is there anyone else in their 20's?

I am 25 and had a hysterectomy last year. I am looking to talk to other people who have "been there, done that". It's impossible to find any information on how things relate to someone in my age group. Is there anyone else who can tell me what it's been like for them? I'm just looking for someone to share things with. I feel like nobody else understands what I'm going through.

Jennifer,

My problems started at the ripe old age of 21 and have persisted til now and I'm 27. I had my hyst in May of 2000 and three surgeries before that. I have nothing left and just had another surgery for adhesions. I do not have any children but I have been married for 8 wonderful years to a man I dearly love. I know how you feel and you truly think you are all alone in your feelings. Your not. We are all here and can help you through this time. Please do not hesitate to email me when you need to talk. Before finding this site I thought I was the only one in my age bracket who experienced all this pain and depression and it must be in my head but it isnt' and these wonderful angels have helped me immensly. Please keep in touch and we can help you. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

Peace and Hugs

HI. I am 31, and I know how you feel about feeling alone. I haven't decided on the hyst yet, I have to see doc in March, to see if the fibroids got larger, all I know is this group is holding my hands through this, instead of me having to wring them! Take care!

NEENEE

Dear Jen,

I will be having my TAH tomorrow afternoon. I am 28 and have had three surgeries in the past two and a half years for recurrent ovarian cysts. Fortunately, I already have two children, but that doesn't make me not miss the children I will never conceive. The past few days have been awful. I am dealing with a loss that I haven't experienced yet. I am mourning children that don't even exist. I guess I just need to remember that God has given me two beautiful daughters and I cannot physically handle the pain I am in anymore. I just wanted to let you know that there are other people in their 20's unfortunately having to deal with this type of procedure too.

Lea

JEN 25!!!!!!!!! I read your post and I started to cry. I just turned 26 and I feel just like you. I had a TAH/BSO at 24. Im feel like no one on this earth understands how I feel. I feel cheated out of a normal life. My problems started at age 16. I dont feel like they have been solved at all by this hyst like I was told they would be. I am at this very moment having a hard time with my hormones. I am tired of not finding any useful info that realates to me also. Believe me I understand what you are feeling. dawn TAH/BSO 5/99

Hi Jen,

I'll be 30 in a month. I always had menstrual problems from as early as I can remember, but I thought it was normal at the time. I can relate to how you feel. Today, I don't feel too bad about having a TAH BSO and losing the possibility of having kids. I always knew I didn't want to have my own children and that I would adopt, but now I don't have much choice. Tomorrow, who knows how I will feel. It just seems that we are too young. I knew I would never use my uterus, but still that doesn't mean I necessarily wanted it snipped out. And maybe I needed my ovaries too. These hormones are so screwy.

While I was still in the hospital, a friend of mine who is the same age sent me a nice, long letter full of baby pictures and about how happy she is and wonderful it is being a mother. She is a very kind, open-minded, "together" person, but that day I thought her timing was really bad. I don't think she thought of how I would react.

My sister is going to have her second baby next month. She didn't start having kids until she was about 34. I felt that we were totally on the wrong wavelength until she told me now that for the next few weeks, she'll be on bedrest : no lifting, no housework, no nothing. Now I feel that we have something to talk about and we call each other every afternoon long-distance while everyone else is at work.

None of my friends call or e-mail me except the two who have had a laparscopy. They just can't fathom it. Maybe it scares them. I don't know.

Emily

I am 29 years old and have had continued problems ever since I can remember with surgeries beginning at 19 years old. I have had 5 surgeries to remove endo and had a hysterectomy on Jan 5th, 2001. I begged to keep my ovaries and my doctor obliged. I would have to say that the mere prospect of having the option to have children taken away was extrememly difficult. On one hand, I have not ever been someone whose burning desire was to have kids, but the three weeks leading up to the surgery were an emotional rollercoaster fluctuating between loss, anger, disappointment and downright self-pity. I mean, does anyone REALLY know if a "biological clock" is indeed biological? Isn't it possible that all that is is a woman's inherent desire to have children? How do I know that I won't wake up years from now and ALL I want is to bear children OF MY OWN. I know adoption is a valid AND noble option, but I am hurt and angry that it may be my ONLY option. I'll also say that I have had friends and acquaintances say THE most insensitive things you have ever imagined during this time. It does feel as though not a soul understands how you feel, but I do. I searched for a support group in my area but found none. I hope to hear from some of you regarding ways you all have dealt with all the emotions that come with surgery. Thank you.

