Boyfriend

Hi All,

Today I wrote a letter and gave it to a friend to give to my boyfriend. It stated that I wanted my key back to my apartment. After all the stuff I have been through, I think this is the end of the road for him and I. I don't know when he will be getting the letter - I am sure sometime tonight. I just don't think any female should have to be called a bad name - which the one I am specificly talking about has 4 letters and starts with a "C". The boyfriend has some elusion (Could be Spelled Wrong) that the C word means something else, I don't know of anyone who knows it other than what it is meant to mean. I have told him but he once again called me that name and so I told him to get out of my apartment.
I still think about him but I know that I shouldn't have to put up with that kind of abuse. I do know this - when he was trying to argue with me, I was calm. The kind of calm that would make a person think. Asking for my key back isn't bothering me like it should. I am not upset or angry, I am just calm. I am going to try and go on without him, I am sure there will be days when I will miss him but I know this isn't bothering like maybe it should.

Chuckie

Wow Chuckie

Sounds like you're doing the right thing from where I'm sitting. Good on you girl for standing up for yourself. The fact that you're doing it in a 'calm' state is good too....no overwrought emotions murking the waters. You stay strong now!!!!

Chuckie, that's horrible. No woman should ever have to put up with that type of VULGAR verbal abuse. Get your key back ASAP
and please move on. I've been there/and had it done to me.
That's the primary reason i am not living together with my husband/couldn't take it anymore! Good Luck-we're with you.
And please be careful..

Tina

The "c" word is one the worst i can think of. i just cannot stand it. my older brother used to call our mom that. I have reprimanded strangers and aquantences alike for using that word in my presence.
I am sorry you are having to deal with this, but your calmness speaks volumes about this being ht eright decision for you in your heart.
I do have one suggestion. I dont know how far the abusiveness is but i recomend changing your locks, he may give his key back but it only cost 75cents at the local hardware store to have a copy made first. It is just a safety precaution, but if you intend to move on and he is not ready to this may be an issue for you.
Good Luck!

I wouldn't worry too much about the key...the can be copied at some places for under a dollar! I would just change the entire lock or have your landlord change it for you. It may cost more but it would be worth it in the end to know that he could never get into your house again.

Yes, change your locks and do everything you can to cut off contact with the person.

Any man who would use that kind of vulgar, degrading language to a woman he purports to love, is an abusive caveman.

GET AWAY!!!!

i lived in an abusive marriage to a so-called preacher for 23 years. the best thing he ever did for me was kick me out and divorce me.

YOU Are strong and your future will be wonderful.

Fluffy Lemur

I am so proud that you stick by a decision that you make! A lot of us dont do that, Im afraid...

Whenever I make a decision, whether great or small, I have a calm come over me, espically when I know that Ive made the right choice! That may be what you are feeling...

If you are with someone that treats you any less than you feel you deserve to be treated, I dont think you should take it..if more women took a stand & didnt let men bad mouth them, or hit them, etc...this world would be a better place...

If this man were already talking to you this way, theres no telling what would happen next...

I applaud your decision...I know if must have been a hard one for you...We are all here for you, should you need a friend, or to vent...

I have big shoulders, should you need one!

Have a wonderful day knowing that you are valued by me!

D'oh! This guy uses words he doesn't know the meaning of? That's a very lame excuse. It's not like he's going to go over to his boss and call him a b***tard (or worse if female a c***) because he hasn't made sure of the meaning of what he's saying.

Don't feel guilty at all if he can't even give you equal courtesy that he would show to his boss, or acquaintance, and not checking the meaning of what he's saying to you, when you know (well I hope) he wouldn't say that to someone else without checking. Of course if he wouldn't check for acquaintences or bosses either, you definately don't want him around either.

Thank you all for replying. I am having such a hard time right now. I miss him but yet I don't. Mother said I am going through a kind of a mourning. The ache is just too much.
You all are right. Being called that bad "C" name is the worst but he thinks it doesn't mean anything bad. I just wish he would asked a friend of his what it meant.
I am not handling things too good. The holidays are here and I have no one to spend them with. I have no family near me and so I will be alone. I will just have to make a day special for my cats and maybe that will help me.

Chuckie

I am so sorry that you are having this pain, but the pain is a lot easier than if you took him back & he did worse to you..I mean, what if he HIT you or worse someday...you are far better off now, noticing all the 'red flags' early on than if you waited until later...it is truly better to be safe than sorry...truly...

My brother is divorced & he is having a hard time with the upcoming holidays himself...I feel so for everyone that is alone...I wish that I could just be the best 'miss match' in the world...but thats not always the way of the world...

But I believe in fairy tales, eventhough my life has often been more of the nightmare tales...all because I went to work at Wal-Mart...thats where I met my dh...

You never know when it will happen or how...but you have to believe in it...you have to believe...

Hugs to you,where ever you are 2 nite