Need HELP with a non-supportive boss!

Dear fellow Hyster-Sisters!!!
I am truly in need of some advice as to how to deal with an unreasonably unsupportive, personally intrusive supervisor. Let me preface this by saying I have been consistently under my PCPs care since April attempting to one, figure the source of my "please just shot me now pain ", and two, what can be done to give me back my life!
Good news - my LVAH is now scheduled for the week of 9/12 [HMO referal gods please be kind]. In the interrim, I has been constanted badgered for an "exact date of surgery and expected date of return from my supervisor, to which I replied, when I know,YOU'LL KNOW. We have a very small company, a total of 8 employees, so when my supervisor is being an obvious wench to me, EVERYONE is privy to it. Unfortunately we are not large enough to have an HR dept to confer with, as the wench is HR. I am by my own admission am overqualifed for what I do, which is a call center desk job, but enjoy it emmensely because it fits in very well with my desired lifestyle. I do have an extensive professional background in HR, but am really stumped as to handle a hostile situation such as this, when the only person to go to IS THE PROBLEM!!!!! Any advice would be very much appreciated!!!! Thank You!!!

Hi Empress in O.C.,
I think that (sometimes) you can get more attention with honey than with vinegar. It is an old saying, but it may just work in your case.. First, let me say , that I have had just two female supervisors in my working life, and you sometimes have to treat them like a mother. You know you want to please them, but sometimes they can be bothersome. I found that a little lighthearted approach works better than an out and out "barging ahead" approach. The one lady, I found out later, had some serious health problems, and it found it's way into her way of handling her "charges".
Certainly, you may not want to get too chummy, as I notice , which is good, but , you may want to have a one on one talk with her, and start by saying, " It sure is frustrating not being able to give you a definite date on my surgery, and I know it makes a hardship on you as far as scheduling . Let me know how I can make your work load better in some other way, so that we can both be satisfied with the outcome." I wish you better luck . From Reeni

Thank you so much for your support in this!!!! I did mention to my boss thst my doctor is anticiapted at least a 4-6wk recovery time, told which she said "well, I''m sure you will be able to come back sooner than THAT! Honestly, her attitude and inappropriate remarks on the office floor {not behind closed doors in private} has had me SERIOUSLY considering not returning at all, which is an inclination that has not been rushed to in haste

I'm sure your supervisor is only concerned with how your absence is going to affect her. Will she have to do your job & her's too. Will it interfere with her vacation plans, etc. It's obvious she's not concerned with your health. When you get your date, go tell her and tell her again that the doctor said it will take 4 -6 weeks. You hope it will only take 4 but it may very well take 6 - it's up to your doctor releasing you. Suggest they hire a temp if the work you do is not too complicated and if it is complicated, tell her you'll be glad to show other employees what you do. Then enjoy your time off without any guilt. I was only out for 3 weeks due to financial reasons, but I sure did enjoy being away from work those 3 weeks. Best Wishes!

Jean

Thanks a bunch Jean! You are 100% correct my health and well-being has nothing to do with her attitude. Ironically, she nor anyone else is going to take on an extra workload in my absence, since I answer a minimal amount on incoming calls, less than 10 a day I had an appoinpment with the OB/Gyn surgeon about a week and a half ago, which required me to take a day off (she was informed in advance mind you.] When I got home that evening, she had left me a voicemail requesting a Drs note, which REALLY rubbed me the wrong way, since no other employee has ever been requested to do so. As matter of fact our employee handbook only requires such a note after 3 days in a row of absences. What I find even more distrubing is that she would like my Dr to explain to her in explicit detail my condition, which as we know is NONE of her business!
If there is a fellow Sister out there with an HR background who could help me deal with a supervisor who has NONE, your advice would be most welcome!!!!!!

It is really none of her business and leave it at that. Have your doctor write a letter stating you will be unable to work effective whatever date to whatever date. Even what KIND of surgery you are having is NONE OF HER BUSINESS!!

What she is doing is LEGALLY and MORALY wrong. I taught HR for management in a multi-million dollar business for over 15 years. If she continues you do have legal resource. Her actions CAN be construed as harrassment. She is maintaining an uncomfortable work environment. Also, she obviously is not following her own organizations employee handbook. Your personal business is NOT hers. She has an obligation to maintain consistancy in discipline. Document everything in case it becomes necessary to take further action. Let her know it bothers you.

Take your time to heal. I am 4 weeks out and WAY behind due to various complications in healing. Originally I was told 6 weeks and am now at 10 weeks. We all heal differently. Take the time advised by your DR to do it right.