Tired of bad advice!

When my husband mentioned to his boss that he would need to take some time off work in December for my surgery, his boss (who is foreign and very suspicious of doctors) told him I should definitely go to this great doctor his wife had found. She had "cysts" and her first doctor had recommended a hysterectomy. He prescribed a change in "diet" and "supplements" and the cysts went away. He is sure I could have similar results!! Well, I have fibroids, very heavy bleeding, anemia, and after 4 years of dealing with this I am scheduled for my hysterectomy on December 12. I have worked this through and considered all the options. I am very comfortable with my decision, and so was my husband (until this!)He thinks there may be something to this supplement idea! I am trying to remain upbeat without screaming at others who JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! Just wanted to vent to you sisters, who do understand!! Thanks to all you wonderful sisters I have a place to do that! I get so much out of these boards, bless you all!!

Granted, there is nothing wrong with trying "supplements", if you are willing to do so. It is your body, and you are the one that has to live through the pain, the bleeding, the discomfort, etc. that goes along with this condition. I agree with you, that until someone else goes through what you are going through, its kind of difficult to accept their advise on a subject they are unfamiliar with. Its hard to describe the pain, the emotions, the fear, and everything else, to someone that can't relate. it is easy for other people to "diagnose" or give what they believe helpful advise. But they don't have to live with the symptoms and sometimes the consequenses of postponing the ineveitable. I am happy for those that have researched and opted for an alternative "cure" , but in return, they should be supportive and happy for our decision to go ahead with the surgery. Whether they agree with it or not...it's not their decision to make...until it happens to them.

Stick with what you feel is best for you in the long run.. and if you are comfortable with alternatives, and want to give it a try...go for it, and good luck...but always remember that no matter what, you are the decision maker when it comes to your life and your body...no one else...and if it means having a hysterectomy? Well, you have thousands of hystersisters here to love you and welcome you!

Be strong, and good luck!

It really does not matter what worked for his wife. It only matters what works for you. Think about it. You have been probably avoiding a recommended hysterectomy for all four years of anemia, bleeding and other problems. You have tried a zillion things, no doubt.

I have avoided a hysterectomy for five years. That means I have been having serious bleeding and have been anemic [often one point above transfusion] for five years. I don't remember what feeling normal or feeling energetic is. I only know how to "push" though the days.

I don't know about you, but I am real tired of being tired. I am real tired of trying stuff that does not work for me....over the counter, alternative, and western medicine. I have tried whatever I could try. Heck, I am tired from trying!

You decide. Hold your ground. If you want to try one more thing, go ahead. If you don't want to try one more thing, then don't. And don't feel guilty about it. It is YOUR body.

Terry

I agree with Terry. I think we are suffering a backlash from the days when a hysterectomy was performed immediately, with no thought given to alternatives. Now, it's like a crime to have one! Plus, in these days of managed care, everyone is trying to keep costs down, so hysterectomies are discouraged.
I, too, put off the inevitable for reasons that seem silly now. The recovery can be difficult, but I'm so happy to be free of the organs that were literally draining the life out of me.
I took every supplement you can imagine, had acupuncture and every other "alternative" treatment. It was like putting a bandaid on a broken bone. Those methods are appropriate in many cases, but not when you're suffering with the kinds of things you have mentioned.
When I add up all the days a month I was losing due to pain -- I would have lost a whole year of my life if I had let this continue another 10 years.
When they did take everything out, they realized how diseased my organs had become. This was not found through ultrasounds, MRIs or even laparoscopies.
You know in your heart when it's time. Trust that instinct.

Scarlet,
I'm sorry that your DH's boss feels that way! It really irks me when others, who probably only have an INKLING of what you are going through, decide they know what's best for you.

I have a dear friend (fortunately female), who has been recommending books about natural healing and who REALLY wanted me to try acupuncture for my fibroids and endo. While I'm open to alternative treatments, what she didn't know is that I'd made up my mind before I ever told her. I had done tons of research and talked with a number of doctors over the last 5+ years. Their well-intentioned intrusion discounts all of the research you've done and the consultations with your physicians. Your husband's boss probably doesn't want to have to do without him for the time he'll need to be gone. But he has NO WAY of knowing about the similarities or differences between you and his wife and the unique problems and symptoms that each of you are/were dealing with.

