I am so Frustrated! HELP!!!!

hello!
My surgery date was June 13th also. I had an attempted LAVH but unfortunately ended up with an emergency TAH, due to my uterine artery ripping. I lost an extreme amount of blood and ended up in the ICU overnight. I came home on June 17th. I am unable to take Motrin or Toradol due to my bleeding. I have to rely on the Demerol and I do take 2 colace daily for my bowels. I am very emotional. I cry all the time. I'm not sure if it's because I am so tired from the blood loss and I get frustrated because I am still not able to do simple things without getting wiped out, or if it's due to my hormones. They left my left ovary in (took the tube), and they took the right ovary due to several cysts.
I think my main problem is my frustation. I feel guilty about not being able to drive my kids, go grocery shopping without feeling like I am going to pass out, or not being able to work. I should let you know that I am a nurse and I am not used to being the one waited on, I usually do all the waiting! My DH has been and continues to be wonderful. He reminds me daily that I had major surgery 2 weeks ago and I need to atke it easy. He will not let me do ANYTHING though! I tried to go to Walmart to get a few groceries with him and he wanted me to get a motorized cart. Of course I knew I could walk through the store. Let's just say that i made it about 4 isles before I had to give in and sit down! LOL!!
I know I am overdoing it. My swelly belly tells me every night. I am worried though. When I came home from the hospital I had minimal vaginal bleeding. Ever since Thursday, 6-23, I have been draining serousy, brown drainage and even this weekend I had some tissue that came with the drainage. I am not running a fever but I am still worried about the amount of drainage.
My incision feels warm over the left side, it's not red, but it is hard. I have been putting a heating pad over it to help with the drainage. But like I said no fever! So am I being a "whiny gyney patient" or is this normal?
I really do appreciate any advice....As it is now I am crying! LOL!! This web site has been a lifesaver for me for the past two weeks!

Lisa
TAH/RSO due to severe endo and adenomyosis!

I am sorry that you are feeling frustrated but it is perfectly normal for those especially in the service professions like myself (I'm a cop). I am 9.5 weeks and still have hardness around my incision and my incision is a keloid (hard raised rope). I have not yet been released to go back to work.

Reference your discharge. I had a reddish and then brown discharge for about 5 days after surgery then it quit and I haven't had anything since. I would always let the doctor know about any discharge or anything else you wonder about in case it is something that needs addressed with medication. At least it will ease your mind to know.

Sit back and let others wait on you for a change. There will be plenty of time for you to go back and help others. Your body only gets this one chance to heal right so let it. Enjoy it.

Well, is it true that nurses/doctors make bad patients?

I would say that you may be overdoing just a tad. I was not able to do *anything* as far as driving or light housework for about 3 wks, and even then it was *very* little. I also had a TAH (everything removed) and 12 fairly large fribroids. This surgery kicked my butt! (sorry) I am almost 4 mo. out, and still can't do everything that I used to do before surgery. So, I have resigned myself to the fact that my body will be healing for quite some time. I do what I can, and the rest just has to wait until I feel up to it.

Take it easy...you know the drill, I'm sure. Being a nurse, I would think you have some idea of what has taken place So, be a good little princess and get your rest. Things do get better, but it just takes some time. Slow down, quit fealing guilty, and let your family pamper you. Believe me, you deserve it!

I also had surgery on June 13th and it sounds like our complications were similar. I was already scheduled for a TAH but had internal bleeding after the surgery and had to have an additional procedure to drain the blood clot. I also recieved 3 units of blood and developed some breathing problems my hospital stay was 6 days instead of the 3 day stay I had been anticipating. I was extremely frustrated and weepy when I came home and also found it difficult to be unable to anything for my children or around my house. I am taking iron twice daily and I think it is starting to help. I also began to have some bleeding this weekend and when I contacted my doctor he said it was probably the internal stitiches dissolving and things moving around. If I were you I call my doctor and see what they said. I hope you begin to feel better soon and remember you not only had major surgery you had major surgery with complications.

I had TAH on 06-06 and I am using this time to remind family of exactly what it is I do all day every day! This works particularly well since they are now doing it!

Doc told me to expect vag discharge for 2-3 weeks and said it was secondary to healing.

Please don't over do it. You only get one chance to heal properly - let's not waste it!

Sit back and relax and letothers help you, for a change! I know it's hard, but try to enjoy it, guilt free. I am!

