Offended at Candor -at first

I came home from the Dr. last week with the information that I need my ovary removed and advised that a full hysterectomy was best. In my search for more information on the internet I found this site. I had a lot of emotions going through me and was greatly offended at the candor with which so many used. The idea of a "sisterhood" of women who had to have their organs removed was not one in which I wanted to be a proud member. I had another appointment today and had to make the decision of just how much I wanted removed. I made it with tears and a lot of pain. I've spent much time on this site again today and my husband and I have found a lot of valuable information from your members. I am grateful for your help.

One thing I am clinging to is the hope of having more energy and feeling better. I am not a weak person and have been so ashamed for the past year of my fatigue and pain and irritability. My husband and I read of so many women experiencing the same symptoms and it has reassured him "that I'm not going crazy!", and (me too).

Again, thanks for the help.

JFSelmoKay

Welcome to the forum.

You're right, it is a somewhat strange "sisterhood" at first, but isn't what we're going through pretty strange in itself? I think it's wonderful that we can share our fears and triumphs, and ask questions of the very people who know the answers from experience, not theoretical knowledge. I have found, in the six days since I was told I needed a hysterectomy, that by talking to other women, in person and by phone, and by reading on this site, that many women feel this operation was the best solution -- the common thread I hear is "don't look back" and that once the pain was over, that the solution was wonderful.
I hope I can find this, too. Talk to people, if you can --- and if you can't, you have lots of company here. It takes some time to get used to the idea that you're going to have surgery (I'm just working on that) but women are great copers!

Hi JFSelmoKay,

Welcome to Hyster Sisters. While I'm sorry that you are facing surgery, I am glad that you found HS, came back, read some more, and posted to introduce yourself.

I'm sorry that you were initially offended, because Kathy created this site as a way for all women who are going through this major, life-changing surgery, to be able to connect with each other, and to support and comfort one another. I found HS on the very night before my surgery, a night when I was feeling so very alone and scared. I felt so much better after staying up most of the night reading posts and learning more of what to expect.

And unless your doctor was recommending a hysterectomy because of a life-threatening reason, I'd like to encourage you to obtain at least one more opinion (if you haven't already) before making the final decision to have your uterus removed. There may be a less-drastic procedure that will be a viable alternative for you.

In the meantime, please be sure to read the Pre-Op Hints and the Post-Op Hints. They are full of great advice that will help you to prepare for surgery and recovery, if that is your ultimate decision.

I hope you'll continue to read and to post any questions that you may have - we'll do our best to help.

's

Hi ((((JFSelmoKay)))) and Welcome to Hyster Sisters I'm so happy you found us and decided to come back and introduce yourself: you'll find out that this is, truly, a wonderful site where you'll find support (tons of it), information you can actually use and even a few s and words of

I'm so sorry that this decision to have a hysterectomy is such a heart-wrenching one for you. I would also encourage you to seek out a second, even a third opinion, if only to gain a little peace of mind.

When I first scheduled my hyst, in September 2000, I felt soooo overwhelmed and soooo alone: neither my mom, nor my sister have ever had to go through this. And, while I knew some women who had had a hyst, I found that I wasn't quite comfortable with their quick "best thing I ever did", simply because I wasn't sure it would necessarily be the best thing for me. Thankfully, I found this wonderful site the day before I scheduled my hyst and, to me, it truly was like finding thousands of sisters who knew just what I was going through. You see, Hyster Sisters is not a sisterhood celebreting hysterectomies: if you read this mission of the site, you'll notice that the following is stated, very clearly:

	Quote:
...The Hyster Sisters site is neither anti-hyst nor pro-hyst, rather, it is an online community of women who give and receive support for hysterectomy decisions and recovery...

And this is true: we are neither pro-hyst, nor anti-hyst... we're all about "Women helping Women"... the best way we know how... through supporting each other through what can be a very traumatic time.

Wishing you the best of luck. Please know that we'll be with you every step of the way, regardless of your decision.

I understand how, in your emotional pain, you might be offended by the candor found in this site. I, however, am so greatful for the [sometimes] blunt honesty I read in these forums. In an age when we're afraid to say what we really think for fear of offending someone, it's actually quite settling to read the frankness expressed here, because some of us have never been exposed to anything like a hysterectomy before. To find out out-of-the-blue like you did, and I did too, and not knowing even the first thing about all the different types, the choices one can make, the reasons, risks, and outcomes that occur...I don't have time for any politically correct answers to some very serious questions that I didn't even know I had. Glad you're feeling better about it all. I've made 3 replies now to different forums, and I'm already beginning to feel at home! ~Susan

Thank you all so much for your encouragement. The information I am finding here is invaluable. My husband and I had a good laugh when I read some of the advise about "what to take with you to the hospital" and such. I guess I was just going to walk into the hospital like an ordinary appointment, no bag, no nothing! And I think I was thinking that I'd just come home and take it easy for a few days and not do any heavy lifting for awhile. I didn't realize I might need recuperation time in bed! Ha!
I'm not scheduled for surgery until Feb. 13th, so I'll have plenty of time to prepare now with your help!

Again, thank you.

Linda

Hi Linda,

I too am so glad you found this web-site. I know what you mean about the candor on some of the forums, but lets face it...many men don't have the answers (they have never been where you are - and never will be) many doctors are too clinical and seemingly uncaring at times, but women understand women.

You will find you have many, many questions as your surgery date draws nearer, and you will have just as many after the surgery. This site is a wealth of information that is available 24 hours per day (what a blessing when you cannot sleep at night and your mind is racing with unanswered concerns). You may come to a point where you have a question that you may consider insignificant, or silly, or even stupid...ASK IT ANYWAY!! It sets your mind at ease, and someone else was wondering the same thing, but too afraid to ask. That's what these ladies are here for.

We do not take the place of your physician when it comes to advice, we only offer our experience as each of our surgeries is unique, yet similar. I'm glad you "came back". We are here to help and encourage you through each step of YOUR journey.

Best wishes,
AP