family support

Recently( Dec 1'st) I was scheduled for a D&C with poss ablation. After my D&C (no ablation) I was scheduled for a hysterectomy (9 days from now) I have had 10 months of periods-so heavy I went through 4 xtra heavy pads in an hour-or suffered the change of clothes.To make sure the enjoyment was complete there were the embarrassing "gushes" on a regular/irregular schedule, and the constant "spotting" I am being treated for anemia with 1500mg of Iron daily.
Before this (in 2002) I had a D&C after having excessive bleeding for over a year (not the Dr's fault, I always was sure it would get better-until I passed out) It did help for a time.
My (normally)absolutely wonderful family has deteriorated, I have been put into the position of total caretaker! Nightmares have to be comforted, everyone is demanding attention and time-suddenly-I am the only one capable of doing anything in the house!!!I did'nt see anything about this on the site...is this unique?

Hi!

I'm sure you aren't alone. I have often found myself in the position of total caretaker. While I don't have any words of wisdom to pass on to you, I did discover that while I was at the hospital and during my recovery at home, my DH and DD managed just fine.

I made some lists of daily/weekly chores that had to be done and made sure I had plenty of food in the house before my surgery. I also got all of the bills paid and cleaning done so they didn't have to worry about too much.

I hope that your family will be able to support you during this time so that you will be able to rest and recover. I will keep you in my prayers that everything will work out for you and your family! s

Deb

Hi, I'll be adding my prayers that your family will come through for you. Maybe they're being so needy right now because of stress with the whole situation. I found that after I printed the FAQ's for Family and Friends fron here - ( click here ) and gave it to my family, it helped them a lot. They knew more of what to expect and how they could help.

Best wishes.

s

Thank you!!! I've printed it out-there were handouts with lunch At first DH said he really did'nt want to know anything about it, but he did read the whole FAQ sheet, and I think it may be sinking in. (just wait till I give him a schedule
Thanks for your prayers. I feel better already

Greetings from Canada canuk!

I can feel for you.. that is how I felt too.. but believe it or not.... everything ran smoothly. My DH was amazing and still is, considering I only had surgery Nov 26th. I found with myself anyway, that all the stuff I thought I had to get done, got done by my DD or my DH. It was almost like a nesting thing, feeling I was going through. I darn near drove myself foolish. I was even rearranging pictures on the walls at one point. Why?? I am not sure yet why.

I am sure all will fall into place for you, and your family will be a great support and comfort to you during and after your surgery. I know mine was and I worried my head off about everything. They are probably being so needy right now because they know it the tables will be reversed soon enough.

All the best with your surgery!!! Take care!

My immediate family is very supportive, its my extended family who are troulbling to me right now. I always have holidays at our house but since my surgery is the week before Christmas I assumed that people would realize that it's not possible for me to do it but they don't seem to understand. My sister in law, who is also going through these types of problems and may have a hysterectomy in her near future is the worst. She says I'll be out of the hospital in a day and ready for company on Christmas. Believe me I am hoping to recover quickly but I doubt its realistic to to think it will be that quick! Aren't stairs an issue for a while too?
Any suggestions of a polite way to help them realize that I won't be up to entertaining!