Mine was June 15 and I am so whiney I am afraid they will all hang me out in a tree and get it over with. From day one, I think I pushed it (or went along too much I think) - Went in on Wed at 7:30am for 9:30am surgery but had even walked 2 miles that morn at 5am. Just today went for that same 2 mile walk around our lake and I feel like it is taking TOO LONG ! But I know I have to give it time and DH is making me. But I got dismissed on Friday afternoon the 17th and we'd gone back in to watch our boys play softball (church league) and we didn't think it was anything but these country roads turned out to be too much. Then next night- DH tried to pry me with food in town that I'd missed out on. Another trip that shouldn't have taken - I just sat there but the bumps are too much. Then church next morn= do nothing and get pampered but stayed too long for a picnic lunch and nearly passed out in parking lot. Then home all week but I felt like it went too fast, I was too slow, and I didn't get any sleep or rest in between. (Like for the time it took you to get a shower, they were all home or ready to have a meal together and you sit there while all of them flurry past you.) Everyone has been helpful = but not as much of EVERYONE who SAID. But a few have been VERY diehard and VERY helpful. DH and the boys are but I got myself into a small supper last night for others and it should not have happened that way. Taught both DH and I a lesson- let EVERYONE ELSE do it and invite US over to THEIR kplace and if they visit here- it wont be for a meal for now.
I can dust - but not deep cleaning. I hope to get to that maybe by next week again. Can't run sweeper yet, as that DOES hurt to pull. But I did manage to VERY SLOWLY Sweep and mop floor and that first time was not too great but the second time was ok like it always had been but you won't see me doing it more than once this week ! I am too weak yet. But the first time was BEFORE the supper and then after it, well, it just made me cry a whole lot. I got myself into that and wished I hadn't.
I can walk up to 2 miles- with help. Can pick berries (I ALWAYS ahve a 1 hour time limit becasue there are just too many and it does get hot. I keep that limit even when I feel great over the years.) I can HELP with supper and I even made two pies with my berries ( I have four gallons frozen so far plus the two pies) but pies are a cheat- you BUY the rolled dough and all you do is mix in the sugar, butter, salt, and cornstarch. Pour into shell and bake an hour- not even heavy and well under my 20 pound limit. (HAHA ! He lets me 20 pounds is my limit because he said I was in really good muscle shape ! I walk and run (only 1/3 of that 4 miles) every day with two big dogs who pull, so my arms are really good. Otherwise he would have said no more than 10 pounds.) But still- there's not a whole lot in your house that is UNDER 20 pounds !!! I can do dishes and wipe things down. I can do all laundry= but make them bring it all to me every night as always is their job anyway. DH does big loads and moves them and then they all carry it back if it is big load. I can feed pets and help with little things on pool cleaning, but the yard and mowing is OFF LIMITS for 6 weeks.
Seems like I cannot sleep well, still on pain meds for my back and the cuts from LAVH, and my legs get numb some and I have lots of bruises showing up. They said that was from surgery and will go away. They want me to take the pain meds till we get back from vacation- more travel. We did make it to family Reunion on Sat and that was fun adn DH actually got off work early and drove down to join us. I didn't get to play golf with everyone, but I got to watch and take pics and walk a little bit= not on the course though. I am taking all afternoons to lay out and rest and read alot.
Right now- the boat is ready and DH asked the Dr if I can take a slow ride alone. he will take the boys out on tubes and skis (Now THAT really STINKS !!!! I will miss ALL of that this summer!) and I get to ride the slow pontoon and watch. The family rented a cottage instead of Grandma's house on the lake which got sold. So we are on our way there and it will give me more time to lay out and sleep. I hope that helps because I am so emotional all the time thinking of what I miss out on and I didn't want any of this to happen in the first place.
BMs are a miracle but I looked over what you all are taking so I am going to keep on with the laxative that I gave up on after only two times. Maybe that will help. I do the gasX (that is HORRIBLE to have so much gas) and DH is trying to help me and hold my hand and just help me through this time. God meant for me to do this for some reason. I will have to just "Be still and know that (He) is God." and not try to control everything. Younger son does all the vacuming and they are doing all the other things and more when I say or ask. So that helps alot. I just am afraid that others will take one look at me and say "Oh she is FINE- she can make it out HERE !" and not know that I feel like POOP most of the time. And the inside 100plus stitches plus the little cuts on the outside are not my idea of a fun picnic and they will take THREE MONTHS to dissolve and I am on restrictions for that long when I dont' want to be. I hope people will give me time to heal and not think I am not trying. I know my own DH and sons know the real deal. And they don't expect anythign more than I can do. But I think others think I am faking it or something. I dont know. I know SOME know the deal because they are THERE for me. On the Net, in person, or by mail or phone (to DH), but you know how fickle others can be. And selfish too I guess. I just want my LIFE back and get back to NORMAL and every time I feel like a step forward- I get THROWN TWO STEPS BACK !!! This really stinks !

I was anemic after a previous surgery and stayed completely exhausted for 3 or 4 weeks. Anemia added to major surgery, no wonder you don't feel good. My gyn said 2 weeks at home doing NOTHING, then slowly get back into your routine. You are doing too much. As has been said so many times, you only get one chance to recover the right way, slow down and let the people who love you help you.

Oh my, it sounds like you're doing too much. Without your complications, at two weeks I was still on the couch. Take little walks and if you want to exercise, fold a load of laundry. I don't think I helped cooking dinner for a full three weeks and then started making some meals around that time.

You only have one chance to heal right. And you only have one chance to have your DH take such good care of you. Believe me, it goes by fast enough. And then at the end of six weeks and you look better, everyone will think you're better and you'll wish they didn't.

We women have such a hard time not being super heroes. It's been drilled into us for our whole lives.

I do hope you take it easier.

Hello,

I didn't have any problems with my hyster. I had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy in July 04. I almost bleed to death and had no idea what was happening. I lost about 6 pints of blood when it was all over. I chose not to have a blood transfusion, so with almost half of my blood lost, the DR told me it would take about 6 weeks to get it all back. I felt like poopoo. I was pale & very tired all the time. And on top of that I had to take about 1200 grams of iron a day, and that was really bad. I felt like poopoo, but I couldn't poopoo! So when you lose that much blood it takes a long time to feel good again.
Good luck & take care

Tammy
TVH 4/20/05

Wow Fireman's Woman, I am 3 months out today and just reading your email made me tired girlfriend! It is still all I can do to go to work everyday and come home and do much more than a short walk, dinner and crash on the couch.

I do know that the more you allow yourself to relax and heal the faster you will get back to normal. Doing too much too soon causes tears and adhesions that have to reheal and put you back in pain again and can cause you future problems.

Take it easy on yourself and you will be back to normal faster. Don't worry about what other people think you should be doing. Listen to your body. Take Care!