I need hugs, I am new here

I went today for my 7 week post-op. It has already felt like a very long jorney physically and mentally. At 1 week I cried at my appt.( to get my remaining staples removed. )I just had a lot of emotions about having the hysterectomy bottled up inside me. I told my dr. that I didn't feel like me anymore and felt like my feminimity was gone. I had a TAH cervix gone, kept ovaries. He offered to get me therapy if I felt I needed it. I said"no, I will be ok." Between that visit and my 7 week today I kept telling him that emotionally everything was ok. I had complications consisting of a hematoma with 1/2 staples removed, incision infection, severe abdominal pain 4 weeks, then found out I had a bowel impaction.Today my dr. checked my incision and he said it really doesn't look any better than 2 weeks ago.I was cleared to resume sex, but have no desire.I have had bad nausea the last 11/2 weeks and not sure what is causing it.While talking with Dr. after internal exam I broke down crying. I couldn't stop myself and apologized to him. He was very shocked I think. He had no idea I felt this way. I finally told him that I still feel like I am not me anymore and am angry about having a hysterectomy and felt like I didn't get to make any decisions. My family (husband and 4 teenage boys)have not been supportive emotionally or physically.I started crying again and I again aplogized.I told him that I keep things to myself,so I didn't tell him that I feel very depressed.He said he is very glad I did break down, because he needed to know I am feeling like this.He was very supportive and talked with me for about 40 minutes.I have had terrible anxiety since surgery. I was awake almost 30 hours following recovery in the hospital, before receiving a sleeping pill.I was miserable and felt like I was bouncing off of the walls. Since being home I haven't been able to sleep at all during the day. I have been doing housework since the day I came home.I have been extremely restless. I couldn't sleep at night either until the Dr. put me on ambien. I have to use 2 benedryls with it in order for me to sleep 4-6 hours a night.The Dr. gave me 3 weeks worth of Zoloft to start taking and 6 refills. He said this should help get me through this rough period and help me relax and get some sleep..He said he really believes my anxiety is due to depression. My blood pressure has been up the last 3 visits. He thought it was due to anxiety, but had no idea I was depressed until today.My Dr. again offered to get me therapy if I wanted. I refused, but now thinking it might help. I work as a aid in a mental institution and somehow can't see myself talking to a counselor.My Dr. asked if I was ready to go back to work as scheduled the 5th of July? I told him I am not sure and have been thinking about more time off. Physically I feel like I have been drained with the complications and emotionally I don't feel I can handle it right now. He said he would be glad to give me more time. The incision being open is enough in itself.He wants to check the incision before I go back to work anyway and see how I am doing emotionally I guess. He also said if I feel worst please call him.I lye in bed at night and cry until I fall asleep. I also start crying right out of the blue. I hate this, but can't seem to help myself.
I went to the dr. 4-27, because of severe periods. The 28th I saw Dr. again because of 5.5 blood count. The 29 th I received a 3 unit blood transfusion. Had a severe reaction and the center called 911 to take me over to emergency room. May 7 I had my surgery. I had adenomyosis,1 fibroid and cyst removed off of right ovary. Everything hit me so quick, I never had time to accept the fact that I was having a Hyster. My emotions were severed and nobody to talk with about my feelings.I have been discouraged and depressed over everything that has happened before and after surgery.
I am sorry about rambling on, but at times I feel like a time bomb about to explode.

Do any of you sisters take zoloft and does it really help.? I have never been on a anti depressant and am scared. My Dr. said it might take around 10 days to kick in. Did it take you this long? I just know I feel awful and feel like I might explode!
I am glad to know I can always come here for the support I need. My 4 boys and hubby just don't understand what I have been through and just haven't been much support.
Thanks for being here and for words of encouragement.
I know that you ladies on this site can understand my feelings.
Peggy

My heart goes out to you for what you are going through and you deserve another

These are very hard times not only on our bodies, but on our emotions, our hormones and our spirits.

My DH is a LSW at the only local mental health care facility here in my town. So when I found out that I needed to have my surgery I reached out for help in the next town. Sometimes when you work in that field or know someone who does, it's hard to ask for help. You not only worry that you would not be considered "strong" or worse that you will be labeled and perhaps people would find out.

If I were you I would highly consider going back to work already. You are not ready emotionally for that.

Your doctor is concerned about you and your emotional state. He like your sisters here, do not want anything to happen to you. You may want to consider taking him up on his offer. If not through him, you can find a LSW who has a private practice. Somewhere away from the facility you work at.

The stress of the non support at home will cause worry and therefore the energy your body needs to heal is being used elsewhere.

