I cancelled my 9/20 surgery today

I couldn't believe the anxiety I felt the last several days. I was busy with work, home and getting things in order for the surgery. It was always on my mind even when I was busy.

What it came down to was I wasn't completely comfortable and hadn't reached acceptance for the surgery. My body is more than ready, just not the rest of me. I said to my husband "I have issues".

I called the MD's office today and said I had to cancel Tuesday. I got: "oh?" and silence. I wasn't ready to get into it with the staff so I said I'll call back and hung up as quick as possible. (yep, chicken)

Am I nuts? Probably. Has anyone else done this? And when they did have it done how was their doctor? I can't even begin to imagine what mine is thinking about me.

You have to do what is best for YOU! Follow your heart. Mine is in about 36 hours and I am full of last-minute doubt, but I know this has to be done and I have accepted it, it's just that as the date draws nearer, the fear is kicking in. Big to you! I wish you the best!

Hi Tracey
Thanks for the big hug. I should be sending you one for your surgery. I wish you the best of luck with it. I am so happy the you found the strength and courage to overcome your doubts. I know I have to do it. I've already had 3 doctors tell me I need to do it. I just can't get the acceptence part down. You are very sweet not to say anything negative about my decision. Thank you.

I agree, you do have to do what is best for you. It's your body your decision .........I always try and listen to that inner voice inside,when and if you are ready you'll know.
Wishing youthe best

I'm in total agreement with everyone. You have to do what is right for you. We are all here to support you no matter what you decide. It is your body and you should approach surgery with complete certainly. Many s to you!

s, Deb

Hi Margaret MM - This is a very permanent solution to a problem so you need to be sure. Who cares what the doctor thinks of the decision - the important thing is that you are comfortable with it. I certainly wouldn't have any surgery until I fully understood the consequences and benefits of it and was sure it was the right thing for me. What you did is actually braver than going ahead to 'save face' and not disappoint anyone. Good for you! Best wishes for the future.

Hi Margaret-

I completely understand your being nervous -- I'm at that stage myself. But like everyone else has said, you need to do what is best for yourself - not anyone else. When the time is right, you will know it. Don't pressure yourself into anything you are not ready for or that doesn't feel right for you!

I've read many postings where others have said the worst part is the anticipation and waiting before the surgery.

Take care of yourself -- and know everyone is here for you!

I hear you sweetie...I had my LSH monday and cried really hard in peo-op, hubby did too...this is just so very hard. Listen to your heart and dig deep for inner strength for an answer. i too almost cancelled and today being 4 days post op am still sad but have peace with my choice. Once you find your peace you will know what to do honey! I will pray for you and your serenity!
Nicole

You've clearly made the right decision for yourself. This operation has more significant implications for some women than others. I am 52 and have 4 children and 8 grandchildren and have had years of horrific pain and bleeding but it took those years to give me the strength to say enough is enough!!! The surgery was the right thing for me and I have had no feelings of loss whatsoever . I have just felt relief that I no longer have to worry that I'm going to start flooding with all the embarrassment that goes with it. HOWEVER I felt out of my mind with worry prior to the surgery .IT WAS BY FAR THE HARDEST PART OFF THE PROCESS FOR ME and it involved fear of the anaesthetic because I was high risk. It was so comforting to me to learn that every one else in the ward had made provision for their family in terms of leaving letters or instructions. Once I had learned this we all managed to have a good laugh about being such wimps !!! If you do decide to go ahead don't think you will be free from fears because it is perfectly natural to worry. I don't know the reasons for your proposed surgery but I have been humbled when I have read about women with cancer embarking on this road. My heart also goes out to childless women having their choice of parenthood denied. I equally admire women with heavy domestic responsibilities. We have all got major problems if we require this surgery so we have to certain that it is the right time for us and that we have explored all the other options. I hope you have someone to discuss your fears with and am sure that any future decision you make will be the right one. I have always found the best way for me is through prayer.
God bless
Jean

Margaret

You'll know when the time is right. As soon as you *regret* your decision to cancel, then that is the time to reschedule.

It doesn't matter what other people or the doctor think ... they're not having the surgery! All they can do is advise and it is then up to you to make the choice.

It's a big decision and you need to do what's right for you. You're by no means the first person to cancel.

We'll all be thinking about you.