I want flowers and visitors, this time

Okay, this may sound silly, but here goes. I've had three kids all born just before holidays: Easter, the day before Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve. When I was at the castle for that I had almost no visitors --they all had turkeys in the oven to mind and houses to clean and got no flowers.
I am less than four weeks away from surgery and this time I want people to come visit, and send flowers to me to cheer me up. I know I'm whining,and sound needy and immature. These places are lonely and boring and having a bunch of daisies to look at will cheer me up.
Short of telling my family and friends I want to get flowers and visitors would be awesome --even if I sleep through most of the visit, is there a more subtle way to get the point across?
This is prob'ly the least of a lot of worries for some of you out there, but this is a celebration of sorts for me and a hope to a normal life (whatever normal is, it's been so long I've forgotten).
Thanks for letting me vent.
Linda

Just let your friends and family know that this is a celebration and that will hopefully give a subtle hint that you will need visitors and flowers and balloons and stuff!!

As for me, I have never been in the hospital and with all the talk about having to pass gas, I dont know if I want visitors or not!!

How about when your friends/family ask what you want for Christmas you tell them all you want is their company and support in the hospital after your surgery?

Honestly, after my surgery I didn't care to have anyone there. The first day was so bad that I just wanted to sleep. My sister did stay with me to help me get out of bed to use the bathroom, but other than that I didn't want to play hostess to anyone. As for flowers, the hospital rooms in NYC are so small that there's not room for flowers, I was glad that I didn't receive any flowers until after I was home from the hospital. It also would have been more difficult to get me AND flowers home. You might want to reconsider getting flowers in the hospital.

Best of luck with your surgery.

Mary Ellen

Linda,

I don't think it's silly. I'm still really hurt that my neighbors did nothing, my workplace did nothing, and two of my very close friends did nothing. We even pay at work to be part of the Sunshine Club, which sends cards and flowers to faculty and staff in their time of need/recovery. I want my money back!

My extended family (parents, brothers, sister) do not know I had the surgery done, but my DH and children have been wonderful to me. My best friend has also been very supportive. So...even though I get pouty about being forgotten, the ones who truly count remembered and have taken good care of me.

I must admit, I LOVED the flowers. I got 6 different ones in the hospital, and 2 more after I had gotten home. That was more than I have EVER gotten after both of my deliveries!!!!!!! It did brighten up the room and put a smile on my face. It also gave me a reason to get on the phone and talk/thank whoever sent them!!!!
However, I was in the hospital thru Thanksgiving and DID NOT want company! I kept shooing my DH off. My mom was in from out of town, and I hated playing hostess also. I was fine just sitting there drugged up watching Jerry Springer reruns!

(Aah, my server hates me, I had just typed a beautiful response and it got lost in cyber space. Maybe that means this is a bad idea...Let's try again.)

I have been stuck home bleeding since July and I had surgery in October. No one has done anything nice for me. Actually, my mom has been really good and my climbing partner comes by to check on me about once a week. But, I have a huge extended family and I live in a small town where everybody knows what's going on. I am the kind of person who loves to bake or cook things whenever a person goes through a major event, or when I know they could use the help, or just because I felt like it. It really has been bothering me lately that others don't do the same anymore. I have been mourning the sense of community that used to exist around here. It's a terrible feeling because it makes me want to stop doing things for other people! I hope that feeling goes away when I start feeling better.

When I go to the castle, it will be two hours away and I think I will be happy not to have too many visitors because I am a little vain. Plus, it would be a little crowded to have to bring home flowers in the car all that way. But, when I get home, it would be lovely to have a few phone calls, and a few gifts or maybe a lasagna. I won't count on it, but it would be nice.

Every woman is different and her support system basically has to know her really well to know what she would want. (Is there anyone close to you who could help you spread the word so that it isn't coming from you?) Since you know you want to celebrate, maybe you could send out invitations. I know that wouldn't be subtle, but it would help you get what you need. Then, you would definitely have to play hostess, but I know a lot of women spend part of the waiting time preparing goodie bags for their visitors. Or, maybe you could plan your celebration for about day four. You could ask your guests to call the person who will be driving you home to find out if you are really up to it and if the party will be at home or at the castle. You could enlist that person and a few of your other closest friends to help you host the celebration. It sound like something SARK might do. Have you ever read any of her books?

Does anyone think it wouldn't be OK to invite people to a going away party for Linda's uterus? I guess it really depends on you and your support group and how you think they would respond. It is fun to think about.

Hi Linda,
We have the same surgery date!!!

