no sex drive

I am 9 weeks post op from a TVH. I have no desire to have sex. I still have my ovaries so it can't be hormonal. I think it is mostly fear. My husband is very understanding but I know it must be bothering him. I am also spotting a bit today. Is all of this normal? When will I feel 'sexy' again?

Sorry to hear that your also having problems. I also am having the same problem I am 12 weeks post op today and have not sex drive or desire to have sex. I have my ovaries also. I did not have any sex drive before surgery either. Dh also seems to be pretty understanding, but it is fustrating. I was hoping that I had no sex drive before because of the pain, but looks like that is not the case because I still don't have any.

Thought about talking to GYN about this, but I have to change GYN's at the end of the year because of insurance so I am thinking of just waiting.

Sweety Tweety

My sex drive took a nose dive when I hit menopause a couple of years ago. It hasn't returned either. I tried Estratest (estrogen + testosterone), it didn't do a thing. Got off hormones completely once the big scare came out (history of blood clots and heart disease in my family). I'm 51 and have no desire whatsoever.

_______________________

TAH/BSO for big basket of

Gee Gals, I am sorry but I am only 10 days post op and cannot keep my hands off of my hubby..........He is looking really good right now and I cannot wait for the all clear to go ahead!
I do have to admit I loved sex before I had my hyst and had a very strong sex drive.....my husband loves that about me that I cannot get enough. I have PCO's and so does my sister...we talk about the hormonal imbalance (too much testosterone which often accompanies this condition) she also is very driven to have it. I am not talking every day but as much as 3 - 4 times a week.

I think past experience dictates future.
I would look into Testosterone as a way to boost the drive but heck if it doesn't bother you or your partner then leave it alone.

Good Luck

I did have a strong sex drive before the surgery. I am just a bit nausiated about anything to do with it right now. I had a miscarriage before my TVH so it could be a bit more of an emotional thing than a hormonal thing.

Oh I loved sex in my 30's ... just once I hit menopause my libido packed its bag and left the building. Did the testosterone via Estratest and it didn't do a dang thing.

lisagold

Sorry about your loss, you know just give yourself some time. I had a miscarrage (first baby) and when through a very emotional time. My hubby did not want to have sex either, we both were raw with emotions and just often would sit and hold eachother. When the time is right it will hit you like a brick and time will heal the wounds, you will Never forget the loss but you can put it in a place that allows you to move on.

All of the women who are experiencing some sort of delay in returning to what was Normal for them before the surgery should just give themselves a big break, try not to worry and relax. Haven't you heard about all the couples who tried to conceive for months and years and finally get a baby through adoption and then find out they are pregnant with their own child????!!!! It was because they RELAXED, allowed themselves to be happy and miracles happen!

Take care

Thank you for the kind words. I didn't mention that the reason for my TVH was cervical cancer. My pathology results came back good and I am clear of cancer...today. I think I just have really bad thoughts about that whole part of my body. I went from happy to be having our third child to a cancer patient who had a miscarriage and all of her 'female' parts removed. I have been so happy go lucky about the whole thing thinking that if I cried or showed any emotion about it I would scare my two small children and husband. I crashed today. I have been crying since 8 am. I guess I feel like a failure as a woman. I know it is totally irrational but well...I guess I feel totally irrational

Your feelings seem totally rational to me. Your "crashing" is a move in the right direction. You have come out of denial and are willing to face your feelings and the future. I am 48 and had a miscarriage 6 years ago without ever knowing that I was pregnant. I didn't see it as any big deal because of my age and the fact that I had 4 sons, one granddaughter and another grandson on the way. My body however saw it differently. I went through some awful physical symptoms without any identifiable cause. I had extreme fatigue that kept me in bed for months. I had heart palpitations and there were times that I would lie awake at night thinking that the angels were waiting above me in the room to take me away. I thought I was going to die and many times I felt that I wanted to because I was so incapacitated physically. I have had five miscarriages throughout my life and after the last three I have suffered major physical problems that took months to overcome. Looking back, I am sure that the hormonal imbalances played a part but I think I must have always minimized the emotional role in all of it. It is a huge loss that you are going through. Let yourself experience it as you are able and don't put up a front for those around you. They need to understand your loss too. Talking to your spouse is important and explaining to your children that mommy doesn't feel too well right now is also important. Children are much smarter and more able to deal with the truth that we give them credit for. I was told one time that you should never fear that you will tell your small child too much information because they will only absorb what they can comprehend and the rest will simply roll off their back like water on a duck. I am so sorry for your losses. I send my emphathy and love.

lisagold

So sorry to hear about the Cancer & the loss of your baby. You have to be strong, you have a husband and 2 kids with whom you are blessed and they need you. I always find if I entrench myself in daily things they take my mind of my troubles.

I also try to see the joy in small things each and every day. I have bought a bird feeder and filled it up before going in for my Hyst, I waited and watched each day for birds to come but none came. I went off for my Hyst and on the day I returned home I walked to the back doors of my huge backyard and looked out and there was a mated pair of red finches enjoying the feed. Each and every day they come to eat and I sit at the window and marvel at their beauty. When my daughter comes home from school she runs in the front door all out of breath and excited and yells " Hi Mummy" I just have to smile.

I completely understand your sadness and pain, let each day heal you and comfort you. You have friends who care about you and we are all wishing you love and speedy recovery.

Take care