My prayers are with you Peggy!

Another just for you!

Margie

Hi
I was on antidepressants before my op, I was struggling with 2 small kids, a job, DH working away, and all the problems that went before my hyst. I wasnt wonderwoman, and I wonder now why I thought I was.
Antidepressants take about 10-14 days to settle your system. they make you feel a bit drowsy for that time, after that, they just make you mellow, and more able to cope.
6 months is the usual length of a course. Has your doctor asked to see you regularly within this 6 months?
My doc will only let 2 months go, before he wants to see me again, but having someone listen to how you are feeling inside is quite good in itself.
Dont feel that you are doing bad by taking the antidepressants. You have been through a lot, and if you can think of them as an emotional crutch to help you for 6 months, you will get better quicker!
Many many s

hello
To answer your question, I don't know how much longer I will be seeing my dr. I am seriously thinking about taking more time off work, because I don't think I am able to go back in a short time. I see my dr. next Wed. , but not sure after that. He never mentioned anything about checking on my progress after I am released to go back to work. This is all so new to me. I guess I need to ask some questions about it when I see him next week.I feel so depressed and tearful right now . I really don't know what to do.
Thank God there is support from sisters like you. I also wish you luck with your recovery.
Peggy

Great big cyber hugs coming your way! I am praying for you and I know that it is hard.Take care.Judy

I started on Wellbutrin about 2 months before my surgery due to terrible depression that was related to an issue with my grown son (a situation I am having to learn to live with). I was barely able to function each day. It took almost 4 weeks to kick in, but what a change! I am a new person, so the antidepressants can make a huge difference. But you do have to give it a little time. So far I haven't had any bad feelings after my TAH/BSO. I am also taking Premarin for my HRT.

Best wishes to you, I know how awful it can be. Life will get better for you at some point. Just consider yourself kind of "maintaining" until then. I don't know if you are a believer, but reading scripture (esp. Psalms 34) and prayer really helps me, too. God bless.

Mimi

Peggy, You have really been through a lot and I know many here can relate
I love the fact that you and your doctor are communicating well and he is willing to listen and help you through this journey. You might ask him to check your hormone levels. Sometimes our ovaries don't wake up and we need a little help with estrogen/testosterone , until they do. I kept my ovaries, but found a boost with a little hormone was what I needed. A blood test can determine how your doing. It really did make a difference in my libido and my energy/emotional level. Make sure you get plenty of and know that a is only a post away!

(((Peggy))))
First thing you need is a big warm and some

There. I have suffered from clinical depression (the long-standing kind. - what you're feeling may just be situational) for all of my adult life. It took me many years to seek treatment for it, and let me tell you, it changed my life.

The first medication I did try was Zoloft. Within 6 weeks, I started to feel "normal" again. Unfortunately it wasn't the drug for me, and I've been through several drugs and combinations of drugs before I found one that works for me. These meds work differently on different people. So, sweetie, if you're not feeling better in a few weeks, please let your doc know.

We all like to think we are superwoman, but at some point in our lives, we come to realize that we are not (shhhhh..my dh is still under the impression that I AM superwoman), nor do we HAVE to be. Suffering from depression is not a weakness. It is simply a chemical imbalance going on in your brain.

Much love:
Tam

I have been on Zoloft for a little over a year now. I couldn't live without it. Before I started taking it I was in a bad mood all the time. I was always snapping at my kids and my husband. I basically just had a bad outlook on life. Since I've started taking the Zoloft things have been 200% better. I can't imagine living without it. When you first start taking it, it takes about 2 weeks before it gets into your system and you start to really notice a difference.

Hi..
First let me say I'm so glad that you finaly let your doctor know how you're feeling so he could help.
I've been on antidepressants for a little over 3 years now .....and as some of the others have shared, it has changed my life. I was one who was reluctant to try medication but now I'm so glad that I did. I was on zoloft for a year and a half and it worked really well for the depression. I was kind of sickish at first until my body got used to it but that was only for about 10 days....just some slight nausea and queasiness. I switched from the zoloft to wellbutrin about 2 years ago when I began a serious relationship as the zoloft made it very difficult for me to reach orgasm. I don't have any side effects on the wellbutrin.
When i went on the antidepressants it started out to be to treat depression related to my divorce but after being on the meds for a while I realized that I had never felt so "normal" in my life. My doctor and i then decided that I've battled depression all my life...I just didn't know it.
Going on medication was very difficult for me to accept but it turned out to be the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I hope your results are just as positive...hang in there it does get better.