post traumatic stress

Hi everyone,
After spending many months on this wonderful site and posting my thanks for support and basically signing off, I'm back.
Since having the hysterectomy and a further laparoscopy to remove adhesions, off work for 8 months and suffering depression, I was referred to the Pain management clinic for pains in my groin area, legs and pelvis that had returned.
I did not feel too stressed visiting the hospital yesterday and met a wonderful, listening doctor (female). She asked all the 'right' questions and without warning I broke down and sobbed my eyes out. More questions later she said that I was most likely suffering some post traumatic stress and would refer me to a councellor/psychologist. I had bottled up everything yet it still remained in my sub-consciousness.
She really listened, something that I felt never happened with what I felt was such a traumatic experience, from start to finish. I feel relieved, I know I block any memory of last year, but suffer flashbacks. I came home and wrote 6 sides of A4 on 3 things she brought up 'out of control (of the situation), not being listened too and not treated in the way that I would treat others. We both talked about the 'caring' roles we both have in our work lives.
I dont have any questions here today, there is little about this on this site. Anyone relate?

Love sue

Hi Sue,
I can completely relate to PMSS as I have suffered for years with it...Not sure what you are asking but I will share my story with you!! Mine is not related to my surgery so I hope in some way it helps you.

When I was 16, I had my first abusive boyfriend, another at 17 and one when I was 19. I married the last one, and spent from 1985 to 1988 living in hell with him. When I left him, I think I left some of the memories behind me. But dont worry, they caught up to me a few years back, probably about 7 years ago.

I started having nightmares, and was not having an easy time of it. I was more depressed than usual, and life was generally really tough on me. I withdrew from my family and my friends, and did not want to walk out my door, did not want to talk to anyone. What bought it all on was a robbery that had taken place in a house we were in the process of moving out of. It threw me for a really bad loop. I finally started to see a counsellor and after three visits, my nightmares had stopped, some of my memories came back when I was able to deal with them, and I started to move through my grief and trama.

I know in my heart there are still things I do not remember and choose not to remember. It is a long hard process to regain those memories for me, and quite honestly I never want to think about it again. I am doing well in my life now, and it took awhile to be able to trust again. I still have issues where I push DH's buttons to push him into hitting me, which I can thankfully say he never has. It has taken many years to quell that part of my anger and realize that it is different now, and I am loved, not just around for a punching bag or paycheck.

I really hope you can find some measure of comfort or information in this post. It does get better, as one of the other sisters posted, if you dont move through it, you wont get over it. I am here if you ever need a shoulder....Maybe there is someone on here who can help or has gone directly through what you have gone through...

Hugs to you
Kat

Hi Sue....I know I am not healthy enough to be giving advice, it's not .I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have also been told by my DR. and a therapist that yes, I am suffering from PTSS. The surgery it self is very hard to deal with, and if you're not the one going thru it some people just don't understand. I also talked till I was blue in the face to a few Drs and I felt they were just not hearing what I was saying. Their answers were, You should start feeling better now, but I was'nt and they did their job, the surgery, and everything should be fine. It was'nt and I still am in pain in the lower abdomin area. I have other issues on my plate that have also contributed to PTSS, but the main reason was the cervical cancer and the surgeries. I posted a thread just above yours. The situation is different but the outcome and feelings are the same. I will pray for you just like fellow sisters are for me. Tonya

My heart goes out to you. I have also suffered from PTSD or PTSS. I was in a commercial plane crash 5 years ago-(plane crashed and ended up next to a Gas Station. I did not have a supportive DH and the company I worked for was non-caring which made this all the worse. I was injured and angry for about 2 years after. I was on anti-depressants and therapy.
I managed to get out all the anger in therapy and learned to take control in a loving way whenever I felt out of control. At this point in I can honestly say I am over it.
I am having my LSH on April 15th and am a bit concerned that this trauma may trigger some old feelings but as long as I can live each day with integrity and love, I will be ok
I AM A SURVIVER and so are you. Be so very kind to yourself and know that you are entilted to your feelings. Keep communicating-that is so very important.
Also, know that you are loved

To Kat, Tonya and Wzimmer,
Thank you all for your kind words. Its good to know there are women out there who know exactly how you feel. I feel bad that my 'traumatic' experiences are nothing compared to so many more peoples whole lives.
Apart from my DH and sons, I have told no-one - what do you think? Its not that I am ashamed, just that my friends and myself all have mutual friends that have hard lives, not just a hard year. Plus work connected friends may think I have lost my judgement or something.
I have a stinking cold and ache all over, hope that is the cause of my 'down' mood this weekend, more than renewed depression.
Love to all
Sue

Hi Sue,
Ya know its funny, you wrote how your experience was no where near as bad as others....WRONG!! I used to believe that because my ex husband didnt break bones, I was not abused as badly. It is amazing how we learn to minimize our feelings based on others.

Your experience was as tramatic to you as mine was to me, just in obviously a different way, and part of the process of healing is to understand that. You were tramatized. I dont know the story but something happened, and it was not an 'easy' thing for you. Wzimmer was in a plane crash. Scary, frightening, and thank God shes alive. It doesnt matter what happened, but how it affected you.

We all have different stories, I know a lady who was abused who ended up murdering her husband. She was doing better at healing that I was at that point, because she understood more of what she had been through.....And was willing to accept what had happened, and her part in it. Again allowing me to minimize what I had gone through.

I guess what I am trying to say is this, dont worry about our stories, yours is just as horrendous and uncalled for as each of ours. We all heal differently, from surgery, and from other things, like PTSS. You take care of you, and yes, we can certainly empathize with and sympathize with you. we are all here for you, to help in whatever way we can.

Much love
Kat