What bothered me even more was the feeling that I had to justify my decision!!! My close friends know a little about my symptoms, but I don't bog them down with the day-to-day details, because they're too gross!! My DH doesn't even know every detail of my monthly pains! I had to take a semester off from grad school to do this, and I found myself explaining that acupuncture would have to come out of my own pocket, and if it didn't work, I'd have to drop out of my grad program (or re-apply) -- they'll only let me take one semester off.....ANYWAY -- I digress! You don't owe ANYONE an explanation. And I think they owe you respect in your decision, with assumptions that you and your physician have visited alternatives and arrived at this decision as the best available alternative for you and your unique situation. We are ALL unique!

Okay....down girl.....I'm off my soap box. Sorry! Well, I'm now on my 17th day post-op, and very glad I did this!!!!
Grneyzzz is right. It is YOUR body and YOU must make the final decision in what treatment options are best for YOU!
You are not in this to please anyone!

I wish you the very best of luck as you go through this process!!! It's a difficult one! And what they say is sooo very true -- the waiting IS the hardest part!!!!
Hugs and warm wishes!!
Cheryl

And another thing...
Fibroids don't just go away like cysts can (even on their own). Ask your doctor about that. It's like comparing apples and oranges.

Scarlett, I know exactly what you mean: when I mentionned that a hyst was the best alternative for my condition (at the time it was only fibroids, now it's fibroids with rectocele), my sister immediately said to look at the other options. I happen to trust my doctor. I simply know that I'm fed up with the bleeding, the "things" falling out of my body and, now, the almost constant pain. And I also know that I don't want to go through one surgery only to have it not succeed or to have the condition reappear in a few months, even a few years. Don't get me wrong, I'm not critizing those who look for other options. I'm simply saying that, where I'm concerned, enough is enough.

I was also faced with the same types of issues where my son is concerned. He has ADHD and is on a multi-disciplinary treatment program. Among other things, this involves medication. Well, she told me that this medication is addictive (my research, which has been intensive, shows the opposite) and that supplements work (again, my research shows that the supplements are not effective for his condition only for conditions that mimic his).

why can't people accept that we have, in fact, done our research and opted for the best, informed decision for US and ours??

scarlett, you poor thing! i've always wondered why people have to butt in to other peoples lives? i have a real problem when non medical people, or people who have no clue what it is like,give their two cents! what's up with that?i had a male neighbor say to me(he overheard his wife and i talking) "why are you getting those things ripped out of your body? my mom had it when she was your age and hasn't been right since! i think it ages a woman more quickly too!" well thanks alot! i'm glad he's not my husband! stick to your guns. you'll feel better that way! good luck.

cay
liw 11-7-00 laser lap/vag hyst and left ovary removal

Scarlett-
Arm yourself with "definitions", sit down and talk to DH. Tell him the difference first of all between cysts and fibroids. Secondly, tell him that they are both men, neither with a medical degree so how could they know what's best for you? Tell him you appreciate that he cares enough to try and find alternatives for you instead of major surgery, but make it clear that this is the best decision for you and you have made it, end of discussion.
I am not an herbal person. There is alot of controversy around it and I have seen first hand how destructive even herbs can be if you do not know what you are doing. (co-worker mixed a bunch of stuff together that shouldn't have been and it enlarged her liver and spleen, she was out of work for over 4 months!)
I'm glad you are confident with your decision. A hyster was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It's no picnic, but it's better than living with those dreadful periods every single month!

Scarlett,
Stick with the plans you have!! I would really question that guy's judgement and motives. Is he saying that you should do otherwise cause of your hubby may be out of work? He needs to understand that everyone one's situation is different. With that bleeding,you really need to make sure it is not something else and without going in they can't say for sure. I am up for surgery on 12/11 after 3 years of off and on problems including fibroids, pain, polyps and bleeding. The doctors did other things but the problems kept coming back. If you waited that long then probably you need surgical intervention. I guess cysts can go away- or burst- but his wife's case may be different. And your hubby should tell him that. Tell you hubby that your situation is different. Good luck and remember YOU alone can decide what is best for you.