Sharing Thoughts, Sharing My Heart.

It is hard to believe that tomorrow I will know about my own visit to the Castle. I am thankful that I have been able to share my heart with you as I weaved through a mountain of emotions in the process of making my decision. I wondered if I would ever feel anything more than overwhelmed when I first found out about my doctor's recommendations for LAVH. I am thankful that tomorrow I will be able to share my decision with my doctor. My doctor is very concerned about my proceeding with surgery because our dear son is only six months old. It is a huge consideration I know, but I truly believe that God has his hand on both of our children and is watching over them each day. She would prefer that he was one year old at least, but said that ultimately it is my choice. We never thought that we could ever have children (experienced a period of infertility) and I have always believed that nothing happens without a reason. I don't believe that I would have been brought to this point with my doctor if I wasn't supposed to have the operation. It will be immensely difficult to be away from my family and in hospital, but I don't think that different timing could ever change that. My children need a strong and healthy Mom. When I think about having a better quality of life, I wish my surgery was yesterday. I hope and pray that my doctor will be responsive to my heart, to what I feel, and that a day of surgery will be determined very soon.I have a lot of fears about the surgery and I hope that in sharing some of those tomorrow with my doctor that I may feel some release. I have compiled a list of questions also. I hope that tomorrow at this same time I will be one step closer to the Castle, and to the life that I dream about for myself and my family. I am scared yet I am very hopeful.

Sorry, I just thought I should add...my doctor is concerned about our son only being 6 months old because she is worried about something happening in this critical "first year" of his life. It is an impossible thing to even think about, but I respect her for talking with us about it. I know she isn't trying to frighten me she just really really cares and wants me to be sure and at peace with my decision. That's where I am turning towards God to keep our children safe in His arms...because I don't know what tomorrow may bring. This truly is one of the most difficult decisions I have made. I remember my Granny always said to me when I was feeling scared about something, "Let go and Let God." I am going to have to do just that.

Dear Blessings, will keep you in my heart and prayers....my mom used to tell me "if God brings you to it, he will bring you through it." It sounds like your children have a wonderful mommy, and you have a very good dr, and that is important!
God Bless You, please let us know how you are doing when you come home.

S.

With an attitude like yours.........you will be fine.
I truly believe a person must take care of their self or they are no good to anyone else.
You are in my prayers. Let us know how you do.
Sharon

Bless your heart! You have a very strong faith, and that will help you through. Your little one is blessed to have such a great mommy. You know, he won't remember you being gone this time to the castle, but he will know a strong healthy mommy when he looks back one day. You are doing this for your kids too. It's sometimes easier to have these type of things happen when they are younger, before they know to question and worry about the details. You will miss your wee ones for sure, but God will be babysitting them and also holding your hand. What an amazing God he is to be able to do that! How happy you will all be to be together again and on The Road to Recovery!