6 Weeks - "You've Recovered Now!!"

Reading all your responses really helped me feel "normal" I have been feeling anxious about my 6 wk Dr appointment today AND I have been annoyed and frustrated with people all around me expecting me to be back to my normal self.
I am very very lucky though that I have a wonderful support system, my husband and immediate family and best friends all respect my feelings and are helping me through my healing process.
I find that people from work are expecting me to come back after my appointment and to go back to my life as it was before my cancer/operation. I might look better on the outside BUT I still feel affects from the operation AND emotionally I have a lot to deal with.
THANK YOU, everything I read here today helped me alot.

What types of questions should I be asking at my post-op appointment. I had a radical hysto (kept my ovaries) 6 weeks ago to remove, cervical and glassy cell cancer.

It has been so encouraging reading all these posts! Thanks everyone. I'm at 6 weeks and worry a bit because of continuing intermittent pains and a continual yellow/brown/greenish at times discharge. As I said on another thread here, I don't get a post-op internal exam unless there's a problem. Yet I have fears and questions about what's going on in there. I will get to have a nurse check me in two more weeks (that'll be week 8) if I'm still concerned. I can see how you feel, Rowdy, about not wanting one! I don't want one, but I do want one and feel a bit short-changed.

Lucida

Hi all, great news! I went for my 6 week check-up today and I didn't have an internal exam. The doctor asked me if I had any prolonged bleeding or discharge and I said "no" as I haven't.

He just felt my tummy and around my incision area and also felt my back - around the kidney area?? - don't know why. He was very pleased with my incision scar and said it was one of the tidiest he'd seen after only 6 weeks post-op.

I told him I'd already had bloods done a couple of weeks ago and they came back fine.

He then confirmed what I had been told before about the results of my histology report being all clear.

I asked the usual questions - restrictions on lifting, driving, going back to work etc etc.

I have been cleared on all accounts - so I went out for a short drive when I got back from the hospital and I was fine.

He said that above all, I've got to still take it easy and listen to my body. Of course, I'm not going to dive straight in and do too much. I'm still not confident about resuming sex again just yet so maybe I will leave that for another couple of weeks just to be sure.

So, thank goodness I don't have to go to the hospital again. Now I just have to see my own GP to keep a check on my HRT.

Rowdy.

That's great news, Rowdy! Hurray!

Rowdy, I am much further out than you...next week will be 4 mo. for me. And, I can tell you...I am nowhere near "back to normal"! I still get "sent to the recliner" (in fact, just this past weekend ) and have no idea what I did to overdo...the point is, you are still early in recovery. It takes a long time to heal and your body will let you know if you are overdoing it. I will tell you that people who have not "walked in our shoes" have no idea what our bodies have been through. So, take it easy and continue to feel better. Time is a great healer! I feel better every week, and try hard to "not overdo"...that's a tough one, though! Good luck!

Hi Rowdy,

I understand and sympathize with your feelings. My DH and I finally had to bump heads to try to get him to understand that I couldn't just "be my normal self" by flipping a switch. I had two surgeries so it seems I am taking even longer to heal physically and 3 mo.s out I still have a good day followed by a resting day.

My MIL was filling his head with stuff too, about HRT being unnecessary (its all in our heads) and that I was making things worse than they needed to be (just needed to toughen up).

Add to the mix that we had been living apart for 15 mo. while he worked out of state and you can imagine the stress level in our house has been high. But I finally let him know he needed to "Mature Up" and be there for me and that finally got his attention. He is trying to be kinder and gentler and I am doing the same. He made me realize that he is confused and scared and isn't sure how to deal with all these changes either. The more he calms down and is loving, the better and less stressed I feel so I can be gentler and more loving with him.

I have to say that girlfriends have been a livesaver! And reading this board and seeing so many others having the same experiences makes things easier to handle. Thanks to everyone for your time and sharing.