Cinnamon
Hyster/ademyosis/kept ovaries

Hi Jen
I am 27, and am having a TVH on Tuesday, Jan. 30. I have had second, thrid, and even fourth thoughts about whether or not to have this done. However, I know that I can't continue to live like this anymore. I have had horrible periods with lots of pain since I was 17. Was diagnosed with cervical cancer at age 19, and have suffered ever since. After hemoraging the other day at my daughter's preschool, I knew I no longer have a choice.

I still have moments of grief. I grieve for the children I will no longer be able to have. Is that crazy? Maybe, but it's how I feel. I don't know where I will be emotionally after this surgery, I just have to keep my faith, and pray I can get online to come here!

To anyone out there who can relate:

Hi, my name is shannon and i am 29. I recently had my 4th baby in November of 2000. I have always had to have c-sections when giving birth and they always turned out fine , but this time it was not all ok. Peyton(2months now) came out just fine, but when the doc went to stich me up he could not stop me from bleeding. They worked on me for about 2 hours and finally had to go get my hubby to give them the ok to give me an E.R. HYS.. This was the only way to save my life I had already lost 3 pints of blood and they had to stop me from bleeding before it was to late. I woke up in a recovery room and had no idea of what had just happened to me. 2 days later i had to have a blood transfusion 3 pints and that was alittle wierd too-scary. I have to say this has been so hard to deal with. I realize all the positive parts of my life - really i dont need to have them pointed out to me , but the pain i feel, the sadness is almost to much to take on. I'm 29 and feel like i have had a part of me taken away that i can never ever get back. I try to explain to people friends, my hubby and i know they want to help , but they just cant fully understand. I feel empty. I had been on zoloft, but decided to go off so that i could deal with the pain and try to get on with it , but it looks like that was not the best idea. I think it was to soon- i'm thinking of going back on it this week. Last week was pretty bad and i dont think i can take another like it. I would really like to be able to talk to someone anyone who understands. I think planned or unplanned it is very hard to deal with and i just had no warning this was going to happen to me- i was shocked to say the least. if anyone is out there please write back i would love to hear from you. Or email shannoncity@msn.com.

Jen,

Hi. I'm Dani. I'm 24. I know what you're going through. I'm still going through the feelings almost 2 years after I had the hysterectomy done. It's something you never truly get over, but it does get better.

I never was able to have children. I found out after the doc did my hyst that I wouldn't have ever conceived children. My body just wasn't able. I was a mess. I had pelvic adhesions and chocolate cysts and lots of other things. I know now that having the hyst was the best thing I could have done, but it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in my life.

I still grieve for what I'll never have, but I have plenty of love to go around when it comes to my nieces and nephews. I am extremely close to my 16 month old niece and my 4 year old nephew. They are my "babies" and they know Aunt Dani will make em' rotten. They were there when my heart needed some emotional healing. The hole is still there, but at least it's not as big, you know.

It is hard to be this young and have to go through this and continue to go through it. But I know I'll survive. The feelings won't always be so bad. They change everyday. Some days are better than others.

As far as people understanding this, it's been very hard for me to find people that do understand. People can sympathize with my situation but they can't possibly understand. I've found more support online through Hystersisters and Hystercity, as well as some other groups especially for people who have had a hyst.

I hope this helps.

Keep in touch. I'm available by e mail if you need to talk more.

Love,

Dani
age 24
tah bso 11/17/99
chronic pelvic pain and adhesions
childless now, but ADOPTION is in our plans