How Long did you actually need help at home?

I need info on this...
My hubby is accepting a new job and we will be moving to NC from PA. I'm thrilled over this move but the timing certainly couldn't be worse. All of my family lives in the south. Thank God my mother is going to be able to come up for a week and my hubby can be here the week of the surgery but I hate for him to take weeks off to be up here. I want to do the surgery in PA because I know and trust all my Doctors and would hate to move to a new state and have to have this done. How long did you actually have to have someone doing everything for you? I am cooking and freezing so that won't be a worry. My oldest son is at school during the day and I have a sitter for my 3 from 7-4. DH will be home on weekends. Think I could handle the basis by myself by week 3? The cleaning can wait!

Thanks in advance for input

Dremmie,
I'm two weeks post op today (TAH kept ovaries). I don't know if I'm abnormal or not, but here's my story....We had huge blizzards right up to the date of my surgery, my mother in law was going to come the night before surgery and stay til the day after. Didn't happen because the interstates were closed and she lived on the other side of the closed roads. She and her hubby did make it to town on Sat. (my surgery was on Thurs)I came home from the hosp. Saturday evening. Sunday DH got up to go to the Air Guard Base and the inlaws left our home about 10 or so to head to the airpost and off to Mexico. DH got home about 2:30 that afternoon. On Monday, DH headed off to work just like normal but came home during the day to check on me. Mostly he left me alone so I could really sleep and rest. We had leftovers frozen and stored in the freezer upstairs. I didn't clean anything except myself - took a shower everyday. Now at two weeks post - I'm doing more each day but keeping time set aside to sleep and rest with my feet up. I hope that you have as easy a time as I did. In the beginning, I was nervous about being home alone, in retrospect, I'm glad I was - I had all the time I needed to sleep and rest, could shower whenever I wanted to and didn't have to feel that I needed to entertain anyone.
Best wishes!

My dad came to help out. He wasn't a lot of help. He was eldery and then passed on 6 months after my surgery. So it was not fantastic having him here but it he felt like he was helping.
I enjoyed the help I got from my DH. And then my church family provided food for us. Friends would stop over to see how I was doing and I thought I had to be available for them and visit. I think that Linda hit it on the head about being alone to rest. That is the best thing you can do for yourself the first 2 weeks.
You said you have food in the freezer and cleaning is not a problem I think you will be fine. It would be nice to have someone check in on you from time to time. Just know that there are things that you absolutely should not do and dont do them.
Blessings

Hi,

Someone who had abdominal surery gave me this advice and it was a great help : The first two weeks are essential that you do as little as possibile (except for a short walk). I had complications and had to go back for more surgery, so I had about three weeks...around week 4, I was starting to feel like I was strong enough to do stuff, but really wasn't.

My family who came from town was no use to me whatsoever. My sister spent more time upgrading her web site (her job) and was so lost by the French-speaking environment that she didn't go out unless someone was with her. They were more of a nuisance than help. My father needed someone to look after him and I felt like the good hostess. He is hard of hearing, so it hurt when I had to scream to talk with him.

It's just that by around week 3 or 4 you start getting antsy and want things to get back to normal. I tried being SUperwoman and cook a pizza and could have burned the house down because it took me so long to get to the oven and bend over to take it out. And since I needed both hands to take it out, I almost dropped it on the floor because I was holding my stomach. I had the lady downstairs help a little. Enlist the help of friends to come and spend lunchtime with you or come and just sweep the floor once or twice.

I was left on my own around Weeks 4 or 5 due to a business trip and I really felt a difference when I had to get up all the time to do everything. Even picking up the stoneware dishes was rough. It really adds up over the course of a day.

Emily

Dremmie,

I think it is different for each woman. How extensive is the procedure going to be? No lifting of kids! I have 3 mos. of no lifting over 10 lbs staring at me. The only child left in home is our 13-yr. old son, who can do most of his own care. We also have a 13-mo. old grandson. Lap sitting should be okay as long as someone puts him up there and I have padding for my tummy. All the help you can get from DH, kids, family, and friends will make all the difference in comfort.

