Anyone else feel guilty????

I am sure this post is going to bring alot of response--but I am completely serious!!!

I feel so guilty that I have these health issues! I don't know what it is like to have anyone wait on me! I am not a taker--having been raised to be the martyr and wait totally on the male population and young ones. I know it really isn't the way life should be, BUT I feel sooooo guilty that I have to be down. I don't feel comfortable at all knowing everything that needs to be done both on the job and at home. Runs in the family--my sister had TAH years ago and found out someone was bringing dinner so she scrubbed her kitchen floor the minute she got home from the hospital!

Every time I read these posts I start to cry, wondering how I am going to handle someone having to wait on me! Do you think my hormones could be adding to my distress with the situation????

I feel guilty in a different kind of way. I don't have children at home anymore. I do feel guilty about looking forward to being away from work.

I know this isn't a vacation but my oh my, the thought of staying home for 6 weeks thrills me!

Just to look at the view, smell the roses, etc will be awesome. So I feel guilty about enjoying that while my coworkers pick up the slack.

I say try to relax and enjoy the attention -

you deserve it!!

Yes, yes, yes, yes! I have lots of guilt and I worry about how my husband will have to take care of me and I HATE having to be looked after! I fell down the stairs and broke my hand and had a cast for what seemed like forever and he had to help me do everything. I tried hard to be a good patient, but I can't stand being helpless and needing to be waited on. I am used to being the one to take care of others. I am used to being the one taking care of the home. I feel all kinds of guilt that he will work hard all day at his job and then have to come home and take care of me.

I also feel so guilty that my husband got stuck with a wife that has such a train wreck of a body. I feel guilty that he has to miss work to take me to appointments and he misses sleep. I feel like a complete nuisance and so worthless it isn't even funny. Believe me, I can completely relate to your feelings of guilt and we don't even have kids to take care of.

s for you!

I think alot of us can relate. One of the best things I did was hire a housekeeper. She comes once a week (4 teens plus 2 golden retrievers = Much dust and hair) so there isn't any housework for my gang to do. And since I pay her I don't have the guilt of watching others or my husband do all of "my" work after a long day in the office. That only left the dishwasher chores and laundry..you can sit and fold when ready. Meals were brought the first week (we canceled the next 2 weeks...guilt cause I felt good) then ate easy prep stuff or went out. Kids prefered that anyway! If your budget allows, the housekeeper really helps....even every 2 weeks is enough to keep the toothpaste splatters under control. I never had to sit around looking and dust bunnies, frustrated that I couldn't tackle them. If you can't hire someone, you'll be able to pitch in with small stuff soon enough...just leave the big jobs to the ones who care enough to take over. It may be better to give than recieve......but that means we need to give someone else a chance to bless us every now and then!

I feel it too. It's mostly that I feel like lost in Canada....my body is a train wreck. I feel as though I should have done something to prevent all this. I know that is not logical, considering none of this is my fault. But I do feel guilty that I did not demand that my docs do something about this when I was in my early 20's. If they had removed some of the endo then, Maybe I wouldn't have all the adhesions and stuff now.

Do I feel guilty about having someone take care of me? Nope, not one bit. My DH knows full well that I'd do the same for him. I took care of him through a severe back injury and knee surgery so now it's his turn.

Work????? nope not guilty about that either. I work with occupational health professionals, so they understand. They were the ones who pushed me to not wait until the fall to have my hyst. They have my best interest at heart, and they just want me to get well.


Tam

I know exactly how you feel, my mom came over the day after my attempted ablation and she cleaned the house i tried like hell to get up and help i felt horribly guilty. I dont know how I will manage being out of commission so long. I think we are all so used to being the one in charge and the one who takes care of everything that when we are not doing what we should do and have people help us we feel guilty.

Heather

Guilt??? Oh yeah--I am taking the maximum allowed by my company and yet not lose my position. My short-term disability insurance is only going to pay thru mid May. I feel guilty because I have put co-workers in a bind but then--I worked when I shouldn't have. I put them off with saying 'I could be feeling bad at home NOT getting paid or come into work feeling bad and get paid'. I have worked with a heating pad plugged in and down my pants (that was before Thermacare came along), on Demerol/Percocet/Lortab/Naproxen--you name it!!! I have sent them more than one card telling them that I am sorry about taking the time but that this time is for ME!!! Believe it or not, most of them understand. When I told them I had a date--they were all saying 'It's about time'!!! I feel bad because I am using the system/putting my co-workers out a bit but I have worked when I was on my last legs--this time is for me. It all seems like a dream for me right now anyway. Do what is right for you--I am fortunate to have an understanding gyno that told the hubby--'You have a tough gal here'
Take care of yourself

Edna

Well Sweetd, you knew you would get a lot of responses but did you know you'd get alot of understanding too?

I too have always been the nurturer in the family. I work a fulltime job, volunteer, have 3 kids and still take care of most of the housework. My DH does work long hours and occasionally helps but usually he considers all the outside work his and leaves the inside junk for me. I'm going to have to work like a dog at work in order to clean things up by my TAH in June but fortunatly I work at my Castle so everyone knows my situation.

My biggest guilt is going to be the kids while I'm gone. I'm gonna worry about them every moment I'm awake....I hope I sleep alot!

Guilt isn't it such a nasty thing? I feel guilty that I have to be away from work so long and that it will make everyone elses life less enjoyable. I feel guility that my poor dh will have to do it all as we have no children to help out. My sweet dh keeps telling me to just stop thinking that way, but being the control freak I am it is so hard to imagine giving up that control. I feel guilty that I have really had little pain with my troubles and so many of you ladies have suffered. You have to understand I am such a type A personalilty. Heck I apologize when the weather is bad But guilt is not a healty thing and we all need to look at this experience as a positive one so we all can heal fast and rid ourselves of it.

One more thing. I feel guilty because I should spell check before I submit a post....geez my High School English teacher would have a fit. Sorry about the spelling, grammer etc. Told you I was anal.