Christmas dinner...AHHH

I have my surgery scheduled for December 22, 2000. I always do Christmas Eve dinner with DH and his family. THEN, Christmas day I cook for my family. The problem is, is that my husbands family wants to come Christmas eve for supper regardless of me having surgery. AHHHH! I told then I won't be up to cooking a meal and they said they just want to visit. Not sure how friendly I'll be 2 days after surgery. They really won't take no for an answer, SO I guess they'll be over. I really don't want them to come. How can I get it across that I DON'T want company. Oh, and let me add that my mother-in law NEVER lifts a finger while she's over...HELP.!

I hate to tell you, but I wasn't even HOME until 3.5 days after my surgery! You didn't say what type of surgery you were having, but if it's abdominal, you may not be there on Christmas Eve. Even if I had been home that soon, there is NO WAY I would have allowed company. I was extremely uncomfortable and exhausted, and the effort of sitting up and "visiting" would have been WAY too much! I would ask your husband's assistance in explaining to his family that you will not be up to visiting with anyone. If they insist on coming over anyway, then I would just stay in the bedroom with the door closed and sleep, read or watch TV. I hope they can understand that this is MAJOR surgery, and that they have to respect your needs and wishes. Good luck!

Hi, and welcome. My dr. told me to expect to be in the hospital for 4 days, so depending on what you are having done, it would be probable that you will still be in the hospital, excuse me, at the Castle. If you know for a certainty that you will be home, you can tell her that you have been advised against having visitors that soon, that you are on complete bedrest. I would also tell her that you look forward to seeing her when you are feeling better/rested, and that it would be fine if she would like to give you a call when you get settled in, or that your dh will call and let them know how you are doing. Hope this helps. Let us know how it goes. {{{hugs}}}

if you are having a tah then you may want to talk to your doctor about what is going on and see if he will just make sure you are in the hospital that day! Or may be just dicharge you that afternoon. May be that would keep them at bay!

just an I will keep you in my prayers that is not going to be fun having an operation that close to christmas

((hugs))


bye

While I agree with the others that you may not even be home from the castle on X-Mas Eve, I just wanted to relate a little advanture of my own:

In 1993, after a car accident, I ended in the hospital, day after my dh's 40th birthday, having a miscarriage. That evening, I had an emergency D&C and was sent home the next morning. VERY minor surgery, was only out for 10 minutes or so, etc. Granted, I was still week from the blood-loss and from the accident, three weeks before.

That Sunday, the same day I was released from the hospital, was the day we were celebrating dh's coming of age. Hey, 40 IS something to brag about . It was too late to stop the celebrations. Everybody was pitching in and, at the time, there were only 3 kids, all between the ages of 2 and 3.5. No big deal, right?

Wrong!!! By the time everyone left, I was exhausted, and very sore :'(. I simply had overdone it.

Now an hyster, even a TVH or LASH, is a MAJOR surgery. It is the removal of an organ. Your in-laws will just have to understand this. I know: MIL had a TVH 30 years ago and she is a woman who heals very fast. I'm having a TAH/BSO with Rectocele repair. I'm not a healer. I'm having to tell her, constantly, that I won't be able to do much for a few weeks.

Now is the time to be firm. By the way, I won't be much help for X-Mas either, since my surgery is on Dec. 14th.

I am having a TVH for those that asked. In Canada, where I'm from, a hysterectomy is only DAY surgery. You only spend approx. 7 hours in the hospital. Doctors here believe that you'll heal better at home. Not really sure how happy I am about that...

Thanks to all that gave me some VERY helpful hints..

Tracy

Dear Tracy,

Just wanted to relate my immediate post-TVH experience for you: Uneventful surgery at 8:30 a.m... back to my room for sleeping and more sleeping. I did wake up long enough to enjoy some wonderful BROTH for lunch, & tentative walk to bathroom to try out the bladder.

My DH sat in my room watching TV most of afternoon while I was (what else?) sleeping. Dinner included a jello square that fell off my spoon into my cleavage when I (what else?) FELL ASLEEP in the middle of my gourmet hospital meal. DH took it upon himself to fish the lost jello outta there... lol.

Later, I found myself dozing off in the middle of my own sentences when talking on the phone. After an uneventful night in the hospital, I was home in time for lunch the next day. My post-op aches & pains were just sorty crampy to me, but I spent a LOTTA time sleeping the first few days (did I mention that? LOL)... My brain was foggy & I had a very short attention span.

Tracy, don't worry about your inlaws coming over... your good recovery is more important right now. Just leave on your bathrobe & slippers & snooze thru the whole thing. You can blame it on the anesthesia later

Sending cyberhugs,
[Edited by Twysmilng on 11-10-2000]

I wish you the best when it is your turn to be crowned!

No matter how long you stay in the castle, that really doesn't change the fact that your body has to heal...and that is going to take a long time. You may already know that you aren't going to feel like having visitors. But, people think that by showing up, they are helping you out... supporting you. However, by making sure your DH knows that when you are asleep, you don't want anyone in the room, and establishing those "rules" prior to your surgery, you might just "fall asleep" during their visit!
That gives you a way out of the situation, without hurting anyone's feelings. I agree, that Christmas Eve is a family time, but in the long run, your healing time is more important.

God Bless and good luck!

[quote]Originally posted by Twysmilng
[b]Dear Tracy,

My DH sat in my room watching TV most of afternoon while I was (what else?) sleeping. Dinner included a jello square that fell off my spoon into my cleavage when I (what else?) FELL ASLEEP in the middle of my gourmet hospital meal. DH took it upon himself to fish the lost jello outta there... lol.

ROFLOL!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing your Jello experience, I really needed a laugh today.

Not out of meanness but out of care for yourself :
1)DO NOT make a meal. If they insist on coming, let them bring a meal with them, or tell DH to order chinese or pizza, or better yet have DH open a can of soup.

2) IF you cannot physically keep them from coming, go to bed and if necessary "sleep". Get my gist. Isolate yourself in your home. And DH sould limit how long they come.
Good luck......possibly you'll enjoy their visit more than you expect but they should indeed be more considerate. They probalby mean well but are not really considering how you will feel.