When does it all end?(I caution too, kids mentioned)

Ive only written a couple of times, because I too dont want be a whiner. I am so blessed. I know it. But it doesnt help when you are in pain all the time. I just had to have another surgery, 2 weeks ago. My hysterectomy was a nightmare. As I said before I didnt even need one. My doctor didnt have my best interests at heart. I ended up in a coma for a month and had to learn how to walk again. The incision in my stmach had to heal back on its own. Which took almost 3 months. I was left with adhesions on my bowels and bladder. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Since then I have had 5 bowel obstructions, hernias, bladder infections. The list goes on. Now 2 weeks ago I had to have another abdominal surgery. I cant DO anything. Ive gained weight through all of this. But I did weigh 300 lbs after my coma. From the IV(food,meds etc). Now Im at 200 lbs. Now through all this Im also going through menopause. The works too!!!!!!!!!!! I cant stand it!!!!! I cant stand what this is doing to my kids either. We have 7 boys and 1 girl. Plus grands and they are always a nervous wreck when I get sick. Pneumonia is a regular thing with me. I have a damaged lung from the pneumonia I got while in my coma. My kids feel like they cant go anywhere without an ok from me, that Im ok before they do go. And Im NEVER ok. Ofcourse I do lie a little every now and then to the kids or they would never leave me be. Its going to be like this the rest of my life and I dont understand what I ever did to deserve this. Im 48 years old. I use to load a truck with fire wood by myself,, ride my own motorcycle, hike, and it will never be again. 7 abdominal surgerys and probably more to come. Im depressed beyond comprehension... I am blessed also with a wonderful husband. He took off work(he has lots of vacation days) the last 2 weeks to take care of me. Is this what they mean by "in sickness and in health". It shouldnt be this way...I can barely walk in and out of my house....I CANT STAND THIS......Well so much for me feeling sorry for myself... I DONT WANT TO BE THAT WAY EITHER!!! What should I do??? Does anyone have any suggestions???
Sincerely Van

I do not know if I will help you feel better - however, I can somewhat relate...with 7 surgeries in one year for me...and still having problems...there should not be anything left to have a problem with. I too have a very supportive husband and we have 4 (of what we are not supposed to mention here)....
I keep thinking it will be over soon. However, right before number 7 surgery last month, I cried all day long...thinking I do not see the light I used to see at the end of the tunnel.
I am only 30...and am wondering why I, and my family are going through this...? I always feel like a whiner when I type this info here too...and am thankful that it is not terminal - however, having surgery after surgery becomes very wearing on your body....
Good luck to you. All I can tell you is that I just try to keep my head up everyday and look on the bright side...even when it is very hard to find...!
Take care and take it easy!

Hi Ladies,
For starters, you are allowed to mention children on here, and since you put it into the subject line, it is even better. So dont feel bad for that...

Second, it is not considered whining. You tell me where else in this world you can come, tell your problems to and have women who are in somewhat the same boat give you love and support. What i love the most is if something happens that is out of my realm, I can come here, not only get support but quite possibly find out why, where to go for help, and that I am not alone in this world!! So dont feel bad about that...

I feel so terrible for both of you, it is sad when this stuff happens to good women. Van if I were you, I would sit the kids down and take back the 'mom' status. I know they must be horribly worried, but you are carrying guilt over that. Tell them to carry on their lives, and not to worry so much over you. You havent gone anywhere yet, and tell them you have no plans to go anywhere. You need to know in your heart that they have good lives, instead of worrying about them worrying about you. I know it sounds terrible, and scary, but with your DH, you have support and the kids need to live... You dont need that guilt ontop of all you have been handed. Make some kind of schedule for them to follow and MAKE THEM follow it. It is so wonderful you have such a loving family, and that they care so much...Have a huge family meeting and explain this to them...If it doesnt make sense to you, seriously think about it. It is best for all of you, and you know they are still there, if you need them, and also they have lives where they can go away for a vacation and that you are cared for... Do you have any hobbies or interests that maybe you havent explored? Like art, or writing? Things that you can do with minimal movement. Maybe going back to school might be an option. There are so many different things that people can do when they have limited mobility. I am sorry to hear how active you were, and how much that has been taken away from you....It breaks my heart, even though I cannot possibly comprehend how terrible it is.....

I am sending you both huge healing hugs and will pray for both of you, it is true even though it sounds horrible, If it doesnt break you, it will make you stronger and better. You are both awesome ladies, and if you ever want to talk, pm me. You will find here you are not alone....

Hugs to you both
Kat

Van

You have been through a lot dear sister. You did not deserve all this and you are not whining, just venting. I don't know why this kind of thing happens to good people, but you are not alone. There are many here that keep having on going problems with their health.

You sound like you have a nice family and DH that care about you,and for them you are blessed.

If you are depressed maybe your hormones are off, and not just having all the illness and surgeries is causing this. You might see what the dr suggests to help you with this.

If at all possible try to do things, that help you to focus less on what is dragging you down. Sometimes it helps just to get away for a short time out of the house with DH or a friend.

Maybe work on some of those photos of family that need to be in albums or take a class in something you would like to learn to do for enjoyment. I met a lady the other day who is learning knitting and she said it has a way of calming her and giving her something to do when she is sitting around and can't do much.

I get together once a month with other ladies playing Bunco just to visit and socialize.

I will say for you that things will get better. We are here for you . Glad you came here to share how you feel.

s