my biggest fear and biggest concern

I am sure this will sound silly but....... WhenI was on the Lupron for 18 months. I have ENDO.. I finally had the best sex I have ever had. By that I mean totally pain free! My concern is am I going to lose that after the surgery? I have and my DH have been through enough of that in the 20 years of being together. Patience and understanding has run thin at times for both of us. If they do a abdominal cut does it also affect the cervix? Should have paid better attention in my Sex ed class and learned more about my body huh? I also have endo in the cul d sac that they will be removing. Will that also have a impact? As I sit here in pain ready to hurl I know I am doing the right thing. Just like to be normal for a little bit and enjoy things. Sorry just venting and feeling sorry for myself. Thanks your your ears. purple angel

Hi Purple Angel

I also HAD (hopefully I can say that now) severe endo. I had my cul de sac removed in one of my laperoscopic surgeries, and didn't really notice any difference. My pain has been so bad I haven't been able to have sex at all for the last 3 years (have tried, but the pain is enough to make me feel as though I will pass out). I am anxiously awaiting what it will be like now. My DH has said, even if I can never have sex again, he will be happy as long as I am pain free, but I don't want that to be the case. I think for most women with endo, they have pain free sex after their hyst. I am surprised you were on Lupron for 18 months - usually it is only approved for 6 months. In any case, it is usually only a temporary fix, so once you have been off the Lupron for awhile, your pain would probably come back. I will let everyone know how it goes for me when the "sex for the first time in 3 years" day comes for me!!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed.
Good luck to you.
Shelley

Thanks! I was on Lupron because I was tolerating it good enough for the Dr. And Yes I was on it above and beyond. I hope that for all of this we will both be able to have a "normal" life and enjoy it. My DH is more scared of me then anything. He is afraid of hurting me and really unsure right now with the surgery around the corner.

I hope all goes well with you!!!! take care Kim

So glad to hear from others about this. My pain was always after sex unless it was the week after my period and then it was during and after. I had hesitated to mention it to hubby until recently when we got into a BIG discussion about the lack of frequency . Needless to say trying to get the right time for sex was like landing a plane or scheduling a shuttle launch. Now hubby is worried about hurting me and is very worried about surgery. I find myself wanting sex more now prior to surgery because I know I will miss the closeness" and intimacy during my recovery. Crossing my fingers that all will be new and pain free after the surgery.

Kim

Oh lordy yes The big discussion!! I feel soooooo guilty and the pain at the same time. Quite the mess. How you hang on to them and make them happy but make it thru yourself. I have pain before, during and after. Just depends on the location of the sun and the moon at that time. I don't know. I always feel bad that the DH could have found someone normal. It helps to know I am not the only one Kim

Hello Ladies,
while I have not had to deal with endo, I did have a bit of trouble before surgery because of polyps on the cervix which hurt during intimate moments. After surgery (once I had the go ahead from the dr, ..sex was not very comfortable AT ALL - until I hit week 10. Now while I am still a bit tender at the "seam" (vaginal cuff, where the cervix used to be) it really is "just a bit" and our love life is JUST FINE.

I was really scared and upset after the first time we tried and it hurt enough for me to say- forget it!!

However, I would like to say that while we waited for some time to pass and the healing to continue, we had a different kind of intimacy, we are in a state of "anticipation", we were very playful and affectionate, and I truly believe that this was a kind of re-"getting to know" each other stage, and to slowly work up to overcoming our fears -- because as you have said, our dhs are afraid to hurt us, and we are afraid it will hurt.
I think that this phase had a lovely affect on our romance and we are actually a bit like teenagers right now.... it is quite a lot of fun.

I hope that you have just as much fun after your surgeries
best wishes,
Cheryl

The position of the moon and stars is the truth!!! It is like algebra scheduling sex for us. Hubby has some issues with performance due to post heart attack things but has a huge sex drive. I have a normal to fluctuating sex drive but have to think on where I am in my cycle and if I can tolerate the after-pain. We've beat the subject to death for hours on end...but the one thing I came out of it with was that he wouldn't trade me for the world. Whew. 14 years and counting. I can only see it getting better!

Kim

Dear Purple, Endo, Goofy, Ca and anyone else reading out posts;

While some ladies do experience some pleasure with contact ( I call it bumping) the cervix durring intercouse you really shouldn't have any decrease in satisfaction. Well, especially since it wont hurt anymore. (I can hardly wait)

Remember- This is important- no matter what happens to your body, what is removed or not removed- sex- pleasure is in your head.....I know it feels like its in the clitoris but the clitoris, or the g spot or the cervix or whatever sends signals to the brain the brain is the one who decides Yeah, Whoopee!!! or ouch.

I have known paraplegics who have orgasms from earlobe stimulation. Cool huh?

So you if you believe the cervix is important, but do not change the way you think, you may have dissappointments, or, you can think the cervix was important then but now this new form of stimulation is important. And it will be more important because, again, you aren't hurting, aren't bleeding, aren't worried that you will start bleeding after sex, etc.



Cheryl you and your honey had a great idea for re-intimazing your relationship. I hope to emmulate you. Thanks

Dilu

Hi purple angel
I had my TAH on Aug 22nd ... I had everything removed - Uterus, Cervix, tubes, and both Ovaries. I am on HRT and it's working "GREAT" The D/H and I haven't had internal Sex as of yet .. I see my Dr. tomorrow and expect to get the go ahead ...

I seen my Dr. on my 12th day post op, I asked the Dr. if Oral Sex was ok ... he smiled the D/H turned red LOL .... then the Dr. actually stood up, shook my hand *and had the biggest smile on his face ... We were all now laughing .... He gave us the go ahead wahOooo ... In my case the Orgasm was out of this world ... I think the ground under us ((Shook)) ....

That was my second fear - loseing the sexual drive ...
The 1st was ridding myself from cervical Cancer ...
((Both turned out for the better))
SEX is FAntastic ..
And my Cancer is all gone ...

I hope everything works out for you ...
One happy lady here ...
Best Wishes
Enjoli

And ladies remember, you can really improve your sex life with a little exercise: Kegeling. If you haven't tried it do. Your honey will thank you.