I'm having a mental/emotional meltdown!!

Hi all. First, let me say what a godsend this site is. I don't even want to think about what I would be like without it. I'm having a TAH/BSO with removal of multiple adhesions on 11/29. When I first found out I was so excited I could hardly stand it. Now, I'm usually a very strong person but the closer it gets, especially this week, all I seem to be doing is crying and freaking out. Not sleeping well. I want the surgery.....badly.....but this waiting is killing me. I don't think it helps that I have 12 people coming to stay in my house over Thanksgiving until 2 days before I go to the castle. I don't think I can handle it. I'm not good at accepting help at all......or opening my mouth about my feelings.......and when I finally do, I hurt my husbands feelings because he is a very family oriented person and wants his relatives to come be with us over Thanksgiving so I cry even harder. I don't want to have to worry about putting on a happy face and entertaining everyone. I'm a person that sometimes just needs my space and I'm sure that week especially I will want some me time but where do you go with all those people around?? How do you possibly get everything done you need to when you know your going to be out of commission for 6 weeks or so? AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!! Calgon take me away!!! How do I make my husband understand how I feel?

LeAnn: I know what you are feeling. I have surgery tomorrow and, believe me, there has not been much else on my mind. Hey, maybe all of those relatives will help divert your attention. Just think though, at Christmas time this gives us an out on doing much because even if we are feeling up to it, no one will know unless we tell them. I plan on milking this hyst for all it is worth. I figure it is my time to enjoy the holidays. I have done most of my shopping but what is left, I will just send dh out to get it. I have always wanted to be a man at Christmas time and this is my chance. Hey, give those relatives chores to do on Thanksgiving. It will make them feel needed and take some pressure off of you. Take care.

Leann- you are not alone! I went through the same thing the weeks before my surgery. My DH decided to go on a ten day business trip to London arriving home two days before my due date. I was okay till he left. It was as if my usual strong self disappeared after he left. I was crying and upset and nervous. I had a major meltdown five days before in front of my two teens. They were shocked. I was shocked. Then I started daily posts with this site. What a godsend! By the time he got home, I was still freaky, but better. But, I found keeping busy was the best thing before. I made sure the day before I did things for me. As for the holiday, just let everyone help! And then smile to know that the family will have lots of leftover food when you are not there! I made sure I just told everyone before hand how I was nervous, and apoligized before I snapped at anyone. Don't worry about what isn't done before you go in. When you get those calls after, keep a pad next to your bed, and give the people who offer help the jobs needed to be done. It really helped to show my DH how nervous I was. I made my DH come with me to my preop oppointment at my gyn and hospital. The light finally came on. I also printed up the info from this web site about what the princess can and can not do when she returns from the castle. It is still on the refridge. I bought the book and read aloud. Hang in there. The family will survive. Keep reading the posts and know it will soon be over and you will be on the road to recovery! Good luck to you too, trisaB!

I also understand what you mean LeAnn and Im not going in until Dec.7. WoW thats alot of people to put on that happy face for. Remember to give yourself as meny breaks as you can, and not just breaks from the crowd but also give you self a break if you not 100%. You know what I mean. Try not to be too hard on your self, there will be meny more hollidays for you to be there 100%.
Ilove the spin you put on it tricia, I have to remember your philosophy. Why can't we be selfcentre just for a little while with out all the guilt and knowledge that we just let down everyone and everything.
I shouldn't complain, My dh is taking off three weeks after I get out, but not knowing if this is a good thing or not.
Well I guess only time will tell.
Sherrall

Leann i know exactly how you feel! My surgery is dec. 1st one minute i'm fine and the other i'm a nervous wreck and bouncin all over the placeI can't wait for my surgery, i know i'm doing the right thing. You are absoulutly right the waiting drives you nuts! When i had my lap done i just cool as cucumber. But now forget it I don't sleep well these days either. I also cry very easily' i noticed that my feelings are hurt alot easier.This year i'm the same way just plain not in the mood. You should let some of the company help out i'm sure if they know how your feeling they would be glad to help I know what you mean about some me time i very rarely get cause of three kids my youngest is 3 and she constantly wants mommy, really sometimes i get so frustrated with her and snappy and i'v never been like that. I know it just nerves and all the waiting. But i found coming to the hystersisters has been a great comfort even if all i do is read.I'm right with you we are pretty close in date hang in there!
Colette
TAH for andenomyosis enlarged uterus Pain ect.. DEC. 1st

girl, i know exactly what you mean... my big day is 12/5. last week i was just nervous and for the past 2 days i have been an awful grump. my 3 and 6 year olds make me crazy, work gives me stress and then theres everything else. i'm not usually this way, i like to think of my self as a kick back kind of person but lately i don't know if i should scream and pull my hair out or if i should just lock myself in the dark and cry. my doc thinks that i'm having anxiety hum, i wonder why. sometimes we don't realize all of the stress we are carrying around until we finally can't take it anymore and just break down, i'm sorry your feeling this way but i so know what your talking about. i would love to chat with you more my email is nocluegirl@hotmail.com please drop me a line, i need someone to talk with as much as you do, lets help eachother, after all thats what hystersisters is all about.! go take a hot bath light a few candles and try to relax, thats where i'm headed. love nocluegirl

I know exactly how you feel too. Some parts of the day I am fine, but then I just come unglued. I feel like I am losing control, getting very "snippy" over stupid things and just seem overly sensitive. We just moved (Thursday) and I am sure part of it is I am exhausted from the whole process (we still have stuff at the old house to shlepp over but my DH is doing a lot of that). Then I find out that the people the builder hired to clean the house before we moved in put some sort of cleaning solvent on some of the floors and potentially wrecked the finish so I cannot unpack my breakfronts and buffet before Thanksgiving if they don't figure out how to fix the floor before then. I wanted everything to be done before my brother and his wife (who is 7 months pregnant) come to stay with us for Thanksgiving. Well, I am giving up and we will eat in the kitchen. Normally this would not bother me AT ALL, but for some reason I am totally crazed.

The waiting is horrible. It has turned me into someone I am not. December 5th cannot come soon enough (but, I have to get all the Christmas shopping done before that .... I have a 6 and 9 year old). What do I get my 9 year old girl ??? For some reasons she has me stumped. My son is easy-- hot wheels, legos, anything motorized....

Thanks for letting me unleash a little frustration. Gosh, it sure helps knowing I am not alone in all of this.

And, as far as help is concerned, I have already asked my sister in law to help me finish Christmas shopping and put up the tree while they are here. I know I cannot get all this done by myself. I still have mega box unpacking to do before the relatives come. I am starting to see my limitations. We cannot do it "ALL" !

Hang in there everybody.