Its not over yet

I had my vaginal fistula repair done on 3/25. I did have some leaking but the surgeon said he was 99.9% sure that the surgery took. Today I went for my cystogram - and as they filled my bladder up with dye - I started leaking all over the table. Last night I had started leaking as well - even though I have a foley cath in. The Dr. that did the cystogram said that there was still a hole. I was devastated. I went right to my surgeons office with the xray results and he said that there is a hole. Apparently what happened is after I got home from the hosptital - I had the supra cath. One night I had extreme pressure where I could not walk - I lied down and when I woke up I was soaking wet. I went to the surgeons office the next day and he found that the supra cath had gotten clogged. The surgeon now says that when that happened - a result of all the pressure was that it popped out my stitches from the repair surgery. The surgeon is leaving the foley cath in for another week but he wants me to prepare for the reality that I will have to under go another surgery - I have had 2 major surgerys in the past 2 months. I feel hopeless - and have been crying all day - why me? It has been so hard these past 2 surgerys and now facing another one - I don't know how I am going to get through this.

(((((dawnbuster))))) I'm so sorry you are facing this awful possibility! These things can happen, but that doesn't make it any easier to take when it's you that it happens to. We have had a couple of ladies who have had similar experiences... hopefully one of them will stop by here soon to help.

Just one question, are you on estrogen? How about vaginal estrogen? Making sure your vaginal tissues are getting enough estrogen is one way to help repairs heal properly and quickly. That might be something to ask your DR about at your next appointment.

I know what you mean about not wanting to face another surgery. Sometimes I have felt like I've already used up all my patience, pain tolerance, healing abilities etc on the last one and now here they come with one more! I hope that either you don't have to have another surgery, or if you do, that it is successfull and finds you leak free soon.
s,
-Linda

I am so sad to hear that you are facing another surgery because your repair failed. It is not your fault in any way and I know it seems like you can't bear to have another surgery-but you'll get through it!

I was so devastated that I might be facing a third surgery (this time for a bladder that has herniated) that I wouldn't even go see my dr for a while- because it's just not fair is it? These things just happen and we have to deal with them the best we can.

Don't expect too much of yourself right now, take a day to scream at the walls if it makes you feel better! You will come to terms with what needs to be done and you'll get through it. We're here to help in any way we can.

Lots of hugs and best wishes for you!


Louise

Hi Dawn,

I am sooooo sorry to hear you have to have more surgery. I had my abdominal repair on the 15th of March after a failed vaginal repair last May. This time the Uro said he would give me a supra cath, but when I woke up from the op I only had a foley. The Uro said that due to the position of the fistula, if he had put in a supra, it could have become blocked because they are only very small, in which case it would have 'blown' the surgery and reopened the fistula. It sounds like this is exactly what has happened to you, and must be a complication of the surgery. I know that probably doesn't make you feel any better, and I wish I could say more to help.

However, I do know how desperate I felt when I started leaking again and was told I would need the abdominal surgery to fix it. The Uro said he would not touch it vaginally again as the failure rate is higher. I was hysterical all the way home and, very silly, drove home on the freeway crying all the way, it is a miracle I didn't have an accident. I have been down to the depths of despair in this past year, and waited 5 months wearing incontinence pads before the abdominal repair. I know how depressed you will feel but it is so good to share with family and have a big cry whenever you need to. And there will be many times you will need to! But I am now almost 4 weeks post-op of the abdominal repair and I still cannot believe that the operation that was so anticipated/ dreaded/ terrified of/ and finally looked forward to... is finally behind me and I am on the DRY side of the road.

There is an end to it, but unfortunately some of us have a long road to travel before we get there. I really feel for you Dawn, please keep us posted regularly as to how you are coping.

Blossom

Hi Dawn,
I just wanted to give you somes s , I will keep you in my prayers.

God bless you

Dawnbuster,

I was so sorry to hear your news - my thoughts are with you.

XXXX

Dear dawnbuster,

I have not suffered from the same affliction you have, but I have over and over suffered pain and endless treatments -- hope and despair, hope and despair. My heart breaks to hear you in such pain. I would take it away if I could. Please know that you are not alone. I know it seems endless, but there is an end to all things. God has put you here in this very place you stand, and knows your sufferings, and he has not abandoned you. You are not alone.

Please know and believe that you are loved beyond anything you can imagine, and while it is always a question near to those in such desperate circumstances, "Why?" you may not hear an answer, or receive healing the first time you ask, but it will come, please have faith it will come. It may be that someone will be on this board next year, asking the same question, "Why me?" and you can say, "I don't know, but you will survive. You will never be given more than you can handle. And you are not alone. Let me hold your hand."

I love you, all the sisters traveling this Road are with you, you will be OK, and even more, you will be stronger than you ever dreamed you could be.

In light,
Loretta