Why not take a little bouquet along with you to the hospital. It would be nice to see something pretty when you're back in your room.....even if you did bring them yourself!

Best wish on your surgery and we'll be for you!

	Quote:
Originally posted by LindaVan Okay, this may sound silly, but here goes. I've had three kids all born just before holidays: Easter, the day before Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve. When I was at the castle for that I had almost no visitors --they all had turkeys in the oven to mind and houses to clean and got no flowers. I am less than four weeks away from surgery and this time I want people to come visit, and send flowers to me to cheer me up. I know I'm whining,and sound needy and immature. These places are lonely and boring and having a bunch of daisies to look at will cheer me up. Short of telling my family and friends I want to get flowers and visitors would be awesome --even if I sleep through most of the visit, is there a more subtle way to get the point across? This is prob'ly the least of a lot of worries for some of you out there, but this is a celebration of sorts for me and a hope to a normal life (whatever normal is, it's been so long I've forgotten). Thanks for letting me vent. Linda

To my pre-op sisters,

Excuse me for being a little insensetive, I am four months post op. Please remember 3 important things as your request visitors and flowers,

1. You will most likely have a roomate. Your room will be quite small (and hot) to begin with. Your best bet is to hope and pray your roomate will be considerate of your privacy and space. You may be able to request a private room for a nominal fee ahead of time if one is available. I was laying in my hospital bed at 8:30 pm being stared at by two strange men who were visiting my roomate, not fun.

2. Your nurses will be EXTREMELY busy, you will be nauseas and or vomiting, have an IV which always seems to be running out , a cathedar, a morphine pump etc.

3. There is most likely barely enough room for your cup of water/soda and tissues, there will be no room for flowers. It took 6 hours for my pre-op clothes and shoes to make it to my post op room.

The nurses will have you (and your roomate) urinate in plastic (hat) buckets and measure the output, is that something you want to explain and share with your visitors.


I too had visions of "General Hospital" were I would have aspacious room, I would meet my future best friend in the next bed and we would bond over our experience while wearing chiffon. The nurses would wile away the day being supportive and pampering me. NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

Your trip to the hospital for GYN surgery is a low priority medical treatment, they will get you in, do the surgery and take care of you the best they can in the 24 to 48 hours your insurance pays for with the staff they have. Your priority should be to help them make their job as easy as possible, being ready for your care when they have the time. My roomate had a parade of visitors and often missed out on care because the nurses moved on to the next patient because there was a crowd of loved ones on her side of the room. She would then start paging the minute they left and lay there moaning for 30 minutes.

Few of us are in the hospital more than 2 days, save the flowers, the candy and the reunions with loved ones once you are home. You will only need one person you can count on to patiently sit by the bed as your nod on and off, help with the vomiting, get your cold wash cloths, hold your drink for you and show up promptly when the Dr says you can go home.

Sorry to be bold, just had to put in my two cents.

Adrift,

You said it perfectly!!

When I was in the hospital in September for my myomectomy I was in for four days, I had a room to myself the entire time, so I had plenty of space to spread out (although I didn't have much to "spread") When I came out of my surgery and was wheeled up to my room the nurse pointed to some flowers I received while I was in surgery, they were across the room on the window ledge, I just mumbled that I didn't have my glasses on and couldn't see them. LOL It wasn't until the next day that I really got to see them, they were beautiful and I did appreciate them. I went home that day after having two visitors bring me balloons and a small statue of a fairy. I wasn't in any pain and walked out on my own, so it wasn't difficult to leave with my bag of clothes, flowers and balloons. I truly cannot imagine having to worry about all that stuff when I had my hyst. Luckily nobody sent me flowers in the hospital after my hyst. I shared a room with another woman, there was no room for extra baggage. The day I got home I began receiving flowers, I received several arrangements over the next couple of days and I loved them all, and by then I was feeling more with it and able to enjoy them.

My neighbor also had a lot of visitors, the curtain that went around my bed wasn't very wide, so when the doc came to check me we had trouble giving me enough privacy and one of my roommates visitors got a view of me as he walked by. I was glad to have a limited number of visitors, I really wasn't up to them. I was happy to walk the halls alone and watch some TV.

We're all different, you have to decide what's best for you, but just be prepared for small rooms without much room.

Ohhhh the best thing my dad did for me was to bring a couple of 8x10 pictures of my nieces. He put them up on the wall, they had this thing to slip cards into and he slipped the pictures into it. I thought he was silly at first, but I enjoyed having them there to look at, made me feel more at home.

Best of luck with your upcoming surgery!

Mary Ellen