sensation during sex (bit graphic)

I've never been one to experience orgasms without external stimulation either, but hey, one way or another, it works!
I've been back to having sex for about 4 weeks. I was quite nervous at first, almost felt like a virgin again! I had been experiencing some discomfort during sex for some time before the surgery so wasn't really sure what to expect. Its been good, including almost normal orgasms. They seem to be very varying though, i.e. sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker, sometimes faster/slower, etc. I think it may take a while to get back to normal. I also find that I do still have some discomfort with full penetration (maybe cause hubby is fairly well endowed...I'm lucky!). He said he feels a difference, and likes it, that it feels tighter. (I have had 3 large babies!). I wonder about not feeling my orgasms in my uterus anymore, guess I didn't really realize before that I felt them there. I kept my cervix, so was a little surprised that things would be different at all.
Anyway, I still feel a little nervous, and that things are still settling down. I think the benefits of not being a slave to heavy periods is going to have far reaching benefits, including an energetic, painfree, spontaneous, worryfree sex life. Its just going to take a little time recover and to completely relax.

_________________________
freedom46
LSH Mar 12/04 - kept ovaries and uterus

Well since we're divulging our most innermost secrets ..
I've never been able to have an orgasm from penetration alone .. in fact the only way I can have an orgasm is with a vibrator. And those things are so loud and with kids in the house (one time my oldest son knocked on the door and thought he heard an airplane!) we don't use the vibrator much .. hardly at all. So DH gets to have all the fun .. I still get aroused and enjoy myself but no "Big O" unless a vibrator is involved.
Darn.
My DH is also very quick on the draw, if you know what I mean.
Anyhow, I had lots and lots of repairs so no sex for at least 9 weeks post-op. I want to get a motel (have the kids stay with relatives) for our first big moment .. and use the vibrator .. and am curious to see how things are without a uterus and cervix.
I always read about women who have orgasms every time they have sex .. I wonder if we're all just built a little different?

Arborkat, you're killing me! Rolling on the floor----AIRPLANE!! HA!

I must admit, I have had my "interludes" where I thought DH was going to stuff a sock in my mouth for all the noise I was making!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL !!!!

We've done a little "outercourse" and I've tried to keep him happy (you know what I mean *blush*), but I am nervous about the actual deed. I hope it just a good as ever.

By the way, Sam12345, have you tried a K-Y lubricant? No harm in a little help, and they have that new one that "warms up"....just a thought. I may get some of that for our first try. May help with the nervous part, too.

My 6-week mark is a couple of days before his 40th birthday. I was wondering what I was going to get him........hmmmm. A new nighty (for me, not him lol), a bottle of champagne, strawberries, candles, and a bottle of K-Y Jelly...an idea is forming here........let's see, oh yes: a ribbon around my waist. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!!

My Sisters, I don't know what I'd do without you! So funny...

I am 5 1/2 weeks post op TAH BSO, cleared for sex last week.

Engaged in some mutual and solo stimulation prior to clearance.

The first experience of penetration was not painful, my hubby said it didn't feel any different, but neither of us climaxed although it was pleasurable. I think there was so much anticipation and expectation attached to being allowed the full experience (no pun intended) that we couldn't relax.

Ladeedah I guess the previous remark was meant as a caution for you You might want to just plan on "testing the equipment" on the first try and make fancy preparations for your second sex interlude so you can relax.

I had erotic fantasies about what I would want to do when the time came - kinda like when you are on a diet that allows you to "save up" calories and you spend the whole week imagining what delectable treats you will "spend" those calories on LOL Nothing was going to ever be as good as those fantasies. I could have written a few novels with all the imagination I was using on them.

arborkat: I've never used a vibrator, but I've been thinking about how many things it could sound like for a kid and ROFL!!

That reminds me: I watched an awful short movie where this guy hears a sound in the next hotel room and imagines this lovely woman using a vibrator in all sorts of interesting ways (ok, it was supposed to be erotic but was just stupid). He hears it when he follows her to some ancient ruins, and when she's in the ladies room at a restaurant. At the end he finds out she is using a breast pump because she has a premie at the hospital.

In a way I am enjoying this brief obsession I am having with sex, since I wasn't much interested before!! But I am also looking forward to having my life get back into balance, though, since I did have other interests before this surgery (except when pain slowed me down).

HI Sam -

I was curious about the same thing. I am now 6th week post op from a TAV removing cervix and both ovaries and hubby really wanted to try to stimulate me last night. I have always been an outside stimulator so that wasn't much of a problem. He has been pushing to do the "deed" but I still insisted in waiting for the doctors release this week. Can't he wait 4 more days! LIke a little kid "can we open our gifts early??". Anyways I did reach the big "O" last night but it felt weird. It wasn't the same feeling as before were it was contractions from deep inside it was much lower, quick, and I felt it all the way through my legs to my feet like the nerves came alive. It wasn't the normal feeling of my big "O". It was the first time I hope it gets better, it wasn't bad but it wasn't the same so i was a little sad last night. Any thoughts sisters or do I just get used to it???? I did have a lot of painful sex before my surgery because of the enlarged uterus and ovaries so I am still waiting to see how that feels.

