No big deal...

Can anyone tell me how to deal with familys attitude of "it's not big deal". I'm going for surgery next week and my doctor and friends who have had the surgery say to 'not push it'. Other family members are telling me to push myself. I have decided to let my body heal properly and not push myself. But what do I say to these in-sensistive family members. I wish I could just not talk to them for 2 months. p.s. luckily my DH is a wonderful caring person.

No, it is not a big deal, it is a MAJOR DEAL!!!!!! Luckly your husband is not acting that way. I would be tempted to tell them if they think it is not a big deal, to schedule a surgery soon, so they can experience it... lol any surgery is a big deal, and you have to take care of yourself afterwards, and rest..... Don't worry about how they see it, just concentrate on resting, and getting yourself better...........


Clarissa
5/19 TAH/BSO

Everyone heals in different ways. But you really can't push it with this type of surgery. Your body will tell you to rest, rest, rest.

I am 10 days post op and am feeling much better, but I know this is the time to still be a little princess, if I overdue it I could have a setback. I certainly don't want that.

Take it easy, and do what your doc suggests. They have been there done that, and will hopefully give you sound advice.

My doc told me I could not bend or lift for the first week, I could be a passenger in the car on week 2 and stay out for either dinner or a movie but not both. By week 3 I should be well enough to drive, but probably not back to work until weeks 4 or 5.

Good luck to you.

I too had some family and co-workers that said things like thousands of women have this surgery every year, so what's the big deal. I like you searched the sight and found this post. I truly appologize for not giving credit to the sister that posted it by I truly planned on using it only for personal use and just cut and pasted it to word and printed it out to give to those people. You might also go to pelvic floor.com and there are surgery pictures you could show those close to you. Another thing I did is asked my husband to go to the dr. with me and asked the dr. to explain why I could not lift more than 10 lbs for six weeks. After the website and the dr's explanations my husband is now treating me like a queen.

's and best wishes!!!!!!



Previos post:
Since you asked about what can happen if you overdo things too soon, I'll try to respond to that.

Whether or not you have an abdominal incision with visible staples or stitches, with any type of hysterectomy you will have many (possibly hundreds of) internal stitches. It is this internal healing that can take anywhere from six months to a year to be complete. My own DR told me before my surgery (which was a TVH/BSO with A&P repairs and a bladder suspension) that she actually prefers to do abdominal hysts because those ladies have a visible incision to remind them of the healing that's taking place inside.

If you strain yourself too soon, one of the most catastrophic things that can happen is that you can tear some of your stitches. This can result in bleeding, possibly even hemorrhaging. We have had ladies here who have had this happen. In a few cases this has required emergency surgery and blood transfusions... quite scary indeed!

The trouble is, some of the damage you can do in the longer term is harder to detect when you are doing it. When your tissues are healing they are very sensitive to being pulled and squeezed. Scar tissue wants to form wherever there are internal incisions, and if there is even a tiny amount of bleeding inside it can 'stick' areas together that shouldn't be stuck together, with the result that bridges of scar tissue can form between organs or tissues that should not normally be connected. These areas of scar tissue are called adhesions. In some cases, they can grow over time until they occupy large areas of the pelvis and connect some or all of the organs there, and occasionally they can even grow nerves and their own blood supply ... the result can be that every movement pulls on something it shouldn't and causes intense pain.

For example, adhesions involving the bowel are common. These can become extremely uncomfortable and even dangerous if the bowel becomes obstructed because of bands of scar tissue around it. I recently had to have 2/3 of my colon removed because of diverticulitis... as a side note, the surgeon found the blood vessels that had supplied my left ovary (before it was removed last year) wrapped around my colon, almost strangling it. All I had felt to that point was a little tugging on the side of my pelvis at times, but clearly eventually it could have become much more serious.

I have really over-simplified this whole situation for the sake of trying to explain how it happens... but to appreciate it you have to meet someone who is suffering from painful adhesions. Sometimes a further surgery can be done to remove them. Sometimes vital organs are involved to an extent that surgery to remove them would be too dangerous, and then the only solution is a lifetime on pain medication. If you are still curious, you might visit the Road Less Traveled forum on this site... that is where many of the ladies who have trouble with adhesions will post.

