How will post-op work w/ 5 young kids???

My BIGGEST question for all you princesses is, how long of a recovery should I expect? I'm having a TVH on Wednesday the 6th. I have 5 kids ages 7 to 1.5 yr, my baby must know there's something going on because she has become so clingy and is asking to be carried so much more than I have been. How long should I expect before I can carry her again? Also, we are moving into a bigger house at the end of this month. My friend's mom told me that I'm not allowed to lift ANYTHING, or even vacuum for 6 weeks. My mom told me that I won't be able to drive for 2 weeks. I just found out that though my dr told me I would only be in the hospital for 24 hours, the insurance lady at his office said I should expect to be there 48 hours unless there are complications. I know everyone has different experiences, but I am so lost. I feel like I have a mental brick wall built on Oct 6th, and I cannot even visualize what I'm going to be experiencing or feeling after its all done. I've never had surgery before (had a tubal after my baby was born, but because I had an epidural I was awake for the procedure, so I don't feel like I can count that!) and I am so anxious, insomnia and all that (not to mention excited about my new house and anxious and insomnic about that too). I need just as much advice as I can get. Thanks in advance! marci

Marcee,

You will definatley need some help. There is no way you will be able to drive - the two week max is because they think you will be on pain meds for that time and you can't drive while under the influence.

Also, you will not want any "lap kids" - you abdomen will be sore - even though you are having a vaginal operation, the space they are taking theorgans from will be very sore.

Please try to find someone to help with the kids - at least in the day so you can rest - you will be surprised at how tired you will be - I am 8 days post op from TAH/BSO and still have to take two or three naps a day and have lots of insomnia at night.

Good luck to you.

Maria

marcee,
This is my biggest worry as well.
I have four children aged 12, 8, 3 and 17 months. I don't know how I will cope with the youngest the most. How will I put him in his crib or the car seat.. etc etc.
This is the one thing that I am the worriest about...
I am having a TVH on the 12th October so you are a bit ahead of me. Let me know how you are getting on!
Michelle.

Hi Marci-
I too had a TVH (41/2weeks ago) and have 3 kids.(4.7.and 9). I was in the hospital for 2 nights and 3 entire days.
You will definatly need some help for the first 5 or 6 days. Remember that everyone heals differently but I never napped. I was weak and sore but not in "pain" and my tired was more of a physical tired, not a sleeping tired. Your friend was right, you can't lift at all and I wasn't able to drive for 2 weeks either..You will be able to sit on the floor with your kids after about a week and read books or color etc...
Here are some tips that I did to handle my 4 year old.
*before surgery compile a basket with easy to do art projects and new books or old favorites that you can easily reach.(keep it on a counter)
* buy a new pack of brightly colored pipe cleaners.(they are cheap and will keep any child over the age of 2 occupied for at least an hour !!!!.
* place all of your must haves on the counter. Every thing at chest level is the easiest to get. YOu can't bend or lift. So what if your counters look messy for a while.
* buy paper plates and cups and easy to prepare snacks. Now is the time to splurge on the uncrustables and individual packs of snacks and juice boxes.

I was totally on my own with my kids at 2 weeks and it was hard but I managed. Just laugh at the mess and give lots of hugs. This too shall pass.

Oh, if you aren't opposed to candy a bag of those dum dum lollypops do wonders for a crying toddler....

I hope this helps. Good luck- Tracey

P.S. I you have any questions just ask-

Thank you so much for the advice, and I'm going to be so busy today trying to get everything under some control, get some meals in the freezer so my mom can just pop them into the oven. I love the pipecleaners idea, I'm making my list right now of what I need to get in order to be prepared. I'm getting anxious, and scared, but I can't wait for it to be over! marci

Having someone to help is an absolute must. Have not had mine yet, scheduled for the 11th, that is, if my period doesn't decide to show up, but I sure remember when I had my kids (both cesarean). I had tons of help at least the first week. Treat this just like you did when you had your kids, if not more so; a helping hand, whether a grandmother, well meaning friend, or spouse goes a LONG way to full recovery. Good luck and I will be praying for you!

Even though you will not necessarily be "in pain" after your procedure, you will find you tire VERY easily and some very mundane things will obviously not be the same -- for instance, bending down to pick stuff off the floor may be a big ordeal for a while.

In general, the pain hasn't been TOO bad for me, but I go through stages where I feel "rotten" -- like I just need to collapse for a few hours. It's the body's way of telling me to rest.

