PTSD in Castle

Hi sisters, I don't know if there's anything anyone can do to help, maybe I just need someone to express my thoughts too. As a result of childhood sexual, physical, and verbal abuse I was left with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Severe Trauma, Mild Depression, and Anxiety. I sometimes kick and scream while sleeping ( due to PTSD) and I don't want this to happen during the surgery or during my stay at the castle. My DR's are aware of this and I have been on antidepressants for years. I also have anti-anxiety med. if I need it prescribed by my therapist. I am a Survivor and am fine most of the time, but I have to admit this upcoming surgery hit me like a ton of bricks. I am out of my comfort zone right now. I am used to taking care of everyone around me. I am a child advocate, author/speaker on child sexual abuse issues, and sometimes accept invitations to speak to women survivors. I don't feel like I have any of that strenth in me now, and I feel alone. I would love to have a mother right now to hold me (guess I'm a big baby at 47) and just let me cry. But I can't as she was part of my past. I am not strong, people around me think I am, but I'm not. Now I just don't want to make a fool of myself at the castle. Thank's for letting me vent. You ladies have been a God Send for me!

Hi Deanna
I don't have any answers for you, but I'm here to listen

I think you need a

Can you take your anti-anxiety meds to the castle with you in case you need it? I'm taking mine!!!! Although I plan to be in a lovely morphine-induced haze for at least the first 24 hours!

You are stronger than you think.

love
Tam

Please don't take any meds of any kind with you to the castle unless your doctor specifically tells you to...but do have a very frank discussion with your surgeon about this; no doubt you can have the nursing staff provide the appropriate medications that will not interact with anethesia and pain meds you'll be receiving. You must not take anything that isn't handed to you by a nurse. Mixing your own meds with those given by your doctor can cause your blood pressure to drop to dangerously low levels. I've seen it happen and it's not fun at all.

The nursing staff are professionals. Trust me, we've seen it all and are able to handle anything that arises. We've seen people who are drug and alcohol dependent after surgery and that is something we are trained to handle, so you should not have any anxiety about what will happen. My recommendation is to deal with all of this up front with your surgeon so that everything is in place to prevent this from being a problem for you.

I wish you a very uneventful and speedy recovery!

I did discuss these problems with the surgeon a week ago and he didn't seemed at all concerned. He did tell me to bring my medications to the castle with me, turn then over to them, and they would take care of what I needed. He said if I have heart palpatations brought on by anxiety I could not be in a better place for it to happen. I felt so much more relaxed after visiting with him about it. My surgery on 4-5-04 was cancelled on 4-4-04 and rescheduled for 4-19-04 and I think it's just giving me more time to get all worked up again. I will ask for something to relax me in pre-op before they take me into surgery.

Maribel is absolutely right.
In my experience, there's nothing I could really do that would really surprise the nurses. I've been lucky in that the hospital I go to has the most wonderful caring nursing staff I have ever encountered. Even if I just needed someone to hold my hand while I was in a panic, they were there.

They do know how to deal with severe anxiety, and if the doc knows ahead of time, he can write in your chart what type of meds you can have if you do feel an attack coming on.

I know its' hard, but know that you are in good hands. In a few weeks when I'm spazzing out....I hope you guys are all here to calm me down.

love and s
Tam

Thank you Northlights and Maribel, you have calmed my fears more than you know! The support here is amazing and I am blessed to have found you guys!!!!! I will absolutely be here to help calm you down in a few weeks If ya need it, anytime. I liked the word spazzing out, Northlights!!! That's exactly what I've been doing and I have just got to GET A GRIP!!!!!This all will be over soon

Deanna,

Have you thought of this? Of course you know you are a survivor. What you may not have realized is how strong you will indeed be able to be for yourself when the actual time comes!

I believe the devil is the "author" of all fear. I know the devil doesn't want me well, etc., but God does. So though I struggle with my own fears of anesthesia, etc., I need to draw on my faith for this. In the end, as afraid as I still remain, I know the Lord will be there in my time of need. It's the devil that tries to work his worries and what-if's? on me now and I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

Just a third-party observation, but it seems to me that a woman so strong for others , who consistently blesses others by bringing them strength and encouragement, will herself be provided with strength and comfort during her (your!) time of need.

Rather than worry and what-if? about what you think may happen (so, so hard I know, I struggle myself and have not lived your life or struggled with PTSD), try to draw on your faith in God and also remember that the blessings you have given away will return to you many times over during your time of need. If you believe in God, remember you are promised this very thing in the word of God.

Fondly,
Meg

At the castle stay they will be very careful with you. I want to thank you because my husband age 35 told me he was molested as a teenager by his boy scout leader. I have been rap myself but got over it, he tends to still hang on to the fear around people. I sorry at you age it still affects you, your post had opened my eyes to how much it still affects my husband. YOu and he are strong people and I will be thinking and praying for you. I would ask the doc to keep you on your aniexty meds from now till the surgery is over with. May God Bless you and Happy Easter. Aloha ELlie