What to say when people ask how are you?

What are you ladies saying when someone asks how you are?

I am much better than 5 weeks ago but I still am not myself. I have nausea, some abdominal pain, and something is wrong with my shoulder and I can't hardly use my right arm because of it. I feel a little jittery and I am tired.

I went to my family reunion yesterday and left after 2 hours. People asked me how I was and I told them. It made people uncomfortable. I guess they are just being polite and don't want to really know. I think to they expect me to be great after 6 weeks.

I am more concerned about returning to work and answering that question when coworkers ask. Should I say fine or saying coming along? Or what?

thanks,

woodsie

I'm glad you brought this up, as I have the same question. The other day I was visiting my MIL and her friend says to me in a cheery voice "So do you feel like a new woman!" I felt like saying NO, I feel horrible, but I didn't think that would be the thing to do, so I excused myself to the ladies room and cried.... blah...

So what do we say?

I know what you mean.

I had a work mate just visit me in her lunch hour. She had a TAH about 12 years ago and is sympathetic and knows how long it takes. But I have just been saying to people Im getting there its a long healing process with good and bad days but I am feeling better than I was!

I dont know if that helps you.

Looby

I am just over 2 weeks postop and have had an uneventful and easy recovery thus far from my TAH June 11. I am back to many of my regular activities (just not sex or heavy lifting!) and mostly it seems people have forgotten I might occasionally need help or a nap. (Now, too late, I understand why some women stay in their nightgowns during the day, long after they are feeling more human!!)

When someone asks how Im doing, my answer depends on the person asking and how well I know them and how much I feel comfortable telling them.

If its my mom for instance (someone I know well and dont mind sharing info with), I'll say Im doing pretty good, getting a bit tired, and my incision is both numb and itchy at the same time and then maybe show her the incision if we're in a private enough area.

If its a coworker, an acquaintance or someone else I dont know that well and am not comfortable giving details to, then I might say something like "Im doing pretty well, but Im not 100% yet, but Im well on my way, thanks for asking... then I'll ask them a question, like "and how are YOU doing" or "how's your mother?" or "are your kids happy to be done school now?" or some other appropriate question to deflect the focus to THEM and THEIR LIFE.

I find this works almost everytime, they dont ask anything more, or accidently say anything inappropriate. The few times that they've replied with something further regarding my health or surgery, its been women that have either been thru a hyster, or are considering a hyster and want more info... at which point I give them this website and tell them how wonderful and supportive everyone is

I'm back to work, starting my 4th week now. The first couple of weeks, if a co-worker asked, I said "I'm up and taking nourishment." and gave a bit of a smile and they'd giggle nervously and move on to something else. Now I just say "Not quite ready to go dancing yet."

If it's close family, and we're not where I'd gross out unknown people around me, I tell them more of the full info.

It's all a matter of knowing whether the "How Are You?" is just a greeting like "Howdy!" or if it's a true inquiry into your medical status.

I just say, I'm not too bad, and I'm getting there, slowly but surely. This seems to satisfy most peoples curiosity!

If it's somoene I don't want to get into it with or someone that I know doesn't really want to know the whole story I just say "Hanging in there" So I'm not well, not bad, just trying ot get better. It works well.

For others that I know want to know how I"m doing and will understand, I tell them the truth.

I've been saying, "Well, I'm good, not quite myself again yet, but I'm getting better and stronger every day. How are you?"

Seems to satisfy most people. I figure, if they want details, they'll ask.

I have no idea what to say. I feel people think I need to further along than I am. How would they know (okay I just had to get that out).

Some people say "how are you" and they really don't want to hear the truth. Other are concerned and I tell them the truth for that day. It can change from one day to the next.