pity party

I am having a pity party. I am 5 weeks out and I know I am getting better. But my swelly belly seems to be getting worse than it was last week. It hurts to sit and I have to spread my legs to accommodate it. It hurts to stand too long as well. It just feels so distended and I feel like I look like those poor children in 3rd World countries who are starving.
My back hurts no matter what I am doing; standing, sitting or laying.
I am very restless but haven't much desire to leave the house to do anything. I am lonely but can't seem to bring myself to call anyone. I sit by my computer and wait for someone to email me.
Returning to work is coming up-I have my 6 week check up on Friday. I don't feel physically ready but it probably would help me emotionally.
Do other people have these mixed feelings? It seems as if it is almost easier when you just get out of the hospital because you know (and others know) you need to rest and relax and not do much of anything at all. At 5 weeks, I feel as if I should be almost back to normal and ready to get back into my routine. I am feeling discouraged.
UGH!

Hello Pity Party- We all heal at different times. I promise you, you will be ok. Just give yourself some more time. Don't compare yourself. You are you , there is only one of you, so cheer up! Better days are ahead. I looked at my stomach this morning, after my shower in the mirror. I thought how horrible it looked. I am all lop-sided. One side of the incision sticks out further then the other side. I look like a big contorted blobby I just thought oh well, small price to pay for no more periods and white jeans this summer. If I can't wear jeans by then, maybe I will buy a mu-mu. Remember them you older women? Big flowered tents . They would be real comfortable about now. I don't care if I shrivel up like a prune, I am determined that I will not let this get me down. Hey , I almost died during my surgery, so I am not going to complain about a tummy that looks like I am pregnant with an alien. Small price to pay for the chance to see my grandchildren again, to see the stars at night, to enjoy the companionship of my husband. So many things to be thankful for. smile I promise you things will get b-e-t-t-e-r! Luv- Cath

Omg, was I on Candid Camera about 4 weeks ago, lol!! I was having daily pity parties for 1, immediate seating available. That in between stage was the hardest for me. I was bored, felt like crap, didn't want any of my friends coming over to visit, stayed on the computer all day etc. As far as you going back to work, if you aren't physically ready then don't do it. I was off 8 weeks, went back this last Monday. I was sad and glad about going back. I had such a great day on Monday, I was out of the house, around my co workers and able to socialize and I felt good physically. Tuesday, I didn't make it a full day and just went dowhill from there. I expected I would be wiped out the first week but didn't realize how much. I think all of us have experienced these same feelings that you have. It's such an isolating feeling on top of all the other stuff this surgery does to us. I would have days where I was so sorry I had this surgery done. It's so much more than we expected. Even though I have had nerve pain throughout my ordeal and may have to go see a Neurologist now, I am glad I had the surgery. I know in another year, I will be really glad!! I will be thinking of you and remember, there are always ladies in here to be supportive, night and day!! Much love to you!!
Diane

Hi Pityparty,
I am six weeks post op on Tuesday, and I too have the lower backache when walking a lot or sitting etc. I am mostly feeling better but still TIRED and FAT!! It is still much better than periods though!!! I think all this is normal for us at this stage, so don't worry you'll get there in the end
Hope you feel better soon
Herne x

Hi pittyparty, I go back to work on the 20th. I am having mixed feelings - I feel like okay I got over the physical limitations, but what about the emotional. We don't have any children and the hole in my soul seems to be getting larger. I try to look at the positive and that is when I am ready to work, then I get depressed and just want to stay home and do nothing.

I'll join the Pity Party, too!!

I've been having bladder problems and fluid build up since my surgery. I finally feeling like I'm going to be getting the right doctor but now I'm afraid what he'll tell me.

I don't regret having the surgery, I just wish I weren't having these problems. I was in such pain before the surgery, I was looking forward to being pain-free afterwards. I guess that's an unrealistic goal! I've had nerve pain during other times of my life, that stinks. I wish all of you gals pain-free days ahead!!

Hey, if we're going to make this a good pity party I think think we should get as many people to whine in this thread as we can.... we know we're not alone!!! Then we can all go out for hot fudge sundaes...

I'll bring some wine to this party too. Red or white? I'm sick of the swelly belly but glad to be up and back to work! Hang in there everyone, we'll get there!

I will bring the cheese to go along with the wine -- every day is a struggle, but we will all get there...