think ive hit bottom.....

im a little over 3 weeks post op,for a TAH WITH BSO..ive done really well so far..but i feel like i suddenly am sad,depressed..im tired of being so sore and achy and exhausted!..add to this,my mom is making things worse..plus my hubby might be laid off 2 weeks..PLUS i wouldve been 37 weeks pregnant,if i hadnt miscarried..add to that,my hubbys being tested for cancer,and heart trouble..i feel like im on overload..i feel like week 3 physically and mentally,is more difficult than week 2!..kind of odd..im trying to decide when to go back to school,too..and some of our bills are doubled,and im worried to death..if i felt better,and wasnt so tired,i could deal with all this better..im hoping that by 8 weeks,ill be feeling somewhat better..my abdominal band and gel ice pack help,and i still lie down to rest..oh yeah,my sister is mad because her birthdays tomorrow,and i havent gotten her anything..and i had planned to shop for my daughter(who lives in another state),but ive been so tired..i feel like a horrible mom for sending her a card and check,for school things..can you tell i have a plate divided into 20 sections,and theyre all overflowing??it doesnt help that i dont have much of a family,to talk to,thatll help me out....i grocery shopped,carried everything in,cleaned house..i have noone to help..hubbys gone working all night..ive tried to keep my chin up,tell myself itll all be ok.. but i am heavy hearted here lately...

Hugs to you... that's a lot to deal with especially when you are tired and don't feel well. I hope for some improvements for you soon
FWIW: you are NOT a bad mom or sister for not feeling up to shopping right now. I am 6 weeks and a trip to the store for school supplies for my soon to be kindergartener made me fall asleep in the car coming home!
Hang in there!

melly,

I am so sorry you are feeling so down. And with a great many reasons! You need to take care of yourself first, then take one thing at a time. When things get really difficult it is sometimes easier just to take one day at a time.
As far as your sister and daughter, well they just will have to understand. Right now your health is the important thing.
Take care of yourself and you will have plenty of time to do for them later!

Is there anyone that can help you around your house? Maybe someone from Church? Don't be afraid to ask right now! You sound like you can really use a hand!!

I hope things get better for you! Please take sometime and take care of yourself, you are still recovering!

Sending you Lots of
s

Dear Melly

You are not a bad Mom, Youve just had major surgery! Please take care of your self. let the housework go, all the dust and the dishes will be there when you get back on your feet. Don't fret about those bills, worrying won't change a thing!

Let go! Let God!

There have been some times in my life when I just had to turn evrything over to God, and say, OK, you win, I'm not doing a very good job at running things, I'll let you have your job back now. And you know what? He took back his job, and ran the show a heck of alot better than I did.

Wearing yourself out, and worrying yourself to death will not change one thing. try to concentrate on getting better. Do small things for yourself. Call your daughter tommorrow and tell her you love her and know she will have fun picking out her birthday gift this year. rest. Be kind to yourself.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Leila

Hon you deserve a huge hug!

You are only 3 weeks out from MAJOR surgery. That in itself should be reason enough to be feeling a little down.

Add in all of the other "things" you've got going on and any sane person would be pulling their hair out.

I know it's easy to say - take time for yourself and don't push it - but sounds like you don't have a choice right now. I'm sorry and wish that I could nod my head and make it all better.

Hang in there and I hope things start looking up for you!

My favorite thought at this time is LET GO AND LET GOD!!

Hugs and Prayers to you!!!

I sympathize with you and want you to know that you are not alone. I also agree with advice about let go and let God. Sometimes we are so overwhelmed that it seems easier said than done. Everything happens for a reason and everything will work out.

You need to concentrate on yourself first so that in time, you can be up and going full steam ahead to do the things we do so well when we are healthy.

Don't worry about not being able to get presents for your loved ones. Celebrate later. They truly understand, we are just extra sensitive to everything during recovery because our bodies require so much energy and as women we are not used to being down and out so long.

I am 7 weeks post op and I tell you week three was the worse week I have experienced to this point. I was in pain, cranky and extremely sensitive. I thought everything was damaged and my surgery was a horrible mistake. When I went to the doctor he said I was so sore because (I had a TAH/BSO) even though I could only see one incision, he actually had done 2 incisions. One was right above the pelvic bone and they flipped the skin back and made a vertical incision under my skin beside the belly button down. That explained everything and I realized I had reason to be so sore!

Stay in bed, rest and explain to your family you cannot do the things your normally do. It is okay to ask for help and people will be happy to help. People often want to help if they know what to do. Often they think we don't need help because we don't like to ask--we don't know how to ask for help.

I will be thinking of you and praying for you. Get well and the sisters are pulling for you
Val

Melly,
I am so sorry to hear about all you are dealing with. I will keep you in my prayers.

Janet

Dear Melly - you can't do it all. Be forward with your family and say "look this is how it is, I had major surgery and I need help and TLC".

Dear Melly,
I'm five weeks today and I feel like I'm finally getting over weeks three and four. They were the worst weeks I've had. My body doesn't feel as sore. I can move and not feel pain. I'm almost moving like I didn't have surgery. This improvement has happened in just two days so hang in there.

{{{{{Melly}}}}}

Week three was really rough for me, too, and I didn't have half of the stuff to worry about that you do. Please know that you WILL feel better. Even just another week may make a big difference. Please don't try to do it all. I'm at 18 weeks and carrying in heavy bags of groceries still hurts! As for daughter and sister, they will just have to be patient. Tell sis that you'll be doubly good to her at holiday time, and frankly, my young adult daughter LOVES to get cash so she can choose. Hubby will be okay, too. If things get really rough, finding a good counselor or clergyperson to talk to can really help.

The advice to let it go and give it up to God, or whatever higher power you believe in, is wise. The worring won't do you any good. Please do not be afraid to ask for some help. I was talking on the phone to a good friend soon after my surgery and told her how frustrating it was to have my family able to ignore the cat vomit on the carpet. The next theink I knew, my cat-loving friend was on my doorstep with rug cleaner! The blessings will be out there. I promise!

Hang in there and keep us posted-
Nan