Going back to work, feeling depressed, Can't Sleep!

Hi all
I am feeling a lot better. I have to admit that. I will be 8 weeks post op on March 25.

I am going back to work on March 28, but I feel kind of depressed about it and apprehensive. I have a pretty busy job as a secretary so I know it will be back to the old rat race.

I have been sleeping better, but tonight here it is 1:43 am and my eyes just don't want to close. I drank part of a chocolate malt earlier in the evening. I just don't think I can eat or drink anything chocolate or that has caffeine in it in the evening.

We are raising our granddaughter so next week will be work for both of us and school for her. (The rat race)

Even though I had surgery as I have felt better I have been able to cook and at least had the house in some kind of order. Whereas when DH and I both work we just come home and get some dinner for us and Granddaughter, take care of her needs and then usually crash.

I think I'm afraid of us arguing.. because I know I will still be kind of tired for a while and DH usually has to work some overtime.

Does anyone else feel like me... I guess at 53 I'm not career driven anymore. I just wish I could stay home and have a less stressful life. But, I do have a good job, and have a good retirement plan where I can retire at 60. However, raising a 7-year old is not an easy task. Although, I believe we have been blessed.

I know I have had it easier than some who have posted here. I got to stay off 8 weeks. (This week is Spring Break and a free week since I work for the School System). I had enough sick leave to cover me so I've gotten full pay the whole time I have been off. For the most part my DH has been wonderful. The only bad part of my recovery is when we all got pretty sick with that awful flu and strep throat that was going around.

I'm really not complaining, just thinking outloud to other women.
My DH took this week off and since I've felt better we have done a little Spring cleaning which makes the house look so much better and all three of us are in our church's Easter program.
We have been practicing pretty hard this week for (4) performances. My church's web site is if anyone is interested.

www.positivefuture.org

Anyway, thanks for letting me think outloud. I'm sure things will turn out fine. I guess in a way it's just kind of (scary?) going back after 8 weeks. And I hope I'll be sleeping better.

Good luck to the rest of you. This site has really helped me. I would be interested in how others feel about this situation also.

Thanks...
Sandy

Sounds like you have a busy life. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you resume your "normal" life next week.

I will start back working outside the home on 4/1. I have gradually increased what I do at home (housework) and some work for pay from home the past three weeks. I also joined Curves on Monday. I spent yesterday with every joint and bone I have aching and took a walk hoping to keep things moving. I went to Curves 2 days in a row and then didn't go yesterday. I am enjoying the socialization at Curves. The past two nights I have not slept well. I think maybe I am a little anxious about returning to a full-time busy schedule. I have to keep reminding myself that it can take up to a year to heal from this surgery. Perhaps we both need to be more patient with ourselves. I expect to come home from work and do very little the whole month of April and I don't even work full time! I know school secretaries are very busy people. My mom was one for 18 years and I have done substitute teaching and observed how busy the secretaries are. Continue to take care of yourself now--just think how it will pay off in 7 years when you retire!!!

Guess what...Its 3:00 a.m. and I'm still up. I will feel it in the mornig...lol. Sorry I can't be much help just a listening ear as I am stuggling with simuliar issues. I wish our church was doing a Easter Program but I will look up yours. I know I love worship time when I can tell MY Father how thankful I am that he loves me more than I even understand. It's good when I focus on Him and not me, His will and not my own. But It's been harder and harder to do.
I will be praying that we get our strength from Him.

Happy Easter

Shari

I started back to work this week at 6 weeks (on Monday) a few hours a day. I've been struggling with some of the same issues i.e. can't sleep at night, getting back in the swing of a demanding job, taking care of and getting two little ones, 5 & 7 off to school, activities, etc. In our house, I've always handled most of these things. Last week, my husband jokingly said, "my 6 week contract is almost up," when I didn't feel up to taking ds and dd to gymnastics. It has been hard for me because I've always been active and busy and I'm learning I just have to say, "I can't" and mean it when I really can't. My recovery went slow with some complications that I'm still dealing with and I'm realizing I CAN'T go back to the way I was. Sometimes, unfortunately, I think my husband believes I can, so we still need to sort that out. Yesterday he stated, "when It comes down to it, I know you will just do it (in reference to a work problem) because that's the way you are." Funny thing is he is encouraging/pushing me to get back to the way I used to be (and I know I just can't.) I think he liked me the other way better because I was so driven, could accomplish a lot, and it meant less for him to do.