The trouble is, when your body is forming adhesions you may not be aware that it's happening. When I had my recent surgery I asked the surgeon what I should do to minimize the likelihood that I would form them. He said to take it very easy during the initial recovery period... but also not just lie still doing nothing. He suggested that frequent, slow, easy movement was the key. Strong, sudden movements as in some forms of exercise can cause little tiny tears in the tissue that will promote adhesion formation, whereas slow, fluid movements keep things 'loose' and free. Walking is great, as is slow swimming when weather permits and after the DR has cleared you to be submerged in water (for many of us this is at the six week mark).

The pressure, heaviness and dull achiness you are feeling are signals that you still have some swelling inside as your tissues are healing. I hope you will listen to what your body is trying to tell you... it needs time to heal properly. You only get one chance to have an uncomplicated recovery, so it's up to you to make the most of it! Look at it this way... you and your surgeon are partners in this. Your surgeon's part was to make sure to do the very best job he/she could do in the OR ... now your part is to make sure you don't undo all that good work. In order for you to have the best possible outcome, you BOTH have to do your parts!

I know it's hard to slow down and rest when you're feeling so good.... I am not even three weeks post a colectomy myself (my hyst was a little over a year ago) and am already going stir crazy! But I am determined to behave myself... no way do I want to go back to that OR, ever!

As a side note, even if you keep your ovaries, their blood supply is compromised when the uterus is removed. This can result in either temporary or permanent changes in the way your ovaries work. If after the first few months of recovery, your sex drive still hasn't returned, you may want to consider the possibility that your hormone levels aren't what they were pre-op. You might want to visit www.hormonejungle.com and check out some of the pull-down articles there as well as some of the threads on libido.

Best wishes for a continued smooth, uncomplicated recovery!
s,
-Linda

First off this surgery is a big deal, any surgery in which you go under is a big deal....do just what you said...do not talk to insensitive family members until you are emotionally ready to do so. This is a surgery that permeates your entire being, and not in a negative way, but healing properly is pertinent!! I have had surgery 4 weeks ago and just pushed myself yesterday b/c I was starting to feel good, I am paying for this today big time!
I have had this same problem with people who did not understand what I was about to do and decided 2 months before my surgery that I needed the least amount of stress both physically and emotionally. If you push yourself you will pay both emotionally and physically. These people unfortunately are not able to put themselves in your shoes, some people find this hard to do. some can't help it.
Have your DH field your calls and he can tell them that you need your rest. I had a TAH and have suffered from endo, aden and chronic pain with it, mainly I had wonderful support but then I had some people just undermine what I was going through, even though I rarely missed an event nor complained ( sorry I sound like a martyr....) I really regret that I pushed myself before my surgery and for years before, now that I have hit that magical age of 35, I finally decided that I was the most important person and by not putting my health and healing first I was not only cheating myself but also my loved ones.....take this time for yourself, women today are made to go go go and we can't do it all, I am a firm believer that it effects our bodies and minds....so get Call Display, turn your phone off, get a note for the door--"Sleeping--do not disturb" or simply tell these people that you need to take of yourself, better yet show them any information explaining what you will undergo, I found that when some insensitive people understood endo and the pain and then the surgery that they judged me less, isn't there a saying "ignorance is bliss"...take them out of that "blissful" stage If you can't then simply keep your distance until you are well.
PS I found my mood swings after the surgery was enough reason to not speak to some insensitive people unless I had a good dose of my pain pills

Good Luck and take care of yourself FIRST!!

Dear Grape Nut Well tommorow is our day and I want to wish you all the best
i know just how you feel I hope your nerves are doing better than mine I must be such a baby But knowing I am not alone is what helps I will be thinking of you and sending positive energy your way Good Luck and we will be good as new soon
All my Love to you Love Abby

Remember that this is your recovery! People will be people, especially if they've never walked in our shoes! Just surround yourself with supportive people. Deal with the others, in about 2 months or so. They'll get over it.

If one of your friends have to take this journey, just remember to be supportive of them, although they didn't extend the same to you.

I am going through the same thing with my family and friends. It hurts my feelings. But, I'm going to let them loose until I am physically and mentally able to deal with them. Then....they better WATCH out!!! *punch* We'll be back on even grounds, again. I might a little fire in me that I've been unaware of. Ha!

Just enjoy the love and support of your loving husband, your HYSTER SISTERS and the others that love you, just as much!



LaWanda

First of all, say a prayer of thanks for your hubby and give him a big hug and kiss. Secondly, ask if he'd mind running interference for you with these clods.