Hi Rowdy Angel,

We were same day sisters. I too am 33 - had a birthday 4 days after surgery. Don't have children. Glad to hear that everything checked out with the Dr. I had a two week post-op appt. (not internal) and he told me all the same things. I don't have my internal appt. until August.

I haven't had any problems with bleeding, discharge, incisions either. I've actually been back to work on a part-time basis since the second week and now I've been taking care of my boyfriend who broke his back since my 4th week of recovery. We actually tried a little intimacy this weekend at 6 weeks (wasn't supposed to until 8 weeks but couldn't wait any longer) and everything worked just like it did before - I was thrilled and relieved. I even asked my boyfriend if everything still felt the same and he said yes. I was on top so that I could control everything - it helped that he is flat on his back right now!!!

Although all that sounds good, I still have days where I am very tired and I have pains that just show up here and there. Sometimes little sharp pains in different places and sometimes little burning sensations. A nurse friend assured me that it is part of the healing and nerve ending regenerating. I also have days where I am just an emotional wreck and just need to cry. Things haven't been very easy these last couple of weeks.

Hang in there and keep your chin up - you are doing fine. You know your body better than anyone else. You have the right to have a bad day or feel tired or be upset or whatever you want!

Hope that you are feeling great today!

Charlene

At least your DH gave you 6 weeks! I've been wondering if my family are the only ones who aren't angels!
I was never able to take it as easy as I should have, let alone get treated like a princess. I did the best I could and took what help I could get. I also hired a part time Nanny. Fortunately I've done well in recovering anyway.
I bet I would have more energy and feel even better if I could have had more R&R!
My DH is not very sensitive, quite preoccupied and eager for me to be more help to him. He also has a lot on his plate.
We had our wedding anniversary 3 weeks before sex clearance. He forgot! I also had to remind him of my 1 month hyst anniversary, last Sat. I insisted we go out to dinner. We went out without reservations, kids and all and I got no toast. I'm not feeling as romantic as some sisters do. I wonder why?!

Dear Wizecrone,

Your life sounds like mine! I'm 4 weeks post-op today and feel a bit resentful that I haven't been able to relax and take it easy as much as I needed to. My DH is also very busy, and although he didn't forget our anniversary last Friday, he has been difficult in other ways to the point that I don't want to ask him to do anything. He will carry a basket of laundry upstairs once in awhile (on his own time), and he is taking care of most of the lawn and garden work. Other things I can't do yet just aren't getting done.

Unfortunately, my doctor misled me a bit, too. When I scheduled my surgery for May 31, I told him that my daughter is getting married on July 2, and I would be taking care of my 7-year-old, very active granddaughter for a week afterwards (week 5 post-op). He told me I'd be feeling great by then and not to worry. Guess what? I'm not feeling all that great. Fortunately, my daughter's future in-laws have offered to babysit Kylie part of the time, and I plan to take them up on it, but I'm honestly not sure I can get through ONE 24-hour period. She wears me out in one day when I'm at my best, which is NOT now. She knows that Grandma is still recovering from an operation, but she's just not the type to sit around and play dolls for long. I plan to call upon as many family members as I can to take turns with the babysitting and hope they will cooperate, but I'm still the primary caretaker.

One of the lessons I hope to learn from menopause is to get more assertive about asking for what I want or need and less concerned about whether others approve of that. Well, this hysterectomy has certainly offered me a perfect opportunity to start doing that, and I don't feel very successful yet!

Queen Bee

One thing my DH commented on was that I have certainly learned to say NO. What he doesn't know is that I am also not feeling guilty for saying NO for the first time in my life. I was making myself sick trying to meet everyone's expectations even after having the gallbladder surgery right after the BSO. 3 mo.s out I am still having pain as my reward. Now I am just doing what I am up to doing and not letting anyone pressure me with guilt at work or at home.

I think menopause is when we as women finally start putting ourselves first more often and it can be a rude shock to family, friends and coworkers.