Shoot, after that terribly long post, I forgot to mention the thing that I planned on saying.

I had experienced the big O (when I experienced it) as both external and internal. That is to say, I felt uterine contractions and pleasurable rhythmic sensations from my more external genitalia. (Trying to sound less crass)

I don't have that uterine thing anymore, and clitoral stimulation feels pleasurable but not quite "O" so I started reading about the "g" spot. You have to sift through a lot of disgusting "adult" website listings when you search, but there are a few good ones as well as some books. (picture me sitting at the Barnes and Noble trying to skim through books about "it" without anyone seeing what I was reading.... I should have brought a magazine and put the book on that.... wait, I think it usually goes the other way round...)

It took some time, but I think I figured out where that spot (more like area) is, and it was kinda like the missing link. Regular intercourse does not always stimulate it, you have to be aware of where you feel pleasure and sort of shift sometimes to get the right effect.

Okay, that's enough. I keep hoping no one I know recognizes me when I am talking about this publicly.

Good luck

Thanks so much my outspoken sisters! I wish I had found this thread during those first worrisome pre-op, pre-decision days.

During my two-week post-op check-up, I told my doctor that my orgasms had changed over the past couple of months and that I wondered if it was because my poor old uterus was too enlarged and full of fibroids to contract any more. She just muttered something about changes at menopause---since medical and laypeople have been blaming my various problems (including knee pain!) on menopause for the past 13 years, and since my periods came like clockwork until the month before the 25+ fibroids were found, this answer did not impress me. Several of you mentioned a difference, an inside vs. outside sort of feeling with orgasm. I think maybe I was experiencing that pre-op, so that might be part of the "new me" of my post-hysterectomy sexuality. DH & I had a lovely time kissing, etc. without intercourse this weekend. Three weeks to go. . .

I, too, am a "good vibes" girl. I've been close to orgasm with intercourse, but I can't always tell if I've really climaxed no matter what kind of stimulation is going on. During our 28 years as lovers, my DH and I have been through so many physical and mental changes in our sex-lives, we've started having a "let's see what the good news/bad news is this time" attitude.

Thanks again! Your sharing sure helps me!

I'm still waiting for my op, and for the first time I am having second thoughts. I feel very sad at the thought of loosing the ability to have internal as well as external orgasms. I really feel quite depressed now. My sex life hasn't been up to much for the past couple of years due to my dh having an alcohol problem. Things are now looking up in the relationship and now this. I'm sorry if I sound selfish but I am just so sad. I had originally asked for a mysescopy to deal with the fibroids, then after reading sisters experiences from this site thought that maybe the total hysterectomy might not be so bad. The gyni wants to do this anyway. Now I don't know what to do. I'm very upset.

Pauline, I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time with this decision. There are lots of Sisters who have ridden the emotional rollercoaster--both before and after the surgery.

I know that I am much happier now than I was before. The pain and profuse bleeding is no longer part of my life. FREEDOM!!!!

Please evaluate all the reasons on both sides of your internal debate. You need to able to handle this emotionally and physically. And remember: This is YOUR decision. Not your doctor's. You are in control, even though sometimes it feels like everything is spiralling away.

I too, can understand the difficulties of having a spouse that is a substance abuser. My first husband killed our marriage with his cocaine addiction. I stayed for 7 extra years after I found out where all his paycheck was going (I thought it was my duty to save him).........I can imagine what you are going through, and I'm glad there's a note of "hope" in your post. Hope is a great thing.

I HOPE you think your options over and decide what's right for you, right now in your life. God bless you.

Pauline,

I'm so sorry that you're worried. I, too, went through feelings about having just gotten our love making back to being good after a time of lots of stress and distraction. That's part of what I meant when I said we'd been through lots of physical and mental changes.

I'm a little sad about the change that I expect in my orgasms (losing the sensation of uterine contraction). However, I figured that was already happening anyway before my operation, so I decided to get surgery now while the procedure could be done vaginally. I reasoned that waiting would give the fibroids time to get bigger and maybe I'd need an abodminal incision. Also, I was getting fatigued from blood loss and my prolapse was pretty bad. Even though I'm only 2 1/2 weeks post-op, I generally feel better than pre-op and, of course, overall wellbeing is a major part of sexual happiness.

Why does your doc want to do a hysterectomy instead of just removing growths? How many of the other procedure has your doc done? If not very many, is there someone else you can go to?

Keep gathering information and don't call yourself selfish for wanting to experience the joy that is offered us on this earth.

Good luck!