addicted?

Wow! I've been just reading through your posts and wanted to say that I'm glad you did find a doctor to help you through this difficult time. And I am glad that you felt you could come here for support instead of carrying this weight alone. Have you talked with your DH yet? I know that is never easy but I'm sure he will be there for you and it may help him to know that you need him and why.
I hope you feel better soon.
Take care.

hi there shutterbug. it is really nice to see you are doing well. i am doing better. i spoke with my dh a little bit about the dependency. he asked if i took them alot. i told him, no. i only took them when i was hurting too much to function. i would take one in the early a.m., and one later if i needed it, and then one again at bedtime, so that the pain wouldn't wake me up. i stopped takeing the bedtime one a few weeks ago because i didn't want to be on them all the time. i would wake him up every night moaning. it just hurt so much. when i decided to stop taking them altogether, it was because i was just sick to death of needing pain relief, and very sad that my situation was taking so long to get over. i think that i thought if i stopped taking them, i would stop being this sick person. does that make any sense? my new doctor and nurse, especially, have been so kind. they have known me for 5 years. we all live near each other, and i have found alot of comfort in that. they know that i don't even drink, so i guess that i feel they trust me. i have a big hangup about telling my dh, not because he would look down on me, but because that meant i had to admit there was another problem with me. he was a little surprised about what i told him. i just feel better because i don't take them for recreation or anything. it was a big surprise when my body acted the way that it did. i had been told by the docs and the pharmacist that there wouldn't be withdrawl symptoms at the rate i took them. they are dangerous though. thank you all so much for your advice and support and kindness. it means so much to me.

Heather,

If you don't want to be on the pain meds I would not let them talk you into it. I would see if there is a Pain Clinic in your area. Given that you are in Colorado I bet there is. I also bet there is Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction program in your area -- see (http://www.umassmed.edu/cfm/srp/) for general information on this program. I have done the eight week program here at Duke for general anxiety and hyper-reactivity with great results. It is also used quite effectively for those with chronic pain.

I think you need to get your anxiety under wraps rather than be on more pain pills -- especially since that is not what you want (more pain pills). Until your anxiety is addressed I don't think you will effectively get a handle on much else. But my bias of being married to a Psychiatrist shines through yet again, perhaps

Good luck!

Catherine

It's so good to hear that you've found good medical help.

Two things strike me from your postings: You're afraid of being labelled an "Addict" and, You need to try to separate your actual physical pain from the "withdrawing" symptoms that you experience. If you need painkillers because of pain rather than withdrawl, then you need to deal with that first by whatever means work best, preferably with the help of pain-management experts. When you can recognise the pain and get it under control you will be able to think straighter about the "addiction" if that's really what it is. Then you can begin to look at the truths and myths of addiction and start to realise that you are not necessarily headed for the gutter!
Many of us have addictions without even realising it - you often hear people joke about being addicted to chocolate. I gave it up for Lent one year and had headaches and shakes for the best part of two weeks! By Easter though, the headaches etc, had cleared up and I didn't need my reading gllasses any more!

I wish you luck with whatever path you choose - you have shown that you are strong and able enough to know what is right for you. And if you don't know, just come talk it through with your sisters!

hey ladies. i just wanted to let you know that i have been put in touch with a pain management doc. i took the first available appt.! i have also started on an antidepressant. i am going to be okay. thank you.

Hey heather, I just want to say that I think you are handling everything really well given the difficult circumstances you've been through. I have been and still am going to pain management doc. I have tried a lot of different antidepressants- you name it , elavil, prozac, mirtazapine, wellbutrin, lexapro, cymbalta, celexa, effexor. Unfortunately, I have a very sensitive system and do not tolerate drugs well. I swear I have a pharmacy in my kitchen cabinet!
Luckily for me, I have a wonderful pain management doc who is hanging in there with me, despite the fact that I am one of his toughest patients. With his permission, I am going to try 5htp-supposedly less side effects. We'll see. I've also gone to see a therapist to talk about how to deal with severe, chronic pain, just to see if I am doing what I need to be doing. Also continuing health problems are hard on even the best of marriages and my dh and I had some work to do there.
I am so glad you had the courage to get in and see some other doctors and get some help. Sympathetic and knowledgable doctors are truly worth their weight in gold! I wish you all the best. If you ever want to pm me, please do. I am so impressed with all the ladies here.
Many hugs, guitar (aleta)

Congrats Heather I'm really proud of how you're handling this. You are an amazing strong lady. I hope you get your pain under control and begin healing both physically and emotionally. Best of luck.

Great job, Heather! I wish you the best of luck at the pain doc. Catherine

I'm a fairly traditional woman when it comes to health care and medications. I seek expert medical care and know my tolerances and limits.

I was an Rx addict for 20 years and I was weaned off a total of 5 opiate drugs, 1 at a time, over a 2 month period. I shook for a good 6 weeks and had the sweats occasionally for up to 2 years. Drug half-lives figure in here. I have been clean and sober for 12 years.

I believe that my body does not process opiates/drugs well. I am always very careful to let everybody involved with my health care that I don't want narcotics if at all possible and why. I am responsible for my healthcare and if I don't inform everybody of my limitations I could get in trouble.

Now for the looney tunes part!

I have a young friend that I watched grow into adulthood who is a Naturaopath. He introduced me to accupuncture. I had sinus surgery 4 years ago and Dr prescribed Vicodin. I tried it and it wired me up so much I couldn't sleep and I was so sick I could hardly walk or eat. I called him and he had me come in to his office and he gave me an accupuncture treatment for overdosing. It took about an hour, was not painful, made me throw up horrendously. However, I walked away from his office pain free and and never needed another pain pill. I truly felt like a new person. One other time I had a leg injury from blunt impact and went to his office for accupuncture again. The swelling went down immediately (actually seeped out through the accupuncture holes as I watched and it wasn't blood) and the bruising was gone in less than a week.

I know now that I have alternatives to hard drugs for pain relief. I am very grateful for that. I hate pain.

I have since moved 700 miles from this friend and have wished more than once that he was closer. I plan on finding a good accupuncturist in our area. The best way is to ask friends about their chiropractors. Some actually offer accupuncture in their offices. If they don't, they would know reputable practitioners who do.

You are doing well coping with what you have on your plate. I would take it to heart that you don't want narcotics and stick with it. There is no shame involved here. I'm praying that your anti-depressants work well for you and quickly.

Fortunately, everything changes day to day. God Bless,

I wish you the best of luck finding effective pain treatment. There's nothing loony about trying acupuncture for pain relief--many studies show that it can be incredibly effective, and many clinics now are combining drug therapy with acupuncture. I've never tried it, but if the doctors at your pain clinic know someone in your town who offers it, you might want to see if your doctors think that integrating it into your recovery might help you.