How To Deal?

Hello All!

I am just wondering how the best way that any of you have dealt with having a hystro... I mean I know it was what had to happen, it bettered me, But I still cannot get the fact that It's gone, I will never have anymore children. Does this go away or do you just need to fool yourself

I think you're just going through a normal part of the healing process. My mom had a TAH several years ago and I remember her calling me from the hospital before surgery crying because she wouldn't be able to have any more kids. She already had 5 and my dad had a vasectomy, so I couldn't understand it back then. Now that I've had one myself, I thought I really knew what I was doing and afterwards I couldn't believe I had done such a permanent thing. It really bothered me, but as the days go by I'm starting to accept it more. Hang in there. It will get better!!

I felt sad the day I came home from the hospital, and I told my husband that I needed him to go and buy me a puppy! I'm glad he waited and didn't do as I asked. I think the mourning is a normal process, but we just have to remember that this is a new chapter in our lives. As much as I love my kids, I don't think I need new children in my life to be happy. I can look forward to the future and be more selfish. You have to sacrifice a lot for children, and it may be nice to be selfish for a change.

it is very difficult --- and i think most women grieve. also most of us associate going to the hospital with coming home with a new baby, so this might make it hard too.

i think part of it is that we no longer have a choice. you might not decide to have more or any children, but it is your choice. this sort of feels like the choice is gone forever.

You are totally right!!! I know I don't want anymore children. I have 2 wonderful Children that I hold so dear to me. I am Only 25 though and the thoughts before hand that I might met that person and want another child always crossed my mind. But, Now that choice is gone forever! and that is something I just can't get over. I'm loving this site though! I tried turning to my friends but they don't know what to say.... They don't have the first clue of how to deal with me.... This site is going to become a savoir to me

You are very right about the feelings. I think we all go through that. Women without hysts who can't or decided not to have babies until menopause hit probably feel the same way. Just keep in mind that adopting a puppy is always fun, and you can always adopt or foster a child if the need or desire to have one is great. I really understand what you mean though. I have been in the hosp. four times, four babies, and I found this hyst. visit to be the worst since they stuck me on the O.B. floor. It was hard to hear the babies cry and know I was done with that forever. My roommate apparently felt it was too much to handle, because she spazzed and argued with the nurses until they transferred her. I almost envy her. Good luck Teary and God Bless.

I think that Nancie said it best...that you no longer have "a choice". Having a hysterectomy is so final, so to speak. Even if you don't want children, the choice, the option is no longer there.

But remember, adoption or foster parenting is available, so you really still do have a choice. A child can be born in your heart.

Robin

yes, i agree with robin. you still can be a parent to (or more )children you just can't give birth anymore.

I can totally relate to you.

I had both of my children before the age of 22 and then was not able to have anymore due to a rare heart condition and very dangerous open heart surgery at 23 and I was so very depressed about it.

One thing I did that really helped me and healed me emotionally... I took a part time job at my kids montessori school and worked with the infants and toddlers.

Holding a baby all day long was just what I needed, and with several babies to tend it was just the medicine.

Now I feel like I've had all the kids I should have and don't have those feelings anymore, and am looking forward to my first grandbaby!

P.s. I also have 10 puppies to go with my profound advice if anyone wants one!

yes, i was going to mention dogs too! when i was told that i couldn't have anymore babies, it really helped to have a canine baby to nurture.