DH all of a sudden acting like a jerk!!

Hi Ladies, DH is all of a sudden just been cruel. He had been so supportive. I got my authorization papers and wanted to talk to him about it. It has me pretty upset. You know, you see them, now it is real! Anyway, I had also gpt my bowel prep faxed to me and I have to do a 48 hour liquid diet. I am not happy because that means no food on Easter and I am supposed to have my dad over, and my son who is 10 is looking forward to it. So, I went outside to pout... alone.
He comes out and asks me what is wrong, I told him, and started crying. He gets MAD!!! Tells me to get over it! That adults don't get upset over things like hysters and not being able to eat on Easter!
I want to punch him. I don't even want to look at him!

I have been really supportive of him. I can't imagine how this must hurt especially since we have been dealing with IF for over 8 years and are now at the end.
I need him. My only support is my DH and dad. My mom and sister are useless and I really have no girl friends.
I feel so broken. I just want to hide. He is pushing me away and it isn't like I have time to let all this blow over. I need support now! Do I sound selfish? I am so confused.
Carrie

Please don't feel alone, we are all here for each other. You are not being selfish. I am here if you just want to talk. Please just know that we are all here.

i had my tah/bso on 10th feb 04, knew for some time this was on the cards and dh was very supportive but as soon as i received addmision date he became very withdrawn and unsupportive after talking things through he admitted to being petrified and scared of something going wrong maybee your dh is feeling the same and this is his way of dealing with things try and talk things through with him but remember you will always have support from the sisters

Of course you aren't being selfish! It's a lot to handle for you and you want your DH to be there to help you through it all. Now that he has to deal with the DD and her situation, maybe that's more than he can deal with and he doesn't know how to act. Maybe he'll realize how insensitive his comments were when he's had time to think it over. Any chance you could have your Easter dinner a day earlier so you could all enjoy it?

Come here to vent any time you need to.

That's a great idea--have Easter on Saturday. Don't know your belief system, but if you're Catholic you would be allowed an early Easter due to impending surgery. You could check with your priest to be sure.

I'm so sorry to hear about the 18 year old. That is tough no matter what. Just when you need your DH he's distracted.

We're on your side. Let us know what you're able to arrange. I think an early Easter would at least be worth considering, to me.

Ladies thank you, I feel better reading your posts. I am so glad and thankful for each and EVERYONE of the sisters here!
Easter Saturday...it is a thought! Not Catholic (used to be) just a humble believer now. But I know God would understand. Great advice LadyBroughton and April Dawn.
Thank you all!!
I am going to have a well needed glass of vino now.
Bless you all!
Carrie

Hey, great idea! Me too!

Hi Carrie,

Sorry to hear that your BP is going to interfere with Easter plans. Hopefully you'll have a chance to talk things over with your DH, and hopefully he'll come around!



Ack, I'd forgotten that I go in right after Easter weekend, too. I wonder if I'll have the same situation... I won't know what I'm supposed to do until I go to my pre-op on the 6th...

:dragon:

Carrie,

I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. I'll just bet, though, that DH is having fears and feelings similar to yours. Not only is it feeling more "real" to you, but he's got to face that it's "real" as well. My DBF is so cranky and ornery when he's worried about something. Men often seem to feel that they aren't allowed to let their fears show, so it comes out in ways that anger us. Sometimes I think that makes it easier for them....isn't it easier to get mad than to leave yourself open by showing your feelings?

Why don't you have a quiet evening together, just the two of you, to discuss your fears and feelings? Explain how important it is for you to be able to depend on his support right now. Make sure he realizes just how big an impact a hyster makes on not just any woman, but how big an impact it is making on YOU!!

Hang in there. I'm sure he'll come 'round before long.
s
Cat

You might be able to write a letter to him. Let your feelings all flow out that way. Sometimes it is easier. Wait a while to give it to him because you might put something down that you might change your mind on.

Just to give him the benefit of the doubt, he is probably scared to death. He is afraid of losing you. He has probably talked to a buddy and has been told negative stuff or that it is a breeze to go through and things that you shouldn't be showing emotions. Let him know that this is about you, not anyone else.

You are not being selfish. Don't dare think that.

We are all here for you. Many prayers your way!!!

Tonja