A safe place to vent/whine

My surgery is still a few weeks away. I won't find out the exact date until my pre-op on May 16 but likely dates are May 25 or June 1. This post isn't really a question just the need to say how I am really feeling in a safe place.

Surgery suddenly became much more real today. This is partly because I finally have most of my grades turned in for this semester and have slowed down slightly from the crazed rush of the last two weeks (it was two weeks ago today that I found out that I would be having the hysterectomy). The other triggers were being very tired and having to go to the hospital complex for a mammogram. When they put the admit bracelet on my wrist it was all I could do to not cry.

I am starting to feel scared about the surgery and recovery and what I am losing feels more painful. On top of that my body is doing things I don't understand which in addition to making me physically even more uncomfortable than usual also make me worry about even making it to my preop without another ER run. For the first time since high school I seem to be missing a period and the pressure and pain is rapidly increasing, my legs and feet are swelling like crazy and for the first time in my life constipation is an issue. I don't get why the sudden shifts on so many levels.

I feel like I have to keep a calm and composed face on for the world but what I really want is to be reassured and nurtured just a little. I just need to have the option to not be strong and independent for just a few hours.

If it wasn't for this site, I think I would totally lose my mind at this point.

Oh Shirley I am right there with you. My hyst is in 8 days. And I have been strong and not really worried. But then I had a bad night with pain that woke me up. And I just couldnt' get back to sleep. Every thought was about what could go wrong. And I just
wanted to be able to cry like alittle kid to someone and them tell me it would all be okay. That life will be so much better after the
hyst. I know how you feel. You just wish for once, just once, you
could be the weak, needy one and cling to someone else who's the Rock of Gibraltor. Well, you can cry here if you need to. And you can be scared. I understand. We all do...

Here's to sending you some cyber ((((((hugs)))))) and you can
relax and breathe a little easier.

Hi Shirley!

So many of the sentiments you expressed are exactly how I was feeling as the date of my surgery drew near. It's a very stressful time full of mixed emotions for many of us. We know how you are feeling!

I'm extending my hand to you to hold during the darkest moments!

Many s to you,

You are the right place....I whined here all day yesterday!

In less than 12 hours I have to be up and ready to head in for the big day. Surgery at 7:30 a.m., arrival time 5:30 a.m., alarm set for 4:00 a.m. as we live 1 hour away. I am a little tense, but feeling 100% better than yesterday.

Good luck with feeling better, & you have heard it a 1001 times before.......hang in there!

Hi, I understand exactly how you feel. I am one week post-op today. Last Sunday night, was another story. At midnight I was sitting in my bed crying and I couldn't tell you why. Cried all the way to the hospital, nervous and scared all the way until they wheeled me back to surgery. I would have to say that all the things I was nervous about, never happened. Wishing you the best! It will get better.

I am SO with you, and my surgery isn't even happening until June 10! I've never had a major surgery, but now I'm scheduled for this and I guess the wait is partly what's giving me the time to be twittered! Also, I've been doing a lot of spontaneous crying lately, and I'm almost wondering if I'm somehow mourning my soon-to-be-lost "parts"??? That's really weird, no?

However, I have a good friend who just went through this (TVH/BSO) in November, and tells me that she thought the worst part of the whole thing was the worry beforehand, and that she woke up in recovery thinking "what was I so worried about?"

So we'll just hope and pray that it goes that way for all of us nervous types!!!! Good luck...

Anne