Keeping The Faith?

I have always had a strong faith, and have prayed regularly, however I am finding it hard to keep my faith in the past year. Not really a "why me?" attitutude, but just "what happened"?

DH and I have worked in a proffession for the past 25 years that put everyone else's needs ahead of our own, and I feel very abandoned, and that it has been a waste of our lives. (I know realistically that it hasn't).

I know that some of you sisters have managed to keep your faith through all of this. How do you do it? What is your secret? How do you keep believing in a Better Power when there are no answers forthcoming?

I know I still have much to be thankful for, and that I am on the receiving end of many blessings, but I just can't blindly accept all of this, and I never had that problem with faith before.

Jeannie

Years ago there was a TV show called "Real People." It was NOT a reality show but real people in strange or odd or unusual and sometimes very wonderful, giving situations. One show featured a group of Catholic monks who were also volunteer firefighters. A host asked once, "Do you ever dou8bt your faith?" to which one of the monks replied, "Yes. Many times." And he was still a monk. I doubt too--and it always comes back--sometimes differently, but it comes back and I look at this as a chance to grow.

Dear Nine,
I realize that you've just had a tough round of doctor appoinments. Depending on how it goes, you can spend a few days feeling deflated and utterly alone. It is a horrible sensation that must play itself out. Thankfully, human nature and our faith eventually pull us back up.

I think that faith is a journey just like a marraige. Sometimes, we work hard at it; sometimes we don't. Sometimes we really need each other; sometimes we don't. Sometimes, we are SO thankful for our spouse's presence in our live; other times we wish they would go away! For me, faith is like that. It is present in varying amounts throughout my life. Sometimes it's there when I least need it and other times when I need it the most; it just can't be found. Please know that it will turn up again soon. Something will happen that will make everything seem better.

Wishing you peace and calm till it turns up again.

Beachball

s Jeannie

I am probably the wrong person to answer your question, but I will tell you what I think.
It is easy to have faith when times are good!!
Your questions are arising when times are tough.
It is only natural to ask questions. Everyone has doubts sooner or later. Even if they deny it.
To me God's best promise is that we will never be alone.
Not that faith will forever protect us from heartache on earth. Just that he will be with us on this difficult journey.

oxoxox karenann

I've never been very religious in the traditional sense, but through this my faith has become much stronger - it's not just a spiritual faith but a faith in doctors and family and friends. It's like when you meet that one person but you're scared of committment - you just have to let yourself trust.

And that is what faith is to me, trust in the people caring for me and trust in a higher power. I know that I'll come out of this a better person and that is for a reason. Perhaps you need to let others look after you - it's your turn to be cared for.

It's not fair - I look at mean people and wonder why they are healthy and I'm not. But still I'd not wish this on anyone else. There are always people who have worse things happening to them. I've spent so much time reflecting on things over the last few weeks.

I don't have answers really, just that you have been thrown a curve ball, and it's one that will make you see everything differently. Perhaps, after cancer, things will seem better and brighter than ever.



Z x

Save me, O God, for the floodwaters are up to my neck.

Deeper and deeper I sink into the mire; I can't find a foothold to stand on.

I am in deep water, and the floods overwhelm me.

I am exhausted from crying for help; my throat is parched and dry.

My eyes are swollen with weeping, waiting for my God to help me…

But I keep right on praying to you, Lord, hoping this is the time you will show me favor.

Psalm 69:1-3, 13 NLT

i find that during good times, i tend not to pray as much...i figure everything is fine...but it's during the hard times that i rely on God's help and He has never disappointed...He might not have answered my prayers in my time, but He does in His time...we all doubt, we're human...but the Lord will carry us through whatever is going on in our lives...