Yes, you will need help. It will be several weeks before you should try lifing anything heavier than 5-10 pounds. (They told me not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk.) You only have one chance to heal right, and you're not going to do anyone any good if you end up back in the hospital a week after your release!!! I'm serious about that.

I only have a 4-year-old ds and he's in daycare -- the weekends are still really challenging because about all I can do is watch movies and read books. DH is here, but by Saturday evening, all we can think about is Monday morning when we can take him back to daycare!

Good luck to you.

I had a TVH on May 11th of this year. I am a mom of 5 as well, at that time they were 9, 6, 4, 3, and 1. Dh only had two weeks off because of his job.

I ended up back in for an infection just days after I was home and was in there for a week.

But after that, the healing went nicely. Dh went ot work and I deal w/ the children.

It was not nearly as hard as everyone said it would be because I have five kids. I guess some get really bug-eyed so to speak because they hear 5 and know it's hard witih 1, so assume it's a lot harder with 5. For me, it wasn't. I was so greatful for the help.

I cooked a lot before I went in, had snacks, books, games, etc around me for then to be entertained and they loved spending time with me.

They ALL helped with the house and chores. Yep. ALL. The baby would take out garbage to the can for me. lol She'd also grab me the phone if I needed it, she was only 19 months when I had the surgery. She would bring me her diapers and wipes and would crawl up on the bed when she needed changed.

They all helped. Everyone said that I'd need help, well I didn't, I had all the help I needed with my kids. They knew mommy was not well. We had a talk with them briefly abotu I needed another surgery but this one was a lot bigger than the other ones and I needd help. It really worked. My older two helped a lto with the baby, including lifting her as needed.

TRhere is no lifting, your doc should give you more info. Mine was 5 pounds for the first 8 weeks and now i have a permanent lift restriction of 20 pounds. So it makes life harder, but we made it.

Ther eis also no pushing/pulling/lifting. I had my 6 adn 4 year olds do that part. The 4yr old boy swept the kitchen and bathrooms - lol. And my 6 yr old used the vaccumm. They LOVED doing this because they never got to before. No it wasn't perfect, but it did just fine.

I wsa told 24 hours for my stay, but stayed 48 due to complications from teh anesthsia.

You'll need to have someone else move boxes. You can pack them, unpack them, but not lift them. We moved in to our home just a few months before my surgery, so after three weeks, I'd sit on the couch, they'd bring me the boxes, and I'd go through them slowly and at my own pace. It worked nicely. But you cannot lift anything liek that.

Driving, that you need to ask your doc. I was allowed to drive when I could step on the break and not be in pain.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'm sure my girls are going to be a big help, even though my oldest is 7, she takes on a lot of responsibility and is a BIG help with the baby. I don't know what I'll do when she's in school though! My inlaws should be getting home from their vacation by the time my mom goes home, having them close by has been such a blessing. Right now the kids can hop the fence to get to Grandmas, but when we move we'll be a couple of miles apart, which won't be so convenient, but I'm glad we're not moving out of town.
I've gotten all my preop taken care of, so it's off to the castle I go, early Wednesday morning! Auntie Flo is finishing up her last visit at my house and hopefully will take her time coming back, I'm not looking forward to having 4 girls going through puberty at the same time!!! thanks again for your prayers and advice, it's greatly appreciated! marci

Don't turn down any offers of help. Tell them to bring fast food, take out, whatever. A bag of apples, a package of toilet paper, some new coloring books, a movie rental for the kids. Or your prescription refill at the pharmacy, or drive you to a doctor's appt. or watch the kids while you go.

Make sure you have the word out about your surgery to your closest friends. I did not tell some of mine and they were offended because they wanted to grocery shop for me. My kids are teenagers, 13, 17, and 19.

Buy a whole bunch of TV dinners or Banquet pot pies.

If your bedroom is upstairs, re-think your recovery area. That is the one thing I did not prepare well enough. I thought I could stay downstairs for a few weeks. Well, I was so sad, not being in my own bed, and missing my room (my bedroom is a huge attic remodeled into a living/bed/sewing/TV room). My sister came over and installed a refridgerator, microwave, and rearranged my furniture so I had a straight shot to the bathroom at night. Once I was ensconced in my room correctly, my recovery took off at the speed of light.

I am 5 weeks tomorrow after abdominal incision for hyst and tummy tuck and extensive posterior repair. I feel like a million dollars now, but I did it right. No lifting at all, stairs only once per day one step at a time slowly.

Any and all preparation you do now will greatly help your recovery. Good luck.

Jean Dey