Advice Needed..what Do I Say???

Morning-Afternoon Ladies....Ok..what do i say when...Somebody ACTUALLY says too me "so how are you doing?" I HATE to sound negative or "sad" to people. But the truth is "i have been bEtter"....This is the 2nd time my surgery date has been changed, i realized i will NEVER carry another child again, I am having a seriuos surgery and am scared out of my MIND....i have hyster twisters..and well i dont even feel like seeing anyone. So...LOL what do i say? Do i lie and just say "oh ok"..or do i say "too be dead honest i have been better"..i Dont want too sound like a WICTH. and as we all know...people dont really understand how we are feeling. My mom called last night (i was SUPPOSE too have my surgery yestarday) and she said "whats the matter, everything ok?" UMMM NOOOOOOOOOOO! lol so what do i do? or do i just not care right now whom i get a little angry....lol..not that many people seem too care how im feelin...ANY ADVICE???
thanks AGAIN!!!
SCOTTY -XOXOXOX

p.s. How do i tell the DH too back off a tad....? he is being too nice..I KNOW CRAZY FOR ME TOO SAY RIGHT? its just that i NEED some space. Hes all kissy kissy and i love you..EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY! im not complaining. But when i go too be alone..hes RIGHT THERE! i know he cares...and i dont want too hurt him in anyway shape or form. Should i just bare and bite it. I mean hey- He may never ne this way again!! lol

surgery is scary - it seems to me your feelings are not unusual - the week before my surgery I too got quite and distant - but when people asked how I was I said "fine" I just kept telling myself and others this was going to be fine and it was - the wait is the harderst part and it is especially difficult because you were mentally prepared for one date and not have had to change it. As far as never carrying another child I can't help - I am 51 and have four children so i focused on the positive aspects like no more periods no more swollen breasts etc. hope this helps Your mental health is as important as your physical health so try to keep a positive outlook and let us know how you are.


XXX000
barbtoe
tvh/bso 9/19/03

To me if they really care about you then tell them the truth. They don't like it leave. The more you hold in the the bigger the Twister in the end. Well that would be me. I still find myself answering their question and see them get the "Glazed Look"! Then I just think Oh well at least I was able to vent and hear myself talk about it out loud instead of rambling in my head - which hurts enough as it is. Good luck! Hang in There!

and what about the one's that say "You're too young to have a hysterectomy"!
I just say..."ya know, ya cant just decide you want a hyster...something has to be wrong for the doc to recommend one"!
People can be so insensitive sometimes!
I am so glad we have each other.

I went through that for a while. I just told people I was feeling like crap (or sh*%t) that was usually enough. As for the hubby I had - sometimes still have - the same problem. Mine kept telling me how much he wanted to help me, he was ALWAYS under me feet. We had a nice long talk...I told him the biggest help would be for him to just take care of himself and I would come to him or ask him when i needed something but I had to have some space to think and be alone with my thoughts and all that was going on. It's so hard to turn them away when they are so lovey but sometimes we just need to be firm (i think they are like puppies...if we hurt their feelings they'll forget about it soon enough and be back for more)

Good luck with the hubby...I know it's tough.

I don't know how many times a week I have to call my office and tell them I am coming in late, again (!), due to my periods, my colitis, my aching ovaries, my backaches, my sleepless nights with sweating. So, often when I arrive, people ask me, with true sympathy in their eyes, "how are you feeling?". My reply:

"Just Shoot Me!"

There is no way to describe all the physical and emotional feelings we are going through when faced with this kind of a surgery. We know it will be a cure for so many ills, but we are also scared out of our wits about being "punctured". My reply usually gets a laugh out of them and tells them to back off. If I want to talk and get grossly descriptive, I pick my time, place, and "victim"!!!

good luck to you, scotty, on your upcoming surgery. Lots of hugs, and know you can always vent to us!

junie_seven

When people say, "you're too young for a hysterectomy," I'd just look at them and say, "apparently not."

s
Cat

I just read your e mail and about how your feeling I would just say "I have felt better". About your DH I just want to give you some advice about what happen to me. My DH was like that and I started pushing him away like when I was doing dishes and he was kissing me. After awhile he got tired of being pushed away and just wasn't that way anymore. When that happen you wouldn't believe how sad I felt and how I wished anything I had not pushed him away like I did. I finally got him to be that way again and I'd just drop everything now if he wanted to kiss me or my attention as I never want to feel that lonely again. There really is a big difference. Men don't seem to back down some they stop all together. At least mine did. Now when he says I love you I actually cry! Hope this advice helps. Love, ((((STITCHER))))

OHHHH YESSSS THE OLD "YOUR TOO YOUNGE" ...LOL LOL
Apparently i wasnt too younge when i had my kids...and aparently age is JUST A NUMBER! i wish i could put the faces into words that i have gotten....uggggggggg!!! Like i woke up and said "oooo im sick of aunt flo let me jump too have a hysterectomy"....O O O AND ANOTHER FAVORITE....."DO YOU HAVE TOO HAVE THE SURGERY?"...AND "YOU CANT PUT IT OFF FOR ANOTHER YEAR OR SO?",,,,,WHEWWWWWWWWWW
WHAT ARE PEOPLE THINKING???
xoxox-
scotty