not ready to go back to work....

I am now 6 weeks post-op, SAH/RSO. My doc gave me the clear but I don't want to go back.

I still get tired easily and now that the nerves are starting to come back I get nice shock waves of pain. I know physically I am ready to go back to work but mentally I want to stay home.

Moral is very low at my office and I just don't want to be a part of it anymore. I liked the stay at home mom thing and want to continue it.

Is it wrong for me to not want to go back to work??

Is it wrong to wish to be laid off so I can go back to school and get a career I like??

I wanted to take another few weeks off but hubby says it won't be any easier to go back then..........I want to run away!!!

Help me my sisters, tell me I am not nuts!!!

You are definitely not nuts! From what I've read on these boards for the past few months, it's not at all uncommon for women to update their resumes and look for new jobs and new careers.

This has been a time for you to totally reassess your life; it's probably the first time that you've been able to really do that. Could you ease back into your job, maybe doing 1/2 days for the next couple of weeks? How about enrolling in a college course that will help you start on the path to a career that you really want? If you're financially able, maybe you could enroll in school full-time?

By the way, do we work together? : ) Just kidding, but while I'm off, I intend to brush up my resume and go on some interviews. Last minute inconsideration (prior to surgery) on my company's part led me to that decision.

You're not nuts; you're body is just reacting to how your heart feels. Listen to it, and hopefully it will lead you in the right direction! Good luck to you!

Hi Melissa,


You are definitely not nuts !!! I am 5 1/2 weeks post op and the last few weeks have brought on new, annoying, tingling, tender belly pains and more swelling. I would not be ready to go back to work at 6 weeks ( I'm fortunate that my leave from work was for 8 weeks). I think its a frustrating time ( the period of 5-8 weeks out) We are still healing, yet everyone feels we should be okay by now.

Take care,

Lisa

SAH 12/11/03 (fibroids and adenomyosis)

Hi Melissa!

No - you are not nuts.
I don't want to go back either. I'm enjoying my time at home and my DDs kind of like it too.
I'm 5 weeks post-op and am at the in-between stage. Most of the time I feel good and have been back to some mild exercising. But I do have some days where I'm just soooo tired it takes all my energy to get out of bed. I see my doctor on Tuesday and I'm sure that she's going to give the okay to return to work since my job entails working on a computer all day.
However...I'm going to ask her to not release me until my full 8 weeks is up. I feel that I still need the extra time to mentally prepare myself to return. I want to prepare at MY pace, not what my company thinks it should be. If it were up to them, I would have been back to work after the first week. Also, my job involves travel and my boss has already told me that they are going to send me out on the road the week after I return. I want to make sure that I'm up to it.

I'm sure that there are a lot of other women out there that feel the same as we do.
If only I could win the lotto....

Amen!!!!!!!

AMEN Sister !!!

I am 5 1/2 weeks post op TAH and I go to the doctor on Wednesday of this week. I am sure that I will be released. I feel pretty good, but I am still tender in one area of my abdomen. My goal is to find a career that I can work from my home. I am currently taking some real estate courses.

God bless you, and don't over do it.

I am 8 weeks post-op today and started back to work at 6 weeks. I don't know how your system works in your job, but it is better to wait to return when you aren't already back to work then to return and find it was too early.

Case in point, I returned at 6 weeks because I seemed okay and in returning to work, my EI ended. It wasn't two days into work that I began feeling pain enough that I had to take pain killers to finish my days. But now, to take more time off would mean two weeks of no pay at all (have no medical leave or sick days to fall back on) before I could even get the 55% of a weeks wages that EI might give me. That would cost me my home as the weeks right after the hysterectomy has already depleted my resources to fall back on plus put me in a bit of debt.

Now my days off are recovery days as it is taking more than 24 hours for the swelling to go down and the burning in my stomach, groin and down my legs isn't fading much yet almostr 48 hours since I last worked. I do have my doctor's appointment tomorrow and you can be sure I will talk to him about it. I don't know what good it will do though, there still isn't money to make up for what I can't get if I take time off. Had I stayed off work longer, and gotten an okay from my doctor, my EI would have continued and I would not be in this place. But now I can only fight to keep doing as I am and make sure I can get all the support I possibly can at work.

In ways, this is more scary financially then the surgery itself as during that time I could give my body the time it needed to heal. I do worry about what I am doing to my body, but right now, don't have any alternatives. If you haven't started back, find out your alternatives. It is much easier to delay a return to work then to deal with this.

I guess I was lucky .. those I talked to before my surgery emphasized that I should take the full 8 weeks. The doctor did not even ask. They automatically wrote my paperwork as the longest I would be out. It actually worked out to 8 1/2 weeks. I was definitely not ready to go back and I like my job and surroundings. It's just the fact that I had to give up being paid to stay home and relax and actually go back to work.

I also did have some discomfort when I returned .. but I'm sure it was not anywhere near someone's discomfort who returned at 4 or 6 weeks.

So, even if you like your job and those around you .. it is still extremely difficult to return to work after that long a time off.

Best of luck to all ..

You are not nuts. I am almost 5 weeks post op...12-18-2003 TVH.
I went back to work yesterday for half days only. I dreaded....I mean dreaded it. From your description I believe your job is very similar to mine. I was so cranky this past weekend knowing I had to go back to work.
My boss has been ok, not great about all this. When I told her I was having surgery she compared it to her c-section and her face lift!!!!!!! WHATEVER!!! I have to bite my tongue when that topic comes up. Like I said...WHATEVER!!!!
She wanted me back after a week and can't believe that I am taking so long to heal. I know it has been a strain on her since I am her only employee, but there are temp agencies....I did work alone while she recovered from her face lift.
I want to STAY home so bad!!!. It really gives you a different look on life especially your job. I dread next week when I will be working 8 hours. I am so tired after a half a day that I am sure I will be drained working a full day.
I wish you the best of luck and remember that allot of us feel the same way and we need to make a change!!! I so so so understand how you feel.
Take care

I am just past six weeks. While talking to my doctor, We agreed that I was not ready to go back. My job is a lot of heavy lifting, very physical job. I still have no stamina and get tired very easily.
When I went out on short term disablity, I warned them that I probably would be out eight weeks. My DR's office called last week and gave them the information. ( My job has no light duty, and does not want you back until ready to resume normal duty).
They are still deciding wheather or not to pay me. It has been nearly a week since they got their information. It sure does not take them a week to decide to take it out of my check. It is not like I have not been paying into them for 15 years incase somethink like this happened. I hate insurance companies.