scared for DD(children mentioned)

I am nervous for the last quarter of school. she has been through so much all ready and now she has to deal w/ my surgery. I pray to god it won't effect her schoolwork. I wont be able to pick her up or snuggle w/her on my lap or carry her or lay next to her because she kicks in her sleep. Oh my god what am I doing? I need the surgery to make my life better but it will be at my baby girls expense. I know she's strong but she is used to mommy doing EVERYTHING with her. Now mommy is turning her life upside down. This will, I pray to god, hopefully be the toughest crap she has to go through. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your dd will be fine yes as mothers we are use to trying to do everything but kids are really eager to help when mom doesnt feel good i had my surgery in january and i am raising my grandaughter shes 7 i had the same worries but my dh was great watched her when i was in the hospital took her to school helped with homework when i got home she acted like a little nurse always asking if i needed something sat next to me in bed and we read together and played cards or board games she gave me gentle hugs i showed her my incision and she understood that she had to be careful of grandmas tummy she helped around the house was more then willing to do extra chores at the end of the week we did something special for her dont worry not sure how old your dd is but she will be ok hopefully you have some help as for school my dgd has a wonderful teacher that gave her extra attention while in the hospital and she even sent me home dinner for the family one night shes a special teacher she will understand about lying down with her snuggle before bed time its good that kids need to learn to fall a asleep on thier own so relax and take care you will feel so much better afterwards

Thank you for your advice. My DD is 5. She really has been great. considering she has had her eating habits turned upside down do to food allergies which we are finally back on track. then me ending up in the hospital a few weeks ago. I was admitted overnight due to severe pain. It was our first night apart ever. And now the TAH/BSO. She is very helpful and caring. She also has a good teacher whom I just e-mailed to let know somewhat of what is going on. You know, I could careless about the surgery. It's her I am worried about. People who know me say I am a wonderful parent so she will be o.k. We are very affectionate with hugs and cuddles. and now it seems that will be taken away from her. When I first explained it to her about what was needed and what couldn't be done for a while, she broke my heart with her response. She thought I didn't love her anymore. Itt tore me apart. thank you though for your adviceand thoughts. I just am very emotional right now.

You can still hug and cuddle, just carefully and gently that's all. And I know at that age my kids both loved feeling like big girls. That comes in handy, just give her little jobs and tell her how great she's taking care of mommy. You'll both be fine

I'm really worried about my children as well. I've got 7 yr old twins and I've been a SAHM and with them every second except for when they are school. I have my TAH Monday. I am sooooooo worried about the children. I know I should just calm down and let my dh's grandmother handle things but I'm still nervous! I was reading some of the other post about women having their moms around to help. I wish my mom was around, my mom died 8 yrs ago

((((Jade_Rose)))) This surgery is such a hard one, and it's hard not only on us, but because it can affect the rest of the family as well

When I had my hyst, in December 2000, my DD turned 5 the day I came home from the castle. At that point, we still co-slept and spent a whole lot of time snuggling and cuddling. She also kicked while she slept and was way over the my lifting restriction I was concerned that she would react adversely or that she would hurt me in trying to ensure that she still got all the cuddling she still needed and was still used to. Guess what? I had my surgery, I recovered fine and my DD fared beautifully, as she always does

One thing that was a life savor for me was my tummy pillow: it not only served to shelter my recovering tummy as I rested and slept, it also served as a reminder that I was still recovering and even protected my tummy from my big white who also likes to jump on my tummy.

(((Jade_Rose))) there and don't fret so much: your surgery will not destroy your child but may end up being the best thing you do for yourself

Jade-rose, I'm also worried about the effect on my ds. He is 4 1/2 and loves his hugs and cuddles. However, we have been having great fun trying out different cuddles. A favourite at the moment is the foot cuddle The main problem with this one is that he is starting to tickle the old tootsies, so I think we'll have to sort that one out pretty quickly...I don't think a tickling session will be on the cards when I come home from the castle! Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that affection, hugs and cuddles can come in all shapes and forms...try some out with your dd. It will get her used to it and usually ends up in a giggling session If you're anything like me at the moment, every moment of laughter is necessary to offset getting stressed!
Take care

Hi all! Children are such wonderful wide-eyed adaptable little beings. That is how they survive. Hugs are difficult, but more importantly just different. I have 3 3/4 yr. old and every a.m. we normally embrace and cuddle for several minutes. I miss that, but we compensate by me kneeling down and hugging - protecting my belly! Whats been hard for us is that normally I am rambunctious with my kids (both boys) and he doesn't understand why we can't be rambunctious, but as long as I am defensive and remind him he does good. And, its temporary and gets better with each day. So overall - if you are in pain now it sounds like the surgery will improve your life. No worries, kids understand on some level. I hope you feel better soon and good luck! xoxoxo
M.
TAH 04/04/06 adeno in cervix, removal of cervix and uterus

I can really relate to this thread, as well.

My ds was 3 when I had my surgery. Although DH was around, (in fact, I'm the sole breadwinner in the family, so he's around all day long) I was responsible for at least 75% of the childcare. Dad isn't as patient, so Mom gives the baths (which of course include at least 45 minutes of playing with all of the bath toys), gives all the snacks, puts ds to bed..... you know the drill.

We had my 16-year-old dd (who lives with her dad) stay with us for six weeks. She did the cooking and gave ds his baths, and dh had to step up to the plate and put him to bed for a while. I was able to snuggle on the couch, watch some movies, and read books. We allowed ds to bring his toys down to the living room for those weeks so he could be with me more.

I am pleased to report that all went well. DD, DH, and DS bonded really well and they became a well-oiled machine... Of course, when I was able to take over my jobs again, they were more than willing for me to do so -- but in the meantime, it worked out well.

As long as you have some help, you and your DD will most likely do fine, too. Little ones really do like to do things alone, and they get a tremendous sense of accomplishment when they know they're "helping".

I also second the motion for a tummy pillow -- or even a body pillow so you can continue your snuggling as you're able to.

To give you even more support through this time, we also have a forum called Surviving Parenthood here at Hyster Sisters. It's a special place where we come together to discuss issues just like this one!

to you. I think your dd is going to surprise you.

I had the same concerns as you when I was pre-op about my dd. I was worried about cuddling, sleeping situation (she slept with me) and all the other mommy things. Amazingly, thing have a way of working themselves out. You find a way to do these important things, alot of times it is trial and error. I was able to cuddle my dd when we watched tv, I just had a pillow on my tummy to protect it. As for the sleeping situation, I moved her toddler bed into my room, put it right next to my bed and tried to get her to sleep there. Alot of times that did not work out, so I just got a spare comforter blanket and wedged it between us.

Another thing that she loved was, I got her a little pretend doctors kit. She had a blast taking my temp, blood pressure, giving me shots, etc. If I was feeling badly one day, we would take bedtrays and DVD's and have lunch in bed (the bedtray I bought for her was a lifesaver). She would color, do little puzzles, Crayola Mess Free paints, scrapbooking, was all things we could do together while I rested in bed and we still had tons of quality time together. I think she was a little disappointed when I was all recovered because she was having so much fun. I just told her I am having another surgery and her response was "Yippee, can we get the bed trays out".

I think you can see all of our points, that you will find a way to do some of your mommy things without compromising you recovery and ruining your child.
Best of luck with everything!!!!