I am 8 days post op w/a TAH/BSO and Burch bladder suspension. I went into the Castle on Wednesday the 7th and was scheduled to go home Friday nite. Nausea and vomiting w/ Percocet all day kept me in till about noon Saturday. I had little appetite that morning but upon discharge all I wanted was a Subway deli-style turkey sandwich and iced tea. As a matter of fact, I craved it! At least my appetite was coming back strong. DH immediately put me to bed and did everything, including regular temps and walking me around the house everytime I was up to the bathroom (about every 1.5 hrs.). He is taking a week's family leave to make sure I don't overdo anything. Mostly he is just there to wait on whatever I need. Each day I find I can do a little more. Yesterday I made the both of us a light lunch. I can bathe myself in a shower (though I much prefer baths) with some limitations on bending (leg shaving is a chore). Just got finished w/ one unassisted. DH is nearby just in case. I can also put laundry into the wash machine and sit at the dinner table for meals. The key is no lifting and making sure I listen to my body. My doc says that maybe after 1.5 weeks I can go to the mall for a light walk, though it may be in short, slow, shuffled spurts.

Mostly I deal w/ gas and pulling sensations inside. (I dread the thought of how many sutures inside keep me all together!) My hips hurt a lot, but I am not sure if it is from lying in bed or from the procedure. Take prescribed pain meds and whatever else you need to see to your comfort. (I needed suppositories to have first BM in a week since bowel prep before surgery. That made a BIG difference in how I felt!) Most important, follow your Doc's instructions and don't hesitate to ask question, even seemingly mundane ones.

Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any other concerns. God bless and best wishes.

Sherry L (TAH/BSO w/ Burch bladder suspension. 2-7-01
[Edited by sherry lawrence on 02-15-2001]

Dremmie,
I may have been one of the "unusual" cases as well. I stayed in the hospital two nights, came home, DH and I walked around our neighborhood (it was just so great to be home), then he tucked me into bed.
We kept the Advil and plenty of water on the nightstand in case I needed any. He stayed home the first week, answered the door when the florist made deliveries, answered the phone to let everyone know how things were and kept me amused. The second week friends would stop by, bring lunch, dinner, etal, but I was fine by myself. Though extremely happy to see everyone, I was very tired after everyone left.
I was probably a bad princess, but went up and down the steps as I needed. DH is a firefighter and works 24 shifts, so I was by myself quite a bit. (He also has a part time job on his days off) When he was not home he would call many, many times, but he does that anyway.
When I think of it, I don't think he did any laundry. He or my son would bring it down, I would sort and fill the machine. DH did the grocery shopping and made sure there was plenty of fruit, Raisin Bran, tomato soup (my favorites).
Not having any family (other than my darling hubby and sons) I have always been used to taking care of everything. Luckily, I didn't have any major side effects or problems so I was fine by myself.
Yesterday I had my 5 week check up. The doctor gave me the okay to resume activities as I could. I went to the gym today, not quite my regular routine, but it felt GREAT to be there.
Just take it easy when you come home, listen to your body, for we all heal at a different rate.

Peace and Good Healing,
Dee TAH/BSO 1/9/01

Hi

I'm approaching week 3 post op and think I'll be able to handle bathing by myself and can get something out of the frig to eat, etc. HOWEVER, if I had a three-year-old to deal with every evening by myself I think I'd be a basket case. My two year old granddaughter has been here for visits, I love her dearly, enjoy her company, but am truly glad when she goes home.

I think you will be tempted to do things you shouldn't do and that it would be really nice if you had somebody to help in the evening until you know for sure you can handle it yourself.

We are all different. We all heal differently. But NONE of us should be dealing with a moody toddler at three weeks. And we all know those times are unpredictable . . .