound like I'm pushing it? How have you others with LAVH faired with a bit less than 4 weeks recovery?
I am nervous, but at least if I can't do it all I have to say is.."sorry, I'm leaving".
Just FYI, I had a bleed at 2 weeks, trip to the ER, but have done ok since then. I take pain meds usually only at bed, but still nap once per day. Pain is minimal as long as I rest.. any imput??

Only you know how you feel. I had a TAH and BSO so I cannot exactly relate, but you do seem to be rushing it a bit. Good Luck just don't be afraid to leave if you are not feeling well. Take Care

The way I accumulated so much sick time is we get 8 days per yr. they carry over if you do not call in. Haven't really called in much in the 10 yrs I've been at work.

I too have parents that need my help a lot so, I know what you are going thru! My step-dad has early Alzhiemers and Mother has advanced degenerative disc disease and is prone to fall since a stroke last year. It sounds strange but their saving grace is that they are low income and qualified for medicaid. I never noticed I did so much for them until this surgery and I had to do nothing. They had already been receiving some homemaker services thru the division of aging prior but needed more. I spoke with their worker and they approved them for 8 hours a day so that I could actually relax a bit and not feel so overwhelmed. While I'm not an only child, I might as well be so you can really understand why I'm so thankful for the assistance. One would think that employers in the health field would be more understanding than they obviously are! My employers have been wonderful and very supportive assuring me that I am to take all the time the doctor deems neccessary. I have long since adapted the attitude, I can get another job (it might be difficult and take quite a bit of time) but I'll never get another body. I'm going to have to be in this body for a very long time, I refuse to allow someone else to abuse me to the point that I suffer now or in the future. Good thing that my employers are so understanding, it's saving me from having to cop an attitude!