Help w/mother in law

I'm new to Hyster Sisters web site! I'm getting a little nervous about my hysterectomy and what I'll be able to do after. I'm scheduled to have my hysterectomy on Dec. 21 (4 days before Christmas) My mother-in-law tells me, they have no stairs I can come for Christmas. If I get tired they'll just lock me in a room to rest. I'm not even positive its going to be a TVH or TAH. Dr thinks he can do a TVH, but is not positive because I'm severly retroflexed. He's also checking me to see if I have Von Willebrand Disease. (blood clotting disorder). I'm not sure if that will make a difference either. Is going to at least a 8 hour Christmas dinner even a possibility 4 days post op? Any help would be great!

First of all, I' want to give you some s and assure you that feeling nervous about your upcoming surgery seems to be very normal. I know that I was nervous with emotions all over the place while I was waiting.

Your restrictions and recovery after the surgery will differ a little depending on what type of hyst you have. But, at 4 days post op, I doubt if you'll be interested in attending a long function of any kind. I had a tah/bso and just got home from the hospital at 4 days. I wasn't much interested in eating for a few more. I think that before you answer your MIL, tell her that you need to discuss it with your dr first. That way, you have a good way out, if you need it. 4 days post op is sooo very early in your recovery, no matter what type of hyst you have.

The distance to her house might make a difference too, I was very uncomfortable on the trip home from the hospital - it was about 20 miles.

I'm sending you lots of good wishes and prayers. I hope that all works out well for you.

Hi klgbusdriver,

Well, 4 days post op, I wasn't doing anything except sleeping, drinking water, and talking short walks in the house. You didn't mention how far away your MIL lives. Also, she did make the offer to let you just rest in the bedroom. Is she good for that offer? I was not even comfortable sitting up (like at a dinner table) for more than just a few minutes at a time. I also wasn't wearing any real clothes, just very loose comfortable lounging clothes.

I would not have been up for any socializing or real conversations because of the lingering affects of the anesthesia and the pain pills I was still taking.

Why not tell her that at this time (to prevent unpleasant disagreements and stress), that it sounds like a plan, but you will have to play it by ear and see how you are actually feeling. Maybe, if they are close enough, they could just bring some food over to you and DH if you are not feeling up to the dinner at their house.

You could always ask your Dr when he releases you from the hospital to give you orders NOT to leave home. Dr's can be very helpful with that sort of thing. My Dr ordered me not to step out my front door for the first week at home, and that was without my asking.

I am thinking that between you, DH , and the Dr, that you can come up with something that will not put you in the "hot seat" with your MIL.

s,
Kay

I had to be very blunt with my mother-in-law, giving her all the gorey details, before she became even a little understanding of my reluctance to resume my normal routine with her post-op.

Why not kill this in the bud and say that you spoke to your dr and he/she forbids any such venture away from home? Chance are if you do ask your doc you won't be stretching the truth much.

I came home at 3 days and could barely prop myself up at the table for dinner after the 20 mile drive home. And I felt GOOD. The same thing the next day. I felt good but I had to start the meal by telling my family that I know they'll understand if I go back to bed after eating, and not linger for conversation.

My kids BEGGED me to take the 200 mile trip to my brother's for Thanksgiving. I told them, "We'll see", because I'm such an optomist. But once I actually had the operation I realized I wouldn't be doing myself or them any favors by traveling so soon post-op.

Good luck and remember, you may well feel terrific post-op but you are still healing, not to mention eliminating the effects of powerfull anesthesia on your body.

Give it time because you will never have the 1st chance again. I've found that most people don't have the foggiest idea how important this post-op period is for my health, but I've adopted the attitude that this is their problem, not mine.

At four days post op, after a shower I was ready for a nap and I had a LAVH. Two weeks post-op I went out for 3 hours and I was in bed for 3 days after and felt like my insides were on fire when I got home. My opinion is that 8 hours anywhere other then your house and your bed is too much. Can they bring dinner to you? I like the idea of telling you MIL that your doc said "NO WAY!". Good luck and take care of yourself.

Jen aka Jiggy

I'm with the other ladies on this one. My doctor wouldn't let me leave the house for a week after mine, tah removed everything. I found that even walking around a little bit a week later sent me to bed for 2 days. My Dr. ended up giving me 8 weeks off work to recover and I still had to take it easy at work. Maybe your mil can bring Christmas to you? That way, you can get up and visit when you feel like it and sleep when you feel like it. Also, when you go in the hospital, ask them to make sure you have an ice pack on you before you wake up. That saved me a lot of pain afterwards. OH YEAH! I wear glasses and they had them for me when I woke up because it made me sick on the stomache to not be able to see clearly. You are going to be just fine.

I didn't leave the house for 8 days after my LAVH/BSO. I have to walk up and down stairs and barely made it up the stairs to get inside after my surgery! I was exhausted half way up them and slept the rest of the day! I am glad I waited 8 days to leave I would not have gone anywhere before that! And after my first outing I didn't go back out for another week! Not from pain but to make sure I was getting enough rest. The last thing I wanted was to end up back in the hospital from complications from doing too much. Your surgery seems so close to Christmas that you really can't make definite plans about it since you don't know how you will feel. You may end up feeling great and going but I wouldn't make any plans in advance. I would tell my MIL that we would just have to wait and see. Take Care and Good Luck!!!

Thanks everyone! Its just I was not her favorite before, but for the last year things have been much better and I didn't want to end up in the dog house again. If I do, then I guess I do. I don't want to over do and end up off work any longer then I have too.

I came home at 9:00 pm from the hospital on my 4th day, you may still be in the hospital. I don't think you feel like resting anywhere else but home, sorry to give you bad news.
Just tell her you will try and make it, little white lies won't hurt. Sorry you are getting such a hard time.

Hi driver,
I had a similar situation w/my mother in law. When I told her about my hyst date she said, "great, how will you make to Sally's confirmation?" (my niece) The confirmation was 4wks post-op, and a 6hr drive.
I just kindly told her I would not be attending. All were pleasantly surprised when I was able to come (dr's ok) after all.
I don't think you will be able to handle leaving the house at all, and by saying so right away, you wouldn't need to hear about it, anymore. In fact, I would call the dr, and get the "no go" note now. Why put yourself through this stress? Right now, this is all about you! Taking care of mom in law's feelings (though her invite may be well intentioned), is not condusive to a good start in your recovery process.
I'm only saying this stuff because I care about you!
You will be so tired, and sore. Please take it easy.
I hope you have a wonderful, peaceful holiday!
LL