I guess after reading your post I'm thinking you have sooooo much on your plate and I know raising a grandchild is a lot harder then me talking about raising my own. I really would encourage you to look at everything and try to balance what is important and what isn't . . . . maybe somethings don't have to be exactly the way they were before. Also, I did find that although I didn't feel ready to go back to work, being there a few hours a day has helped me to start dealing with people again. I was so isolated at home and seemed it was hard to focus on real life, but when I got back to work realized how much I missed people. That helps, especially if those you work with are encouraging. Hope this helps a little. And of course, since it sounds like you have a faith, pray about all this. Maybe He will open a new door you never expected, or close another door, or give you MORE strength to keep up. You never know what He has in store for us . . .


jmw

I love reading posts from people all over the country who sound just like me! I'm 6 weeks today - my dr released me Tuesday for all but intercourse. He did a silver nitrate treatment and pronounced me released. I still ache some when I stand too long and I have pulling around the ovaries (or where they were) sometimes. I'm going back to work Monday and really dreading it. I am also a school secretary at a blessedly small rural school so I really have it good. I have enjoyed being home since I've worked since 18 years old. I miss my friends at work but this domestic diva stuff is kinda fun. Luckily our spring break isn't until April 25 so I'll be off again soon. I too go to Curves and will start back again Monday - gently. I'm usually pretty active and have been incredibly lazy for 6 weeks. It's gonna be hard and I worry about arguing too because I haven't even snapped at anyone during this whole time. I've been really relaxed and content. I don't feel up to par yet and I don't like that but I'm trying to be patient. God will protect us I'm sure. I direct the church choir but I took it easy this Easter. Next year I'll make 'em work! I love my hystersisters.....hugs!

Thanks to you sisters who have shared your feelings so far.

A I said last night I couldn't sleep. I finally went to bed at 3 am
and got up at 7 am.

My husband is off this week and has been trying to get our house in order for next week. I was so tired this morning I went ahead and took granddaughter to her day care. There are lots of kids there to play with.

DH and I went to Wal-Mart and got stocked up on some groceries, etc, and then went and had lunch.

To sum it up... I AM POOPED! I'm going to just go get in bed and sleep for awhile and pray I'll sleep tonight.

Like I said, I'm feeling much better, but the tiredness is there if I can't get my rest at night.

I'd still like to hear from some more sisters who feel like I do... Mixed Emotions about going back to work, etc.

Thanks!!

Sandy in Kansas

Hi Hyster Sisters,

I was terrified to return to work because I couldn't imagine how I would manage to teach my 4th graders while operating on only 3-4 hours sleep each night. But honestly, it's the best thing I could have done for myself. Getting back into my old routine has helped with everything. I'm sleeping better, and feeling more like my old self. Work is a good distraction and it helps to mentally tire you out as well as physically fatigue you. It really has helped with the sleep thing.

Good luck to you all,

Sue

I returned to work after 8 weeks!

Hi Sandy,

I can empathize with your feelings about returning to work - ESPECIALLY with a 7 year old needing your time in the process.
That's another full time job in itself.
I'm 51 and NOT looking forward to returning to my job at all - and I have 2 weeks left before I have to return. My kids are older teens who can fend for themselves too.

Even our office manager (who had a hyst last summer and returned to work in 3 weeks - against orders - the indispensible type?) kept telling me I'd be bored well before my 6 weeks were over and ready to return to work and if I wanted to come back earlier for even just a few hours a day, they'd pay me for full-time days, as long as I needed to do that arrangement. (They know my work ethic too well)

WELL, I AM NOT BORED, I DID NOT accept that "couple hours a day" offer, I'm seriously considering BEGGING my dr. to make me stay home a few extra weeks (I have the accrued time if I want but I need a dr. note for this long off) and how bad is this....I told a friend today that I honestly wished I was just starting my 6 weeks recovery-she stared at me. I hastily added, "NOT for the surgery part, but so I could stay home for 6 more weeks!"

It's really not the job (although I'm job searching due to $$)
I think I just truly want to be at home right now.

Very strange - I've worked most of my life and always before, even after vacations, have been ready to get back into the work swing. Normally, I WOULD be the one cutting short my personal time & all that. (I even re-scheduled my hyst so someone else could take a week off for a more minor medical matter and created a health problem for myself doing that).
But NOT this time. I REFUSE to look at a calendar - it's going too fast!

Do you think it might be hormonal or maybe our bodies know us better than we know ourselves and are sending "Not yet" signals to our brains or what?

Any creative suggestions to tell my job why I MUST stay home after 4/10 would be most appreciated

Take care. s

I feel so bad for those dreading going back to work. I went back today, 4 wks and 2 days post-op. I was torn. I love being home and playing with my friends but I love my job and needed to feel useful again. I am 52 years young.

I did just fine putting in a full day today. I am an Admin. Assistant so my work was piled high (99 emails too!) but I just took it one piece of paper at a time. It is now 11:30 pm and I'm just now getting sleepy.

Good luck to all of you and I hope going back to your jobs isn't too stressful.

Hugs to you all.
MrsJAS