I'm scared that no sex will lead to no marriage

HELP MEEEEEE!!!!! I'm 7 months post op this month and i am having the WORST time with intercourse. My recovery has been wonderful, but the one kickback is that it HURTS during intercourse. When I say hurt i mean that it feels that when my DR was in there he MUST have made the opening SMALLER because it feels like it!!! Is it me? Am I going crazy? We've tried lubricants thinking it was dryness, and heck, it may be dryness on the inside and I just don't know that but man, I CRY and I'm SCARED to get too "friendly" with my DH cos I'm scared it will lead to sex and I am not only scared of the pain, but I'm embarrassed too. I'm afraid of my marriage going sour because we aren't as "close" as we once were-our 2nd wedding anniversary is on Valentine's Day and I'm dreading it because I'm scared I'll let him down <again> and cry and wince while trying to be intimate......oh please...if there is anyone out there who can relate or may know what I should do.....HEEEEEEELLLLLP!

(((((Schmo)))))) I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. I'm 9 months out and yes, I have had a rough time also. If you could take a moment and let us know what you have tried. I tried about 5 lube products and still felt pain. I got a syringe to put some "up" there and that helped but still pain. Then my NP swabbed me and I found out I had strep bacteria down there like crazy and I just finished some antibiotics for that. She said I looked irritated and red down there and that's when she tested me. They don't often do this so you might ask someone to. I am also taking an estrogen creme 3x a week. Yes, I have my ovaries and my hormones are at the right levels. But they just aren't traveling down there yet. I have noticed since I started using the creme that I don't have to run to the bathroom as much. That I feel, well, fuller down there and not so shriveled. So the creme is definately helping. ..But Schmooz I want you to know that I completely understand how you feel. My DH and I have only been married for 14 months. We've had relations maybe 9 times. And 3 of those were after the LSH.
And I feel worried too. And I also feel that aversion to starting something that will only lead to pain. It helps me so much to talk to my DH and he is so kind. He can see me trying. I'm sure that yours can see how hard you are trying to. How much all this means to you. It might help to lean on him and talk. I know it will help if you tell your dr everything that is not working. Even if it sounds silly or emotional. That's how my NP was able to help me.
I wish you all the best...

(((HUGS)))) I went through the exact same thing. It's Vaginal Atrophy, and yes, you are smaller down there, due to shrinkage.

Two things helped me-one was using a vaginal estrogen cream. I tried both Premarin, and Estrace,and liked the Estrace a lot better.

I was on the patch at the time, and my doctor said that using the patch sometimes makes it harder to get estrogen in the vagina. He switched me to the pill (Premarin, although I want to switch to another), and I don't have that problem anymore. Good luck!

My very painful intercourse was caused by adhesions.

Well at first it was granulation. When that was finally cleared up and the pain was still there, it was adhesions. I had the adhesion removed and finally the pain is gone. My intestines had adhered to the vaginal cuff, and was adhered to other things and stuck together as well.

The muscles in your vagina can become very tight and constricted when you are afraid also. There is an actual name for it Vaginismus. It can cause a Catch 22. You really should talk to your Gyno and get some help so the situation doesn't keep getting worse. Vickey

I know how you feel. I am two years post up. I kept my ovaries because I was afraid that if I didn't I would have sexual problems. I'm still having problems because they have me on hormones so my endo doesn't come back. Doc says it's all in my head. It's very depressing. My hubby thinks I don't love him anymore. It's as if the whole thought of sex has been removed from my mind. I can't use estrogen because it may cause the endo to flair up again

Bless your heart-I know how you feel, but the Endo doesn't always come back.

I had Endo AND Adenomysis (sp?), as well as cysts, fibroids, and a bad cervical infection.

I literally begged for my hysterectomy, just so I could get relief from my pain.

When I woke up, I had a hormone patch on my butt, and have used HRT ever since.

My Endo has not come back at all though. *crosses fingers*

I feel the same thing. My husband tells me its not the same like it used to be and i feel horrible that its not. I have cried many times thinking he will want to leave me because of it. I want sex even less and when my husband starts to get frisky I hesitate because i know it is painful and want to avoid it. I am very frustrated and don't know what to do.

Wow, are we all inthe same boat or what? I don't have the first inkling to have sex. No desire, nothing. I would rather just go to sleep or read in bed. It's like someone here said, "as if the whole idea of sex had been erased from my mind". Something is just so wrong. I am using Estrace for vaginal atrophy and I am going to askfor my hormones to be tested again. I don't think my ovaries are working that well, even though I still get mini periods. *sigh* If any of us find some relief I hope that it will get posted on all the boards. I seem to see this same problem listed time and again. I know I could sure use a light at the end of the tunnel.

You are not alone it hurts like hell i had a v.cuff and when he hits the wall i want to cry some times.DH was soo good with all this and with my recovery,and now i cant get close to him since the surgery,I love him so much it not fair on him that this happened to me.
stay strong
Haley