I really need some input from other women about this subject.
I'm 47, and I had my first gyn exam in 4 years last Friday. I sat through what felt like a very rude interrogation, he was brusque and very short with me while I tried to explain what my problem was....he cut me off repeatedly and did not seem to be truly listening.
I have another rectocele and an enterolcele in my vagina, they're kind of like a hernia. I've had some serious damage done to my vagina when I gave birth to my daughter at 18, my cervix and vagina tore very badly, I had like 60+ stitches up in there!!
So, that's when the problems all started!
I've also had a uterine suspension, a tubal or ectopic pregnancy, a vaginal hysterectomy and had a previous rectocele repaired & my vagina repaired with "donor material" grafted in to strengthen the lower vaginal wall. My vagina is also much shorter in length now from all the surgeries, so having "marital relations" is actually quite painful! I also have constant pain in my entire lower pelvic region...this could be because of adhesions from all my prior pelvic area surgeries, it could be from the rectocele, it could be anything.
I'd also had a mammogram done about 40 minutes before I went in to see this doctor, so my 42DD breasts were extremely sore and red from the mammogram.
After the interrogation process, he had me get up on the exam table & lie down to do a breast exam...........unlike every ob/gyn I've ever had in the past, this guy was EXTREMELY rough and actually roughly tossed by breasts back and forth, quickly jabbing around and around, jabbing & stabbing his fingers in a very fast motion into my already sore boobs! I have NEVER in my life had such an experience as this, most doctors use the flat of their fingers, slowly pressing around the boobs more like a massaging motion, rather than the fast, painful jabbing & juggling motion he used! It was awful & humiliating, actually!
Then, as he began the pelvic exploration part of the exam, he began by again jabbing and stabbing his fingers into my lower stomach area, pressing so very extremely hard, that I'm positive that even had I been a completely healthy individual, he would have inflicted undue pain upon my body!!!! He jabbed me so amazingly hard, I was certain that he would stab his fingers right through my skin like a knife!!!
I surprisingly do not have black & blue marks on me, but I'm still very, very sore and bruised feeling all over my lower tummy, in fact I now have new aches and pains down there that I didn't have before his exam!!!
He inflicted sooooooooo much pain on me that I started to shake uncontrollably from chills, and I cried so hard from the pain & humiliation.......he actually told me that I was having a "Pain Induced Adrenaline Reaction"!!!!
He continued on with the extremely painful exam, explaining to me that it was necessary to press as hard as he could so that he could determine where "My Pain" was coming from. Well, by this time I was in such extreme pain all over, so I couldn't say which pain was what....I just laid there & cried!
After the exam & I had gotten dressed, he asked the nurse to "go get a number ten" and I went in to give a urine sample. I re-entered the room & he began to explain to me that my vagina is shorter in length because of all the surgeries & "nips & tucks" I've had, so this is the obvious reason for the "discomfort" while having intercourse, he then proceeded to unwrap "the number ten" and began to describe how to employ it to stretch my vagina into a more comfortable length! The "Number Ten" is an acrylic 10 inch long dildo looking thing, designed by the Mayo Clinic to help female patients who have been born with a shorter vagina.....and I should be oh so flattered & privileged to get one, he says!!! He then tells me that the rectocele is not that bad, that I can live with it and the pain it causes me, & he does not recommend surgery to repair it.
Well, by this time I'm in a pain induced shock & awe at this guy, I could hardly say anything....I just take the big, giant "number ten" thingy, cram it into my purse and want to get the hell out of there! I call my husband to come & get me & when he does, I ran into his arms and began to cry hysterically, because I'm feeling as if I'd been violently raped & abused. It was the most horrendous ob-gyn experience of my life!
I don't know if I should report this guy for inflicting so much pain...or if I should just forget it & obviously never go back to him, ever.
Please help me by responding to this message! My friends say that I should report him, but I quite frankly don't know how or If I should, or what the ramifications could be if I did....I imagine that the exalted Clinic would ban me from their doors!
Thank You in advance to all those who respond!
That guy sounds like a sadistic misogynist! Never, ever return to him. Whether or not you file a complaint against this abusive ***, please, please see another gyn. You deserve gentle, respectful, excellent medical care. Great doctors are out there. I am so sorry for the pain and humiliation that idiot inflicted upon you. Please don't put off scheduling an appointment with a good practitioner.
Thank you for your empathy & input!
I have no idea of how to go about finding a new and gentler Gyn, all my best friends live outside my state, so I'm unable to poll my buddies to find a new one thru them!
My husband was so upset on my behalf, he's trying to financially figure out a way to send me up to Las Vegas to see my previous doctor, whom I loved & trusted!! He was a gentle, funny man with an excellent bedside manner, who's actually in our insurance provider's network, so the appt. would only cost us $10 if we could just figure out the expenses of traveling to Vegas!
How does one go about finding the right Gyn??!!
geokitty, two thoughts come to mind. First, call your former gyn's office and ask his nurse if she or the doctor could recommend anyone in your area. The other possibility (and some nurses wont do this) is to call local hospitals, asks for the maternity and or surgery unit, and ask a nurse! They usually have the best recommendations. Don't give up.
Ask a nurse is a wonderful thing! Also talk to your general practitioner and see if you can get another referral. You also MUST report this cad. Doctors like him continue to practice as long as they have their patients so frightened they keep their mouths shut. Good Luck to you.
Oh, I am so sorry! My first GYN was not very gentle, but compared to your experience, he was wonderful! Please, never return to that GYN again! What a horrible experience for you! No dr should ever treat you in such a manner!
Best wishes finding a new GYN. I was referred to my GYN by my primary care physician. Do you have a primary care dr? If so, I would discuss this past visit with my primary care and ask for a recommendation for a new GYN and the pros and cons of reporting this GYN! You should never have been treated as you were!
Good Heavens girl, I live in Phoenix and am glad my Dr. didnt do that. You can call the AMA (american medical association) and report him. I have had simular exams like that at a Military Hosp. with women obgyns. I had a woman do a rectal exam on me and with my hemroids(sp) she rammed her fingers up and caused a tear, she said oopps.My husband dont even get to do that, lol. My obgyn is so gental and commpassionate. If you would not mind the travel over to West Phoenix, I would give you his name and address. Just e-mail me. All my nieces go to him and he has delivered all my great nieces and nefews. I highly recommend him.
Oh My Gosh!! I had a female military doc that was rude, too...I swear that woman kept her speculum in the freezer!!! I was in the Air Force many years ago, and had a rather rough exam but nothing like you experienced and nothing at all like I experienced last Friday!
I am still so sore and bruised, I don't think I could handle another exam for at least another week or more.
I don't have a primary, our insurance doesn't require one, we can just go see who we want as long as they are in the network. I was pretty ill last month, I vomited for 5 days straight & ended up very dehydrated & had to go into the hospital for a day for IV fluids & extensive tests. They still don't know what caused all that puking and excessive stomach acid, but I did find out that I had a gall stone!
I'm thinking of going back to the nurse practitioner that I saw first to see if she can refer me to a Gyn.
I would very much appreciate anyone's name, no matter where the doc is located, I don't mind driving to Glendale or Timbucktoo for that matter, as long as I never have to go thru that again! Thanks!
What a horrible experience. Some doctors clearly missed the classes on bedside manners! I'm so sorry that you had to go through that! You could search on the web for gyns in your area, and check out a few websites. They might have a section that talks about their philosophy of patient care. It would at least give you some insight into a few doctors before making an appointments.