kid sitting

I just got something... I am still here watching my best friends kids, 12 and 17. I have been here since Jan 15th. I had my hyst on Dec 15th. I really did not want to do it so soon after my hyst, I did not think I would be up to it, and I also had something important durring this time, I had to put off. I did try to talk to her about it and she just did not get it, so I put it out and we had a fight. Well she appoligized to me, and I accepted and still came to sit...

I am crazy for doing this. It was too much too soon. I just did not know how to say no. She is my best friend and I wanted to be there for her, but did not know how to say no to her. She needed this vacation.

But I think it was at the expense of my mental health. I mean I just had a hyst, I cannot have kids, never will. I need time to heal this wound, and not be taking care of kids while I'm doing it. I work with kids and have lacked all my skils in dealing with these kids here. I see now why. I resent being here and am depressed, so how could I effectively deal with any kid now? I cannot....

Well what's done is done. She was due home today, but due to weather is not comming home untill tommrow. She told me to just go in the am when I get her son off on the bus, but I am not comfortable with that. I want to make sure they are here before I go. I mean what if... So I will wait untill they are here.

I look forward to being home on my own, my mother lives with me, as she is sick. Not too sick to be alone for 2 weeks. Thank God! But anyway No kids! I do really need time all alone, I hope to kinda lock myself away for a bit. I have the upper level of the house all to myself. I do not want to lock myself up forever, just a bit... Not sure how to deal with this.

LittleFire, I don't know how this will come across. I really mean it in the most caring way. You risk being taken advantage of when you do not respect yourself enough to take care of yourself. There are times in life when it is good to sacrifice for others. It is very commendable. But there are times in life when it is so important to take care of your own needs. This is one of those times.

I'm sorry you have had to go through this. It is a hard way to learn. Let go of the guilt. Because your friend is used to you saying yes and putting her needs first, she probably was taken back when you resisted at first. She pushed, and you caved in.

She needs to learn about the give and take of true friendship. She has been taking, you have been giving. It's time to find some balance. You both will be better for it.

Anyway, I don't know you or her. I just know that these are lessons I also had to learn the hard way.

Please take care.. and just say no! Don't feel guilty either!

Littlefire, she needed the vacation?? What about you? Did she just have major surgery? This, in my not so humble opinion, is not a friend, she is very selfish. You really should, have stood up for yourself yes, but if she were a friend she would have cared enough to understand you could not do this. She does not care about your loss, and now she is delayed...Again, I do not know how you could call this selfish person a best anything... I am sorry this just was not right. Then, your mother on top of that, this person just thinks of no one but herself!
Sorry I know this sounds harsh, but goodness sweetie this is not right.

Carrie

Can i ask a silly question.....but why do you have to watch a 17 yr old??? why cant he/she care for the 12 yr old??? get them off to school....fix breakfast...lunch.... my 14 yr old son babysits on weekends and nights to make extra money.....if you suggest this to your best friend ..........it would totally give you time to heal.

Actually this was how it was supposed to go... The 17 yr old was suposed to do everything. I was just suposed to be here. Only get up with the 12 yr old cook him breakfast, send him out the door for the bus on time.

Well things did not work out that way. They left on Monday, 2 days late, as their car would not start. On Tuesday am there was no hot water comming out of the taps. (Frozen something) I called one of the people on my emergency list. He came out with a friend. The hot water tank was frozen! He thawed it out. Later that day (kids at school) I hear water running, and go outside into the basement to investigate. Water is pouring into the sistern. I shut off the water, and call again. The guys come out again, fix the first broken pipe to the 5th broken pipe. We have water for a day. On Friday Another broken pipe! The guys come out again, and fix 4 or 5 more broken pipes. They realize they need to come again tommrow and the water needs to stay off. Well they do not come untill Sunday! Cannot repair it, so I must call the landlord.

Landlord says he will send someone in the am. Monday still no water. The Guy comes and says it is frozen cannot do anything, and leaves! Comes back at 4pm and puts a heater down there. Bla bla it is fixed Tuesday by lunch! Well I was the one who had to pick up buckets of water to flush the tolit, as the 12 yr old told me he was putting it in the back of the tolit! I just did it myself.

The 17 yr old was on exams and finninshing up her assignments, so she was busy doing her thing. She cannot get the 12yr old off in the am, as her bus comes before his does. Oh I had to get water from the stream 100 yards away from the house then melt snow down because I almost fell in the stream!

I did most of the things, as I cannot sit in a dirty house and the kids wanted to wait untill the day before the parents came home to clean! Makes sense to a 17 and 12 yr old. But I like a clean space.

So that is how things got this way. Yes you would think a 17 and 12 yr old could do things, but not when Karma has it out for you! I did something to honkerblonk someone off. LOL.... She is my best friend, and is always there for me, so the few times she asks I do. Even if I am putting my health on the line.

What am I to do? Oh well what's done is done.