How do you deal with people who want to visit you in the hospital?

Here is the situation: I am on a committee that is developing a non profit arts center. Most of the members are men. One in particular is really nice, but tends to be very intense. He wants me to tell him my surgery schedule and hospital so they can come visit me! I really don't think I want to be visited by a group of men I hardly know personally. From what I have read, I may not mind a few close friends, but I don't want lots of people dropping in. Any suggestions for how to deal with this? Am I being a grumpy old lady? Will I feel like entertaining a few men I hardly know? (I know the answer to that is NO! )

I totally agree with you. I think what you could do is to ask them if it would be ok for you to leave a message at work for them. You can leave updates as for how you are doing but let them know that while you are in the hospital you think that you will not really be up to visitors. Thank them for their concern and you will contact them when you are ready to visit with them. I think you are wise for wanting privacy during this time.

Linda

Can I tell you a secret. I first wanted everyone to visit me.. My inlaws my hubby my lil girl my parents my brother everyone. Then when I got out of surgery and they were there I told them all to get the heck out. You know what.. They weren't offended. I was on so many drugs and the pain was bad plus the catheter it just wasn't a pretty picture. More came when I was home and well showered and dressed a bit better.. But even then it was for just a little bit. You won't belive how much energy you will use up just trying to talk to people... Just tell them you will call them or something... I mean geez give a gal a little modesty...

Hope you have a good surgery and a great recovery. Just try not to sneeze or laugh after for a while!

Debbie

NO NO NO I promise you want feel like looking at a bunch of men you really dont know. I had visits from close family only and calls from work once I got home, I advised when I left work on leave I would let everyone know when I was feeling good enough to meet a few close co-workers for lunch and a good friend kept all updated on my surgery. Good luck and remember this is all about you - you call the shots!!

TAH 9-10 each day of recovery is different - more good than bad here lately.

You have the right to say no. In fact, I've told my DIL not to come to the hospital. She is very negative and always has some catty comment to make, and I'm afraid my DD will deck her in the hospital.

Thankfully, my DS is o.k. with this. So, it'll be my DH, DD and DS.
I've decided not to feel guilty over this, after all its all about me!

Best wishes with your surgery--

Hi Monet,

I agree with everyone else. I went so far as to tell work that I didn't want anyone to visit and see me in all my "glory". I said it tongue in cheek but I meant it, and said it because I was afraid they would show up. Fortunately no one came.

Now I'm almost 3 weeks post op and still limiting visits because I'm tired and enjoy the peace and quiet at home. This is your recovery; do what's good for you and what's in the best interest of getting well.

Good luck with your surgery,
Natalie

Ask them to visit you at home and bring goodies to eat while they're there!

I will let you in on the little secret I found when I was getting ready for my surgery!

You have the option of registering anonymously at the hospital. If anyone calls or stops and asks for your room number they will tell them that you are not registered. But - if you get cards or flowers they are delivered to your room. Anyone that has your room number can come and see you. My DH gave my room number to the people he knew I would see, plus you have a phone in your room to let anyone else know.

I did it to keep the guys (well meaning) from work away and a family member that I had no wish to see. Needless to say I had a nice peaceful stay without the worry of unexpected people dropping in!

If you don't want to register w/an aka, you can simply tell your nurse that you are not taking visitors except for immediate family. That solved my problems. I worked in the same hospital and had co-workers that wanted to come by and say "hi". I wasn't up to "hi", so the nurses posted a note to my door that said "no visitors - check with nurse". That way, the people I wanted to see could come in and the people I didn't have the energy for, were politely told I was not allowed visitors and they all thought my nurse/dr made that decision. Worked for me.

Diana

Before surgery, I wanted visitors...after surgery....I didn't. My face was swollen....i had a catheter....and just...well....didn't want visitors. I left instructions at the nurses' station for no visitors. They put a sign up on the door and did a pretty good job. Everyone understood, too. When my dh called to give updates to my coworkers and my church he let everyone know that "no visitors" had been requested. That seemed to work out pretty well. Besides....if anyone had stopped by....I didn't remember because of the drugs during my 7 day stay...

Good luck!