Why these thoughts??

The closer my surgery gets the more stressed out I get. I have fibromyalgia so the more stressed out I get the more my body rebels. I have been having some really morbid thoughts that not only concerned me but my family. It is not like I have never had surgery before so why is this one so different. I am having trouble sleeping. I can't seem to get myself in gear to get up and do the things that I need to do before I go to surgery. My husband ask me yesterday if I was nervous about my surgery and I said yes I just didn't say to what degree. Last night I was sitting on the couch so sleepy I couldn't hold my eyes open and then I go to bed and my head hits the pillow and I am wide awake and thinking about everything under the sun. I went to sleep sometime after 1am and got up at 6am. I want to cry but not sure of why. This is surgery I have wanted for a very long time due to the extremely painful periods. On a scale of 1 to 10 they were a 15 or better. I am trying to find things that will keep me occupied but nothing is helping. I like to read and crochet but I pick up my crocheting and I just can't keep my mind on what I am doing. I sew alot to but am afraid to get around the sewing machine I am afraid that my mind will wonder and material won't be the only thing getting sewn...........LOL. Some encouraging words please ladies!

Vicki

Vicki,
I believe these are perfectly normal "thoughts" that you are experiencing. My surgery is only 4 days after yours and I find myself thinking these thoughts too. Sometimes its hard to shake them off, so I can sympathize with you. I too, have fibromyalgia and know that stress can really send you into a "fibro flare".

My aches and pains are more pronounced right now and that's why it is so important to get my rest. I sometimes "burn the midnight oil" working on stuff around the house, but lately, I'm trying to go to bed at at the same time each night and get at least 7 hours of sleep. Do you take meds for sleep quality? I'm supposed to take mine 2 hours before I want to fall asleep and I usually forget and take them right before hopping into bed and then I'm laying there awake for a bit thinking, just like you. This week I'm really concentrating on my sleep so I need to take my meds at 8 p.m. and then I'll be pretty darn tired by 10 p.m. (I get up at 6 a.m.).

I'm not sure how I'm going to feel after surgery, but guess I'll deal with that when the time comes. Most of my fibro pain is in my legs and it really acts up if I'm in one position too long and I figure I'll be in surgery approx. 2 hours flat on my back.

I think everyone has to find their own way to deal with the stress of waiting. When I get fearful (or have morbid thoughts) I stop and take a deep breath and concentrate on a Bible verse that I've memorized and that seems to relax me a bit. I also play some soothing music (I love old country music, like Jim Reeves). The feelings and thoughts are going to come, its normal. Dwelling on them is not really good.

Vicki, I don't really have any answers, but I'm right with ya, girl. Its comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this and can get a lot of encouragement here on this website.

Take good care of yourself!

Best wishes,

I used to take meds for my fibro and to help me sleep but then I lost insurance due to husbands work and couldn't afford the meds.

To top all my other feelings off my son informs me last night that he needs a radio to go in his truck because he catches himself trying to doze off when he is going to work and back home. He has had his license since he was 16 but just bought a vehicle last month and is working. Like I didn't have enough to worry about as it was. Geesh!

I am glad I am not the only one with all these feelings.

I know what you mean about laying for to long. My back, legs and hips get to hurting so bad. A lot of times that is what wakes me up of the morning.

I just need some encouraging words I suppose. I am a strong person emotionally so I normally can bounce alot off of me without it getting to me and making me an emotional train wreck.

Vicki

I have fibro too and I am so stressed, a million things to do and can't seem to focus on one long enough to get it done. I work part time 2 to 2 -1/2 days a week and that is almost over whelming....Afraid since ready symptom of ovarian cancer that I may have it and they can't tell from the ultrasound.....Feel like crying too.....Sometimes I do...even at work.....quilt of things in the past that I should have done differently....just on and on......Feel like I need to tell the Dr. that I am about to lose it just from the stress, let alone add the cramping and back pain....Almost more than anyone can handle.....