Desire gone

I'm finally coming to grips with the idea this is a problem. Surgery was 14 months ago and there has been one failed sexual attempt since that time. I've been sitting here thinking about it and probably the 18 months before surgery had sex less than half a dozen times.

I've been married six years, so that's almost half of the marriage. That's really sad when I think about it. I've been doing some research and figure must be HSDD. I don't think about sex, even the things that used to make me weak in the knees has no response anymore. I've tried to give it a try with self-stimulation, but nothing, not even a tingle.

I've been using progesterone cream since last June and started the Climara patch in January this year. Actually feeling pretty balanced except for this issue. I'm not depressed, been there several times before and can recognize it right away. The progesterone helps prevent daily headaches and started the patch because after a year of the hot flashes/night sweats, I had enough. I guess this is my next issue to do something about, need something for the dryness/itchy issue from possible atrophy (maybe Vagifem or Estring) and have testosterone tested.

Got a question that maybe I should post on the hormone jungle site, but I'm going to ask along with this post. The vaginal rings, such as Estring, are they left in during intercourse? Do the men feel them, if they are left in? And what if DH is significantly well-endowed, would this not be painful for both partners?

Hello, Diana!

I'm sorry that your libido is missing. I know from experience what an awful, frustrating feeling that is. It sounds like you are working to find hormone balance and that's good! For many of us that is key to making us feel right again.

I haven't used Estring but from reading in the Jungle and on the internet it can be removed during intercourse and put back in place after. I would think it would be a matter of personal preference and comfort. Also, I did read a post or two about it causing irritation for the male. If I were using that product my preference would be to remove it. There are other products to consider for vaginal dryness/atrophy. I used to use Vagifem which is a tiny tablet inserted with its own applicator. There's no mess with that one so you might want to consider it. I'm using a vaginal estrogen cream now which is effective, but it can be a bit messy.

I hope this helps! Good luck in your quest for hormone balance and the return of your libido. We are here to support you and help as best we can.

s