Oh boy. I had a hard time with this. I had a real hard time feeling 'lucky' when I had cancer. People kept saying that I had so much to be thankful for, that I was so 'lucky' to have the kind of cancer that I had, so 'lucky' to have it caught fairly early, lots of 'so luckys'. I was ready to scream if one more person told me that I was lucky to have cancer and I should be thankful. What's 'lucky' about having cancer and needing chemo and radiation?
I never felt 'why me' because I know that cancer can strike anyone. I was disappointed that pap smears didn't work at all for me, but stuff like that happens to everyone.
I did trust my doctors. When I began treatment it didn't occur to me that there was any chance it wouldn't work. Doctors always fix things, don't they? We just have to do what they say and it will be all better. How naive I was! Once reality sunk in, I worried constantly about a recurrence. I didn't fear death as much as I feared the treatments. It's very hard to face terrible treatments without reassurance that it will be fully successful.
As I progressed on the cancer journey, I grew closer to God than I have ever been. I thank him daily for having been successfully treated. I can appreciate now that I was lucky. I can also appreciate little things that God gives me daily, like a beautiful warm day in January, a perfect rose blooming in the snow, my kids who make me laugh everyday, the discovery of a new gospel singer who touches my soul, a convertible that allows me to appreciate those rare beautiful days in January, and my dh who bought me that beautiful car when I was in treatment because he wanted me to feel better and the discovery that he isn't nearly as clueless as I had sometimes assumed.

Faith is a journey, just as cancer is. God doesn't move away from us, but sometimes it is very hard to feel close to him. He knows that and he understands that. He'll be there when we drift back.

Jeannie, I am guessing that your professions have changed lives. How can that be anything but good? Changing a life is always worthwhile. I am sure that your efforts have been appreciated by others, and by God. But I completely understand your feelings. So much sacrifice, and for what? Because it was the right thing to do, for you, and for others.

Cancer is overwhelming, so many emotions, so much turmoil. I would highly recommend seeing a professional counselor to help you to work through all these normal, but new and overwhelming, feelings. Your hospital or clinic should have a social worker. You can start with her and ask about referrals to counselors and group support groups. I found an individual therapist to be of help, along with some anti-anxiety medication when needed, and a wonderful support group of women who all had some kind of pelvic cancer. Your local cancer center may have such a group. I highly recommend it. I still go to my group, in hopes of paying back, (or is it playing forward), some of the support that I got when I needed it.

Big Hugs to you. You'll get through this. We're here for you and so is God. He'll be there for you whenever you need him.
Janie

Jeanine
I heard a theology professor say that when we are questioning our faith, we have not lost it at all. It is still there. If we had lost our faith, we would more than likely not be questioning. After all, when we lose something, we tend to forget about it as it is not there, we quit looking.

It is ok to be angry about the things we have in our lives, to be angry at God. He will welcome us back when we come back. The Psalms are full of wondering why God is allowing bad stuff to happen.

For me the believing is that I believe that my life to come in heaven will be far better than this one here. By keeping my eyes on that, it is a bit easier to deal with the bad things that come my way here.

s
Jane

Hi, Jeanie,
I sent you a private message because it was more random thoughts and things that have helped me.

In part, I'm reminded of "Footprints in the Sand," a poem by Mary Stevenson:
"...But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.”

Dear Jeannie:

We are all human, the feelings and thoughts you are having right now are normal. God made us in his image so that tells me he understands what you are going through right now.

Please pray and ask God for peace and understanding and be willing to accept it. (And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, he heareth us. 1John 5:14)

I think I'm the biggest worry wart that ever walked this earth but when I feel crazy worrying over something I try to remind myself that worrying about tomorrow is like paying interest on something I don't have.

A verse in the Bible that I like a lot is: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Colossians 4:13. It says in the Bible that God is greater than our heart, and He knoweth all things. 1John 3:20. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart: and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths Proverbs 3:5-6.

I hope you don't think I'm trying to preach to you, I'm just sharing with you things that bring me comfort. I will be praying for you. Please let us know how you are doing.

Love and Prayers,
Donna