What is wrong with me?

Sisters, please forgive me for bringing my anxiety here. I feel bad, because I don't want to keep 'whining', I don't mean to, it's just geting to be a bit too much as the surgery draws closer. I had a few complications on my last lap in 1998, and my hemoglobin count went from 13 to 3, woke up during the surgery, almost died. That's why I am high risk and will be having it done in the hospital. Not sure if he will do a hystero. Didn't know where to post this, so please move if necessary.
Anyway, trying very hard to keep positive thoughts. I'm hoping this will pass, I guess some people can handle things like this a lot easier, it just seems that as the date draws closer, I'm so out of balance. My family is trying to help me laugh, this just isn't like me at all. All of this has brought me down a bit. I got up, brushed my teeth, gargled with Listerine, put a ThermaHeat belt on my back, and just took a Vicodin. I have absolutely NO appetite for anything. I'm trying not to make myself worse, or this whole thing worse by my fretting. So frustrated.
Thanks so much for just being here with unconditional understanding and acceptance. I'll never forget it.
Not a good morning I guess, it will pass, thinking positive here.
s galore!
Have a beautiful day!

I just wanted to add, please, please don't think I'm attention - seeking. I'm truly not, just having a bad morning, I know, I don't need to let the whole board know. This better pass.

(((hugs))))
Ok, I'm going now, I wuv y'all!

I don't think you are whining or acting out to "get attention" --- except maybe I think you need some one to help you feel a bit calmer.

Have you talked to the drs about your fears for this surgery?
If things didn't go well in the past it isn't surprising that you are scared this time round.

I think it would probably really help you if you could sit down with the dr, with a list of your concerns and get some replies to help you feel calmer.

You may not end up feeling 100% calm, but I'm sure you would feel better.

I can also understand you don't have any appetite, but try to keep up your liquid intakes so you don't get dehydrated. Maybe try some beef broth or chicken broth -- nourishing and comforting too.

it is easy for me to say "try to relax", but you do seem to be driving yourself round and round in circles. Try listening to soothing music and hot baths... both can calm your spirits.

take care

Hi Angels,
First off you ask what is wrong with you, the answer is absolutely nothing. You are worried, stressed and that is completley normal with what has happened and is about to happen. I have always had fairly easy surgeries, with no issues and I was scared before mine. Also it sounds as if you are not completley sure you are getting the hyst, or it is a wait and see thing. That alone would be enough to drive most of us up the wall.

Take care of yourself, allow yourself to feel all these things, and get the support you need from here, and your family. Enjoy them and lean on them, hard as that may be. Im not saying "oh yeah, laugh and joke even if you dont feel like it", they are most likely very worried also. Spend quiet moments reminiscing, enjoying and loving each other, when your surgery is over and done, they will have those happy times also, and you can reflect on how to make life better. When you are all healed, you will be able to do the laughing, joking, playing and everything you did before, but better!!

Hugs to you
Kat

This is the perfect place to bring your anxiety!

I know how you feel -- I also had a scare once several years after a surgery. When the later problem happened, I was thrown right back to how I felt when I was a little girl (I had the first surgery when I was 3). It was no fun at all. I think that might be a little of what you're feeling, though I'm not sure.

I can't offer you any magic solution to the pre-hospital anxiety, except to echo what has already been said. I must say, though, that music was what really helped me. I'd lie in a darkened room, plug in the earphones, and let the relaxation tapes flow right through me.....

In the meantime, .

Thank you for such understanding and support. It is a beeeauuutiful day here, and I'm going to schedule a massage, like I promised myself to.
CAS, I think I did need someone to help me feel a little bit calmer. I NEVER ask for comfort or help, believe it or not, but I think it's about time! If I can't help myaelf, I'm not able to help anyone My doctor knows my anxiety, we've talked, and I'm just 'holdin on', what else can I do? lol All is well.
The Xanax helps for a while a lot.
Thanks for the tips, and for caring. Only 3 more days....
The massage will help a lot as well.
Hi harleykat, thanks for reminding me I'm not alone in what I feel, at times I will freak, and other times I will be ok. No, I'm not sure if he is going to do a TAH, but there is a lot he is going to take care of. It is a wait and see thing. Yep, it's been driving me up a huge wall! I have been at my mom's house quite a bit lately, I'm pretty much staying there for now. I just said to her last night, I need comfort, hehe I felt like a child, I don't have a hubby or a b/f right now, Scott and I just broke up about a month ago, so I need some time I guess. But I need to learn that these things happen, and it's all for the best. I really want kids of my own, but it may not 'be in the cards' to put it lightly. My family is dealing ok, but sure, I could understand if they're worried. It's a risky surgery for me considering the above.
Thanks for your kind words.
mjd2491, so I did bring my anxiety to the right place! lol *sigh* Your first surgery at 3 bless your heart! You have good insight and I do think that's why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling, this reminds me of the last "bad" surgery. Thank you so much, I'm utilizing everything I can and music is now added to the list
s all around, Bless you sisters!

HI Angels,
I am glad you are feeling somewhat better. As for the massage, book an extra half hour!! hehe Spoil yourself.

I apologize for the 'family' thing, but you can still do that with Mom...She can probably tell you stories about when you were a kid, mine sure does but generally she tells the one about me bein a brat!! Then I get embarrassed and forget my today problems....Just sit and plot ways to get back at her....

Maybe I should come to you, and we could go for a walk. I have had this huge wanting to come back to BC and visit. Dont know why but I feel as though I should be there....If I make it this week, Ill call and we will go for a walk!! rofl

Hugs to you
Kat