Hysterectomy - no children?

Hi Ladies

My hyst is scheduled for 3/16. I'm 34 with no children - been with my husband for almost 5 years but never tried to get pregnant (he has 3 kids from a previous relationship) and then started to suffer with problems 3 months after I met him. After lots of soul-searching decided to go for hyst as all other treatments not working and I felt like I was only buying time and delaying the inevitable. Had enough of the constant pain and not having a life.

I always thought like most people: get married, have children and now that's not going to happen.

I am imagining waking up after my op and thinking I've made a terrible mistake. I do like babies but I wouldn't say I was particularly maternal and I don't have much patience with kids. I've made the decision not to try IVF - I'm just not strong enough. I suppose I'm just sorry that my choice is now going to be taken away from me. One consultant I saw asked me "what if you change your mind in 5 years?" I felt like screaming "I don't HAVE 5 years!" The ironic thing would be that when I recover from the hyst and I'm off zoladex/hrt I'll feel wonderful and then I'll think "hey, I would really like a child!" but then it'll be too late ...

Are any of you facing this dilemma?

Thank you

I regret the day I got a tubal ligation and probably will until the day I die. I wouldn't like to see you have the same regrets. You have been through a lot of pain already, so you probably really are strong enough for IVF. Maternal feelings come with the panic when they hand you the baby and wheel you out the door. I got more advice with my new car. Go figure. The flip side, I have a child with autism and most days think I will lose my mind. Life was so so much easier before children. I have my hyst in 6 days and am very sad, but pain free will be good. And adoption is always and option. Maybe it was meant to be.

Sugar Kane,

I've been where you are and had the same dilema. I am 30 years old, and I had my hysto December 18, 2003. My husband and I will be married 12 years in June.
We tried for 8 years with no success and I finally accepted the fact that we would have no children of our own. Maybe we weren't meant to. Maybe we're supposed to adopt someday. I don't know. We'll know when the time is right.
It was difficult, but I'll tell ya, I feel so much better. It's nice to not have any pain. It's also wonderful to be able to have intercourse and not hurt.
Good luck and keep in touch!!!

Dorinda

Tracy,

I'm having a hyst. for the same exact reasons you are considering it. Endo, Adeno and constant pain. It took me a long time to make this decision, and lately I've been in a bit of a panic. I have so long to wait!

I'm 31 and divorced and while I thought that if I met the right one, I might want to have another baby (mine are 13 and 11 now). But the pain every day is just too much and I would be so grateful to get rid of it. I guess I'm just scared of all the "what if's" and they can drive you crazy. I just wish my surgery was sooner - I have another 3 1/2 - 4 months to wait and everyday I am on this site reading and researching and scaring myself half to death!

It's very normal for you to be feeling the way you do. It's a huge decision and in the end, you have to do what is right for you and your situation.

Have you tried Lupron? It didn't work very well for me, although the side effects weren't as bad as I expected, it didn't help much with the pain. Maybe you can look into that first? Or try continuous birth control pills?

I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do. I understand.